I need some advice please - Well I'm 27 , and for the past 2 years have been trying to find a 'Sperm donor' but have had no luck, i went to the doctors, but was turnt away help - :( I am single and straight, the reason i want a sperm donor to have a baby is because of past troubles with relationships! So this is my choice.. The advice Im looking for is, I have a male friend that ive known for 4 years - we are close friends, all my family know him too - I want to ask him if he can help me, to make my dream come true :) But i dont know how to ask him (I cant just go upto him and ask him, just like that) Because it doesnt feel right - we are adults here not teens, so its difficult!
can anybody tell me how to go about asking him? :) what do i say, how do i say it.... - I mean we can talk together about anything, we have no secrets, but this is different, so i need some help please..
Since you ARE adults, it should make it easier to approach the subject with him. If you two are as close as you say then you should be able to sit him down and say something along these lines"
"SoAndSo, we've been friends for four years now and I feel that was have become extremely close. I have a huge favor I want to ask you and I will be totally and completely understanding if you don't want to do it. All I ask is that you take some time to consider it before answering. I want to have a baby and I would like for you to donote the sperm. I would be willing to sign any legal document necessary to release you of any all liability if you prefer. Again I understand if you choose not to."
If he says no, let it go and move on.
Just keep in mind that you are still young and have plenty of time, there's no humongous rush. When God feels it's right for you to have a child, things will fall into place. Good luck.
Can't you just go to a sperm bank? Why does one doctor get veto power? Legally speaking, at least in the U.S., the only way to break ties (the baby's legal rights to the dad later) is by an anonymous donor from a sperm bank, so when you talk to your friend, be sure he is warned about this little fact. I have never heard that all doctors will unilaterally turn down a 27-year-old who wants to get pregnant by anonymous donor, unless of course there is something dangerous about her health or mental health. Talk to a sperm bank and see what their procedures are.
ps -- I had a friend who really, really wanted to get pregnant, and she just picked up a guy at a bar and had sex at the right time. (In fact, now that I remember, I used to know someone years ago, who did the same thing.) If for the past 2 years you "have been trying to find a 'Sperm donor' but have had no luck," is there more to the story than just wanting a baby? For example, if you are kind of sort of semi in the back of your mind using this to get closer to the guy, please forget it.
I say just come out straight with that guy but let him know he can say no and you wont hold it against him. But if you do that make sure you DONT hold it against him! I agree that you should ask around to some sperm banks or try another Dr. I know a Dr. might say you are too young, but you are not so young that it is a hasty decision. But do know you have several healthy birthing years ahead of you, so who knows, maybe you will meet the right guy and be able to skip the whole sperm bank stuff. But if that is what you want I would say do some research and ask around!! Also, it is going to be a little awkward of a conversation with your friend no matter what, but if it is what you want just get it over with!
I havent had time yet to ask him atm, but i am planning too very soon, I dont know why i feel so nervous, its not a problem if he says no, i will search some more.. & planning to see my doctor in July, so will speak more with her about everything! I dont know maybe i will meet someone, no one knows! But i do really want to be a single mother, that is my dream, things change though, dont they! :) Thanks again for your help x
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