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Stressful Babysitting?
Im currently 22 weeks pregnant. I babysit for my sister while she works from 6:45 a.m. until 3 p.m. My neice is 2 and my nephew is 3 i also have a 2 year old, my other two children go to school. Well I keep them while she works and when they are here they are constantly crying, fighting with my son, and screamng. They dont listen to me at all no matter how many times i tell them something. But lately I have been having some pains in the bottom of my belly, mostly when i stand up and walk. My husband is getting upset because he thinks its from me stressing to much during the day with the kids. I never had these pains with my other pregnancies..are they normal or is it from the stress?
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The thing is I only charge her 130$ a month, she really cant afford to get day care which is why I offered to help her. But the discipline IS the biggest problem. they have absolutely no guidance. She doesnt understand that. I dont like yelling it makes my head hurt, plus the kids think thats the way to solve problems and its not. Thats what she does and i cant stand it. But ive relaxed so far all day, except i had to take some cupcakes to my daughters school for her birthday today! and my husband told me not to cook because we are going to take her to Chuck-E-Cheese. so thats another bonus. LOl But im really going to have to sit down with her again and if it doesnt work im going to use my OB as an excuse. I dont like lying but this is a white lie so i guess its not that bad!
That's a tough one, truly is! Is there a way to put baby gates up or are the entryways too wide (they're too wide in my house except into the kitchen, for example)? I feel bad for the kids in a way because if what you're saying it absolute truth then their mom needs to be disciplining them. And I don't mean screaming at them, spanking or threatening them. I just mean gentle reproach, redirection, time-outs, consequences (like losing a favorite toy for the day), etc. Bummer!
If this stresses you out you truly don't need it. Round ligament or not you just don't need it. Perhaps she can find another sitter?
If this stresses you out you truly don't need it. Round ligament or not you just don't need it. Perhaps she can find another sitter?
I have tried talking to her about the way she parents them...we are completely different. Im firm with my children, yes i am strict but when i go out in public by myself with all 3 of my kids i can sit down and enjoy a meal because i taught them how to behave. She doesnt. and if i try to talk to her about the way she disciplines them she gets upset like im calling her a bad mom.and that is not what im doing.im just not used to consatnly having to get after a child all day because everytime i turn around theyre doing something theyre not suppose to. Like yesterday my husband is putting tile in our hallway and were putting carpet in the living room. Well i was making the kids lunch and i walk out of the living room for 2 seconds to grab there lunch and hes in the hallway lifting my brandnew tile with a hotwheels car! I talked to my husband when he got home and he text her and told her i was upset and her boyfriend needed to keep the kids today. I went to bed around 7:30 because the pains were getting to me. Im sure it is the round ligament pains but everytime i feel myself getting upset i feel my stomach tighten. Ive never had this happen before but in my other pregnancies i didnt have this going on. I have a dr's appt on the 22nd and i want to talk with him and see what he says when i go. But i want to try talking to her again. Its just hard to discipline a child wether its a light spanking (which i dont do,she does) or time out when the same discipline isnt enforced at home. what good does it do me to teach them all week and when theyre with her on the weekends they get no structure so when they come back im starting all over again.
Thank you both for your advice. It actually made me feel better talking about it.
Thank you both for your advice. It actually made me feel better talking about it.
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The pains you are getting in the bottom of your belly could be from your uterus stretching. Since you've been pregnant before your uterus thins out & is more sensitive to the aches & pains of pregnancy. Your ligaments in your stomach are loser as well so they won't support the added weight of the baby as well as they would have your 1st or 2nd pregnancy.
You could be under stress from the babysitting as well though. The kids are all VERY young & around the ages that prove to be difficult. I would try explaining to their mother that you love being able to help her, but you've found that they don't listen, are causing constant issues with your child & it's causing you un-needed stress. You should sit down with her & ask what she does at home for when they behave that way & try doing it in your home while you have them. They need to know that acting that way is not ok, but you won't be able to do it alone. They are young & their mother needs to help you make a plan on how to handle it. IF she doesn't help you or it doesn't get any better after talking with her then you may need to tell her that you can no longer look after her children as it's causing you to stress & your OB is worried about the risk of pre-term labor. She has no way of proving you wrong there :-) BUT definitely try everything else 1st because it is your sister & you don't want to cause a rift between families.
Good luck & congrats on your pregnancy. Be sure to update after you try talking to her.
Melissa