Aa
Something that IRKS me!!
Ok, heres a little rant that I need to get out and I hope that alot of people get where I'm coming from…I was reading some questions and responses a little bit ago and something that really gets to me is that fact that there are alot of "judgmental" responses…people come on here to ask questions for advice and help, they dont come on here to be judged or told what to do….like if the girl is 15 and has a question about pregnancy or something it makes me mad to see people writing about how she's 15 and needs to learn how to be more responsible blah blah blah…yeah I agree they are young and they should know what they may get themselves into but at the same time, we are not their mom and we dont need to be telling them what to do when they are turning to complete strangers and asking for help because maybe they dont have a mom or maybe they cant confide in their mom….
Anyways, that was something that really got to me tonight so I'm done…hopefully I dont get a lot of hate responses but if I do, OH WELL! :)
Anyways, that was something that really got to me tonight so I'm done…hopefully I dont get a lot of hate responses but if I do, OH WELL! :)
Best Answer
you are making it sound like I'm only pointing my finger towards you and I'm not..when I posted this rant I specifically said about how judgmental some people sound when teens ask about their body changes…I never said YOU told them what to do and I do believe my last response to you is that you are ADVISING them….I'm glad you advise how to be safe…
I never pretended to know what your life was growing up and it doesn't matter anyways. Having a difficult childhood or tough life, doesn't make someone better suited to be a mother at a young age. It doesn't mean that since someone didn't have sex ed, that they don't know anything or will immediately go out to try and have sex with everyone. Childhood experiences mean little to how a person can be responsible with their life now in making good decisions. If a person does not have the money or resources to raise a baby, then they should/need to be doing everything in their power to prevent pregnancy. It would be foolish to do otherwise.
I don't tell teens what to do, I give them information on their choices. If they want to have sex, I tell them all about birth control and tell them to make sure they are being safe, otherwise they can be a very young mother and will struggle to make ends meet, also risking STDs as well. That's not something anyone wants and I make sure they understand what they are getting themselves into. Having sex at a young age opens up a whole can of worms, as it's not just a physical act, it's emotional, too. They are giving their body to another person and feel vulnerable. If they are not mature enough to handle it all, then many things can go wrong and many times they do go wrong. I see this all the time. I give them all the information they will need and also make them think about what they are doing, by asking many questions to see where they are in their life. Some think they can handle it, but after talking with them, they'll change their mind as they realize how big of a deal this is and how life changing this act can be. One mistake with sex and they can be a mom at 15. That's a huge adjustment that would have to occur for that young teen and their whole world gets flipped upside down. They have not even grown up themselves and then get thrown into parenthood. It's not something I would ever want for any teen I talk to.
Teen pregnancy rates are typically highest in areas where there is little activities to do for teens. In the State of California, where I live, certain cities, like Fresno, have very high teen pregnancy rates. It has nothing to do with strict laws, sex ed talks, or drinking ages, but there really isn't much to do there. No good sports leagues, not many academic or extracurricular clubs offered at the high schools, no areas for teens to hang out, etc. So many turn to sex and they are not adequately protecting themselves, so we get more teen parents. The teens there get the same sex ed as all other high schools in the state, but their teen pregnancy rate is through the roof. High schools in other cities in this state that have many activities and things to do for teens, have much lower teen pregnancy rates. That's why I also push teens to get involved in things they enjoy. Go hang out with friends, play a sport, join a club or group, do other things than spending alone time with the bf.
I don't tell teens what to do, I give them information on their choices. If they want to have sex, I tell them all about birth control and tell them to make sure they are being safe, otherwise they can be a very young mother and will struggle to make ends meet, also risking STDs as well. That's not something anyone wants and I make sure they understand what they are getting themselves into. Having sex at a young age opens up a whole can of worms, as it's not just a physical act, it's emotional, too. They are giving their body to another person and feel vulnerable. If they are not mature enough to handle it all, then many things can go wrong and many times they do go wrong. I see this all the time. I give them all the information they will need and also make them think about what they are doing, by asking many questions to see where they are in their life. Some think they can handle it, but after talking with them, they'll change their mind as they realize how big of a deal this is and how life changing this act can be. One mistake with sex and they can be a mom at 15. That's a huge adjustment that would have to occur for that young teen and their whole world gets flipped upside down. They have not even grown up themselves and then get thrown into parenthood. It's not something I would ever want for any teen I talk to.
Teen pregnancy rates are typically highest in areas where there is little activities to do for teens. In the State of California, where I live, certain cities, like Fresno, have very high teen pregnancy rates. It has nothing to do with strict laws, sex ed talks, or drinking ages, but there really isn't much to do there. No good sports leagues, not many academic or extracurricular clubs offered at the high schools, no areas for teens to hang out, etc. So many turn to sex and they are not adequately protecting themselves, so we get more teen parents. The teens there get the same sex ed as all other high schools in the state, but their teen pregnancy rate is through the roof. High schools in other cities in this state that have many activities and things to do for teens, have much lower teen pregnancy rates. That's why I also push teens to get involved in things they enjoy. Go hang out with friends, play a sport, join a club or group, do other things than spending alone time with the bf.
I am very glad we dont have much humidity because that is worse than direct heat….but I usually stay inside and keep my daughter inside so we dont risk dehydration and severe sunburns…I have a pool in the backyard that when you get in it feels like a bathtub because it is so warm…feels good but still could be quite dangerous being out in that kind of heat.
I'm ready for the winter and I will be ready for whatever is to come, I'm sure this winter will be a pretty cold one…last years winter was like fall year round (highs of 70's and lows of 40's)…I want this year to be highs of (30's and lows of 15's) haha…crazy but at the same time so deserving!
I'm ready for the winter and I will be ready for whatever is to come, I'm sure this winter will be a pretty cold one…last years winter was like fall year round (highs of 70's and lows of 40's)…I want this year to be highs of (30's and lows of 15's) haha…crazy but at the same time so deserving!
you'd have to agree with me when I say that over seas (e.i. germany, poland, israel, france…) they dont have sex education talks with them and that the age of drinking is young already so it could be more likely for teen pregnancy?
I know when I visited Israel….my home country…..my 15 year old cousin took me (20) at the time and my little sister (18) at the time to a bar to have a couple of drinks and play some pool….and yes she was able to drink too, she actually was the one to order the drinks for us because I am not fluent in Hebrew.
So I can see teen pregnancy happening over seas due to the easy laws of life.
Now I dont disagree on constructive criticism, but then again be easy about it….you never know when you say about them killing their baby or themselves…the judgmental comments could cause that too….what if a teen on here is felt like we are making them out to be a **** and stupid for their decisions? That's where the suicidal thoughts could come about…I'm just saying in general to watch what we say and be sensitive and put ourselves in their shoes.
I know when I visited Israel….my home country…..my 15 year old cousin took me (20) at the time and my little sister (18) at the time to a bar to have a couple of drinks and play some pool….and yes she was able to drink too, she actually was the one to order the drinks for us because I am not fluent in Hebrew.
So I can see teen pregnancy happening over seas due to the easy laws of life.
Now I dont disagree on constructive criticism, but then again be easy about it….you never know when you say about them killing their baby or themselves…the judgmental comments could cause that too….what if a teen on here is felt like we are making them out to be a **** and stupid for their decisions? That's where the suicidal thoughts could come about…I'm just saying in general to watch what we say and be sensitive and put ourselves in their shoes.
Oh yeah if you're in Texas I completely feel for you..what awful weather you guys have been having. here the real complaint is the humidity. it was 87* the other day and the index was 104*...what the heck??? high humidity.
ugh. lol....but I must say, I'll take it over the horrible drought you guys are having! Prayers for rain soon, that's for sure.
ugh. lol....but I must say, I'll take it over the horrible drought you guys are having! Prayers for rain soon, that's for sure.
Sometimes the best way to give an advise to a teenager who's seeking help is by your own example. To give them realistic description of what happens when you get pregnant, and you don't have a job or a steady relationship. I talk like that with my daughter all the time. I told her I was 21 when I had her and it was very hard and I had to go to school and be a parent and we couldn't afford many things and it's not what she would want for her child. I come from Poland and we never had a sex talk at school. I wish we did because in high school many of my friends got pregnant and even though they graduated their relationships fell apart. It's only natural for a teenager to explore in the sexual world but love makes you blind and sometimes constructive criticism of an idea is not such a bad idea. There are too many diseases that could ruin their lives if not careful. Someone has to step up to the plate and be direct. Sometimes teenagers don't listen to the parents but they will listen to strangers. If it's after the fact and pregnancy already occured then too late to judge. Support is what they need and what we say can impact if the pregnancy will go on or will be terminated. If you criticise already mentally wrecked pregnant young girl then don't be surprised to read in the news that another one killed her baby, or killed herself because didn't see her future in bright colors. So I guess let's think twice before we hit "post comment" :-)
lol here 102 F,u can fry an egg outside on the asphalt. but about this baby subject, i wish i had a baby when i was 16 , by now he or she would be at school instead i have a belly pain and morning sickness now :)
You say 94*F right now in Tx we would LOVE to have weather in the 90's instead of the 108*F we have been having..
The other day they did a study on the grass and pavement for temperatures…the grass reading was 153*F and the pavement was 160*F…so it is hot all around our grounds and that is why we are still under Fire weather warnings…I wis it would rain for like a whole entire week and cool off down to 90*F….I think the "coolest" it's going to be this week is 101*F
The other day they did a study on the grass and pavement for temperatures…the grass reading was 153*F and the pavement was 160*F…so it is hot all around our grounds and that is why we are still under Fire weather warnings…I wis it would rain for like a whole entire week and cool off down to 90*F….I think the "coolest" it's going to be this week is 101*F
Lol, well I earned a pell grant in order to go to school…guess that's all I can do considering I graduated 7 years ago from High School and was a B+ student, so scholarships weren't in mind. Plus I went to a private school from the age of 6 till 16…so like I said I was secluded as a child, the only child hood memories I carry are between 4 yellow walls, tip toe to the kitchen to get a drink so you dont wake up the sleeping giant and get in trouble….gaze out a window and watch the neighborhood children play together and make friends. Going to public school for only 2 years of my high school life and felt like an idiot with the new slangs and jokes going around and not knowing a single thing…there are a few things that people dont know about anyone else….we only know what they ask questions about so maybe just maybe we should be a little more sensitive to answering innocent little questions about what's going on with their bodies…
I'm not saying that what you do is wrong or judgmental…you are advising them that it will be hard at this time to have a child yes…but the girls on here are asking how will they know they are pregnant…they arent asking how to have sex…they are already doing it obviously…so telling them what to do and advising them what their choices are, are TWO different things
I'm not saying that what you do is wrong or judgmental…you are advising them that it will be hard at this time to have a child yes…but the girls on here are asking how will they know they are pregnant…they arent asking how to have sex…they are already doing it obviously…so telling them what to do and advising them what their choices are, are TWO different things
It doesn't matter if a person hears or sees something, they can still learn from what is said or seen. I've had it happen a number of times, by what I say to a teen that they have a realization that having a baby right now is not a good idea for them and they wait to have a family. I like to give them a reality check and talk about the financial strain, emotional strain, and relationship strain that a baby puts on someone. It's not easy and most teen parents don't finish school, end up single parents, and need help just to make it by. That's not a life that anyone should strive for and I hope more people would try to prevent it from happening. Teen pregnancy is not ok.
Also, I earned myself a scholarship in order to go and stay in college. I am not rich by any means, but I worked my butt off to get to where I am today. I do believe that anyone can do this and I've seen many people from my low income neighborhood make something of themselves. Anyone can make it on their own, if they prioritize their life. I refused to just be a statistic and not doing anything with my life, so I studied hard, did well in school, did not date often, worked and saved up as much money as I could, and so on so I could better my own life. I love children, but I can't afford a child right now, so I will wait to have children. It would be cruel and selfish of me to get pregnant right now when I can't adequately provide for him or her and would put myself into a situation where I would struggle. I don't want to do that and I would hope that no one would, so it's best to be responsible and protect against pregnancy. After I graduate, am married, and am financially ready, then I would bring a baby into this world, but I would never plan on doing so prior to that. It would be a foolish thing to do.
Also, I earned myself a scholarship in order to go and stay in college. I am not rich by any means, but I worked my butt off to get to where I am today. I do believe that anyone can do this and I've seen many people from my low income neighborhood make something of themselves. Anyone can make it on their own, if they prioritize their life. I refused to just be a statistic and not doing anything with my life, so I studied hard, did well in school, did not date often, worked and saved up as much money as I could, and so on so I could better my own life. I love children, but I can't afford a child right now, so I will wait to have children. It would be cruel and selfish of me to get pregnant right now when I can't adequately provide for him or her and would put myself into a situation where I would struggle. I don't want to do that and I would hope that no one would, so it's best to be responsible and protect against pregnancy. After I graduate, am married, and am financially ready, then I would bring a baby into this world, but I would never plan on doing so prior to that. It would be a foolish thing to do.
Ha! I can completely sympathize...here in Tallahassee it's 94*(with a heat index of 102*) and it feels like FALL compared to how hot it's been recently!
I'm glad to hear you're not upset, I prefer not to take sides in an argument and I never like any of our ladies getting their feelings hurt.
This IS an emotional topic and one that most of us are keenly aware of and involved in as parents of future teenagers. There's no right or wrong approach to it, but sympathy and empathy often go a long way towards changing minds, I've found.
I'm glad to hear you're not upset, I prefer not to take sides in an argument and I never like any of our ladies getting their feelings hurt.
This IS an emotional topic and one that most of us are keenly aware of and involved in as parents of future teenagers. There's no right or wrong approach to it, but sympathy and empathy often go a long way towards changing minds, I've found.
I'm quite calm….It may sound like I'm not but the internet misinterprets everything that we put out there..I'm just stating opinion and point…
I'm not offended and not defensive…just responsive.
And I'd rather not talk about weather considering where I live you might as well just fry an egg outside on the ground from the heat…. :)
I'm not offended and not defensive…just responsive.
And I'd rather not talk about weather considering where I live you might as well just fry an egg outside on the ground from the heat…. :)
Alright ladies perhaps it's time to move on from this subject. It's clear that feelings are being hurt and nothing will be accomplished if tempers are high.
Perhaps we can move on to something more neutral, like the weather?
Remember, the Mods will not allow a post to become too provoking or rude or contentious, so if you must continue this discussion, everyone needs to calm down.
Hope you all have a great day,
Co-Community leader Ashelen.
Perhaps we can move on to something more neutral, like the weather?
Remember, the Mods will not allow a post to become too provoking or rude or contentious, so if you must continue this discussion, everyone needs to calm down.
Hope you all have a great day,
Co-Community leader Ashelen.
And another thing, SORRY THAT I BEING ON THE SYSTEM IS HURTING THE ECONOMY….the economy isnt hurt by the people on the system technically is the stupid *** president we now have that put us in the recession
I think of myself when I go and ask for assistance and feel no shame in doing it. Not everyone can make it on their own, not everyone is rich and can go to college and earn a degree…maybe you should watch what you say before you offend some people on here…
I think of myself when I go and ask for assistance and feel no shame in doing it. Not everyone can make it on their own, not everyone is rich and can go to college and earn a degree…maybe you should watch what you say before you offend some people on here…
Also….I was talking about learning experiences by HEARING them not SEEING them…so what you learned from your cousins is a different way of learning than what they are coming here to ask for help…I'm just saying on judgmental issues….people need to be nicer…do you sit there and judge the girls that ask "how things work" when you talk to them about sex…..that's what I'm talking about
I wasnt talking in CAPS as a way of yelling…how'd I know that at least one person would say something about it like it was a big deal…..hmmm
Using all caps lock doesn't help you get your point across and only makes it look like you are losing control and grasping at straws. I am the CL of the teen health community and get numerous questions about pregnancy and how everything works, so you are wrong about teens knowing what they are getting themselves into. I educate them about birth control, encourage them to stay in school, and tell them about the consequences that can happen from their actions because many think it "won't happen to them" or "can't happen to them". I see this all the time and do my best to help prevent teens from losing out on experiences because of a poor decision now. I've seen a lot of teens realize that it's not so easy to have a baby and change their thought patterns to become more responsible and start protecting themselves and preparing for their future. It's great to see!
Also, you can learn life lessons from other people and not from personal experience. I watched my 2 older female cousins go through teen pregnancy and I watched them struggle and miss out on so much in life. I promised myself to never end up in their shoes and never did. I graduated high school with honors and went on to a great university. Both of my cousins struggled to finish high school, one never went to college, the other is still struggling to just get her AA. I am almost done with my Bachelor's degree, traveled all over, experiences life, am engaged, and going to get married next summer. It's a far difference then what my cousins went through and I am glad I can learn that from just watching them and not living it. It was a great life lesson for me to learn from afar.
I believe strongly in responsibility and being able to provide for yourself without asking for handouts. I urge teens to think about the consequences of their actions not only on their own lives, but the lives of everyone around them. Your choices/actions never just affect you, because you don't live in this world alone by yourself. There are millions of other people around you. It's a mature thing to do in thinking about others and not only about yourself. If someone says not to do something, then it would be a very good idea to really think about why they said that and if they are right. I take pride in the fact that I have never had to be on any kind of assistance and worked hard to get to where I am today. It is frustrating to watch as people take from the government programs and abuse the system. And we wonder why we are having economic problems? People are ruining what we had and we're spiraling downward.
Also, you can learn life lessons from other people and not from personal experience. I watched my 2 older female cousins go through teen pregnancy and I watched them struggle and miss out on so much in life. I promised myself to never end up in their shoes and never did. I graduated high school with honors and went on to a great university. Both of my cousins struggled to finish high school, one never went to college, the other is still struggling to just get her AA. I am almost done with my Bachelor's degree, traveled all over, experiences life, am engaged, and going to get married next summer. It's a far difference then what my cousins went through and I am glad I can learn that from just watching them and not living it. It was a great life lesson for me to learn from afar.
I believe strongly in responsibility and being able to provide for yourself without asking for handouts. I urge teens to think about the consequences of their actions not only on their own lives, but the lives of everyone around them. Your choices/actions never just affect you, because you don't live in this world alone by yourself. There are millions of other people around you. It's a mature thing to do in thinking about others and not only about yourself. If someone says not to do something, then it would be a very good idea to really think about why they said that and if they are right. I take pride in the fact that I have never had to be on any kind of assistance and worked hard to get to where I am today. It is frustrating to watch as people take from the government programs and abuse the system. And we wonder why we are having economic problems? People are ruining what we had and we're spiraling downward.
Yes I did read your response…I'm sure alot of judgment comments comes from those who are on the system and probably are young parents….maybe its a comment of shame…
I agree, people will do whatever they want. And I know for fact even to this day if I'm told I'm not alowed to do something I will WANT to do it even more…it's only natural :)
I agree, people will do whatever they want. And I know for fact even to this day if I'm told I'm not alowed to do something I will WANT to do it even more…it's only natural :)
Did you read my response? I was not judging anyone who receives assistance...What I did say, is I cant stand when people come on here mouthing that because these girls are young and pregnant, will have to live off the system, when in fact the one who is judging them, are more than likely living on the system too....
I had my first child at 19 and now have 6 kids...I, personally do not receive any kind of assistance at all....My husband works full time and goes to school as well...we just manage...But, that is just my situation...I dont judge anyone who makes life choices...you live and learn, and no matter what, when the day is done, people are going to do whatever they want anyways...so I have learned to just keep my mouth shut and stay out of it.
My husband and I do know a couple who had their first child at 15, got married and now they are 37? and still married and very VERY happy...
I had my first child at 19 and now have 6 kids...I, personally do not receive any kind of assistance at all....My husband works full time and goes to school as well...we just manage...But, that is just my situation...I dont judge anyone who makes life choices...you live and learn, and no matter what, when the day is done, people are going to do whatever they want anyways...so I have learned to just keep my mouth shut and stay out of it.
My husband and I do know a couple who had their first child at 15, got married and now they are 37? and still married and very VERY happy...
I dont know what community you read that girl's at the age of 13-17 is asking HOW to get pregnant, because I've NEVER seen that on this community…Just saying…
And another thing, like I said I DONT HAVE A JOB…I'm a single stay at home mom, and now going to college…..I live off child support….and I have a child…..I havent worked all the time since my daughter was born…
And another thing, like I said I DONT HAVE A JOB…I'm a single stay at home mom, and now going to college…..I live off child support….and I have a child…..I havent worked all the time since my daughter was born…
IN REPONSE TO A FEW, though right now I just skimmed through.
I WAS NEVER AGAIN I WILL SAY IT AGAIN NEVER…DO I NEED TO SAY IT ONE MORE TIME……..OK NEVER, GIVEN THE TALK BY MY PARENTS NOR DID I HAVE "SEX EDUCATION" IN SCHOOL BECAUSE I WENT TO A PRIVATE SCHOOL AND THEY DIDNT OFFER IT AND I HAD MY ****FIRST**** CHILD WHEN I WAS 22…I WAS SEXUALLY ACTIVE AT THE AGE OF 15 AND KNEW WHAT I WAS DOING AND THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY ACTIONS…IT WAS MY CHOICE AND MINE ONLY…NO ONE SHOULD JUDGE A YOUNG GIRLS CHOICES BECAUSE AT THIS DAY AND AGE, GIRLS WHO ARE SEXUALLY ACTIVE AND HAVING SEX ****KNOW**** THE CONSEQUENCES OF THEIR ACTIONS SO WHY "SHOVE" IT IN THEIR FACE????????
JUST TIRED OF SEEING THE RESPONSES OF "YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT HAVING SEX UNPROTECTED IS WRONG BLAH BLAH BLAH!"
THE ONLY CHILD I HAVE IS MY OWN, AND IN SAYING THAT I WILL NOT JUDGE NO "CHILD" ON HERE WHO HAS COME TO **ME** FOR ADVICE ON WHAT TO DO…THEY ARE SCARED AND CANT TALK TO THEIR PARENTS BECAUSE UM WHO REMEMBERS BEING A CHILD?? IT'S SCARY TO TELL YOUR PARENTS ABOUT YOUR "ACTIVITIES" AND MOST LIKELY THEY WILL GROUND YOU, WHICH LEADS TO REBELLION AND THEN THAT CHILD WILL WANT TO DO IT EVEN MORE AND THEN WHAT, THE CONSEQUENCES COULD BE MORE HARMFUL THAN BEFORE….
SO I THINK AS STRANGERS WE SHOULD BE MORE SYMPATHETIC AND BE MORE SENSITIVE WHEN ANSWERING THEIR QUESTIONS AND NOT TRY TO "TELL" THEM WHAT TO DO…THAT'S NOT GOING TO MAKE ANYTHING BETTER…LIKE I SAID I'M SURE THAT THEY KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING WHEN THEY ARE DOING IT AND ARE YOUNG SO THEY DONT KNOW WHAT CHANGES ARE SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN TO THEIR BODY SO THAT'S WHY THEY ASK….
IF ALL ANSWERS WERE HANDED TO US, ****LIFE LESSONS WILL NEVER BE LEARNED****
AND I'M SORRY IF YOU TAX PAYERS FEEL IT'S A BURDEN TO HELP THOSE IN NEED…I'M SURE THAT THE ONES WHO AREN'T ON WELFARE NEED TO HAVE A CLUE ON WHAT IT IS TO STRUGGLE AND IF THEY DID I'M SURE THEY WOULD BE USING THE SYSTEM TOO!!!
THE ECONOMY IS ABOUT TO GO BACK INTO RECESSION…SO I WILL GLADLY USE THE HELP I CAN GET…I DONT DO DRUGS AND I AM A SINGLE, STAY AT HOME MOM, AND COLLEGE STUDENT...
THAT IS ALL...
I WAS NEVER AGAIN I WILL SAY IT AGAIN NEVER…DO I NEED TO SAY IT ONE MORE TIME……..OK NEVER, GIVEN THE TALK BY MY PARENTS NOR DID I HAVE "SEX EDUCATION" IN SCHOOL BECAUSE I WENT TO A PRIVATE SCHOOL AND THEY DIDNT OFFER IT AND I HAD MY ****FIRST**** CHILD WHEN I WAS 22…I WAS SEXUALLY ACTIVE AT THE AGE OF 15 AND KNEW WHAT I WAS DOING AND THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY ACTIONS…IT WAS MY CHOICE AND MINE ONLY…NO ONE SHOULD JUDGE A YOUNG GIRLS CHOICES BECAUSE AT THIS DAY AND AGE, GIRLS WHO ARE SEXUALLY ACTIVE AND HAVING SEX ****KNOW**** THE CONSEQUENCES OF THEIR ACTIONS SO WHY "SHOVE" IT IN THEIR FACE????????
JUST TIRED OF SEEING THE RESPONSES OF "YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT HAVING SEX UNPROTECTED IS WRONG BLAH BLAH BLAH!"
THE ONLY CHILD I HAVE IS MY OWN, AND IN SAYING THAT I WILL NOT JUDGE NO "CHILD" ON HERE WHO HAS COME TO **ME** FOR ADVICE ON WHAT TO DO…THEY ARE SCARED AND CANT TALK TO THEIR PARENTS BECAUSE UM WHO REMEMBERS BEING A CHILD?? IT'S SCARY TO TELL YOUR PARENTS ABOUT YOUR "ACTIVITIES" AND MOST LIKELY THEY WILL GROUND YOU, WHICH LEADS TO REBELLION AND THEN THAT CHILD WILL WANT TO DO IT EVEN MORE AND THEN WHAT, THE CONSEQUENCES COULD BE MORE HARMFUL THAN BEFORE….
SO I THINK AS STRANGERS WE SHOULD BE MORE SYMPATHETIC AND BE MORE SENSITIVE WHEN ANSWERING THEIR QUESTIONS AND NOT TRY TO "TELL" THEM WHAT TO DO…THAT'S NOT GOING TO MAKE ANYTHING BETTER…LIKE I SAID I'M SURE THAT THEY KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING WHEN THEY ARE DOING IT AND ARE YOUNG SO THEY DONT KNOW WHAT CHANGES ARE SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN TO THEIR BODY SO THAT'S WHY THEY ASK….
IF ALL ANSWERS WERE HANDED TO US, ****LIFE LESSONS WILL NEVER BE LEARNED****
AND I'M SORRY IF YOU TAX PAYERS FEEL IT'S A BURDEN TO HELP THOSE IN NEED…I'M SURE THAT THE ONES WHO AREN'T ON WELFARE NEED TO HAVE A CLUE ON WHAT IT IS TO STRUGGLE AND IF THEY DID I'M SURE THEY WOULD BE USING THE SYSTEM TOO!!!
THE ECONOMY IS ABOUT TO GO BACK INTO RECESSION…SO I WILL GLADLY USE THE HELP I CAN GET…I DONT DO DRUGS AND I AM A SINGLE, STAY AT HOME MOM, AND COLLEGE STUDENT...
THAT IS ALL...
I agree that the judgemental responses are sometimes too harsh...But, after being on this site for years, I have come to realize, its going to happen, so I just try to ignore it, and not let it get to me...
But, what does GET TO ME, is the people who point blame at others or judge, and say well because they are young, or whatever, are going to have to get government help, and blah, blah, blah...but, yet, you dont hear them mentioning that they too are receiving assistance from the government...I know there are plenty of people that are mid 20's hell even mid 30's who receive some kind of benefits from the government...it just bothers me sorry
But, what does GET TO ME, is the people who point blame at others or judge, and say well because they are young, or whatever, are going to have to get government help, and blah, blah, blah...but, yet, you dont hear them mentioning that they too are receiving assistance from the government...I know there are plenty of people that are mid 20's hell even mid 30's who receive some kind of benefits from the government...it just bothers me sorry
I totally agree with Clysta. Yes, people come on here looking for support, but in no way will I ever encourage or support teen pregnancy. I encourage teens to be more responsible, to stay in school, and prepare for their future. Just because a young woman wants a child, does not mean she should have one right away. I love children and I want children, so does that mean I should get pregnant right now? No way. I am still in school with a couple semesters left before I get my bachelor's degree, I am not married yet, and I don't have the finances to have a family. It is cruel to the baby if I were to just follow my own selfish wants to have a child when I can't provide for them adequately.
Many teens feel as if pregnancy will never happen to them and they also typically don't have the correct information. I get questions sent to me all the time about how pregnancy occurs and if you can get pregnant from doing this or that. I give them the information and also encourage them to look to their future. I would never encourage a teen to rush into parenthood when they are only a child themself. I do tell it like it is, because many times, they need to hear it and it's about the only way to get it across to them that this is serious and they really need to think about their actions. The actions that they do now will affect them in the future and can change their lives completely. Teen pregnancy is on the rise and if the parents aren't doing anything, then someone else needs to step in to help. As others have said, I would hope someone would do that for my future children, to tell them about sex and how to protect themself, if they won't listen to me about it.
I have watched teen pregnancy occur many times around me, with female cousins and classmates. All of them struggled a lot to try and provide for their children and it was a huge reality check when they realized that it isn't as easy as it looked before. Most teens have this rose colored glasses view of motherhood and it's not like that. You get tired, exhausted and still have to take care of a baby. It's no longer just about you, your life is now about your child and I hope more teens realize that.
Many teens feel as if pregnancy will never happen to them and they also typically don't have the correct information. I get questions sent to me all the time about how pregnancy occurs and if you can get pregnant from doing this or that. I give them the information and also encourage them to look to their future. I would never encourage a teen to rush into parenthood when they are only a child themself. I do tell it like it is, because many times, they need to hear it and it's about the only way to get it across to them that this is serious and they really need to think about their actions. The actions that they do now will affect them in the future and can change their lives completely. Teen pregnancy is on the rise and if the parents aren't doing anything, then someone else needs to step in to help. As others have said, I would hope someone would do that for my future children, to tell them about sex and how to protect themself, if they won't listen to me about it.
I have watched teen pregnancy occur many times around me, with female cousins and classmates. All of them struggled a lot to try and provide for their children and it was a huge reality check when they realized that it isn't as easy as it looked before. Most teens have this rose colored glasses view of motherhood and it's not like that. You get tired, exhausted and still have to take care of a baby. It's no longer just about you, your life is now about your child and I hope more teens realize that.
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In response to Clysta.
When I was 16 I got pregnant with my son.(yes I was mature, no I did not party, and more then anything I wanted a family). I also had been out on my own for more then a year, held down a full time job, and went to school. I got married to my sons father shortly after my son was born. I am now 22, still with the father, army wife, pregnant again, I do not get any kind of state help and would not go back and change a thing. I was judged a lot while pregnant and I agree I didn't make the best choices but I still turned out ok. I know that's not the case for everyone but Sometimes you have to remember being young doesn't always mean they don't know what they are doing or getting into. Choices (bad and good) make us the people we are.