Ughhh , rant . Advice ?

[MorganElizabeth18]

So , my boyfriend recently went back to school full time so he had to quit his job and find something part time which wouldn't allow us to live on our own . He was living with his mom && I moved in with him when I turned 18 . When I found out I was pregnant we decided we couldnt stay there since his mom is an alcoholic . His dad offered us the remaining two rooms in his house . One for us , one for baby . Well I just found out that he's giving the babys room to his heroin addict niece && she'll be here for a year till she completes her probation . Im pissed because he gave us that room && I already have the babys crib && furniture in there . Hes making me feel like our baby isn't important since it meant nothing to him to just offer it to someone else . Our last option is to move into my moms basement which would be great but theres only one room so we'd just be picking a corner to decorate && push the crib against , I want my baby to have a ROOM not a wall . My boyfriend finishes school in July . Getting our own place isnt happening till at least Christmas . Any advice ?

[MorganElizabeth18]

Oh no no ! Im so happy hes in school ! Im the one who convinced him (:  im so proud of him . But thank you !

[Ohbebebaby]

When you initially started your rant, you were upset that your Boyfriend quit his job to go to school Full-time. I'm a recent University Graduate and if he has just decided to start going Full-time he won't be done or ready to Graduate from another year maybe 2.

I think you should probably focus on this part of your life and determine what your next steps are together as a couple. If he's taking more than 4 classes at a time can be extremely stressful.

You might not be living in your ideal environment, but I'm sure he is more embarrassed by his Family and their bad habits. Try not to make him feel insecure about the series of unfortunate events. Being a "Girlfriend" doesn't necessarily make you part of the Family. Neither does being a "Baby Mama".

Someone mentioned picking your battles carefully, which is wonderful advice. If his Father sees that you are there to support his son, despite his mother's addiction to Alcohol, it would mean a lot.  Every Father prays tgat tgeir sons will find a wonderful woman, but if you're only complaining,  then you're simply adding to the problem not the solution.

Good luck Sweetie, and try not to complain but show his Father how much you support his son and how proud you are with him continuing his education.

[kelleyrenee]

He took back what he said because he is helping his drug addict niece, I don't see that as a bad thing, you should be a little understanding about that. And it kinda does sound like you're being ungrateful.  Why don't you start putting a little money back and start saving?

[likklehev]

Your welcome I hope that in the end everything turns out I'm sure it will just try not to stress

[MorganElizabeth18]

Thank you for your advice !

[likklehev]

October is such a long time away circumstances could have changed many of times by then and his niece should be completely off of the drugs by then dont worry about the babies room I know your upset that you have set it up but they wont be using it till quite a while after Christmas which will hopefully give you and your boyfriend time to get your own house. It is stressful living with other people and I find thst since me and my boyfriends have moved in together in our own house we have bonded so much and become so close were just waiting for our little princess to arrive now she will be here by the end of this month. The best possible advice I could give you is to move into your own place as soon as you can but make sure you can afford it as it is very expensive that way you can control who is round your child and decide on the rules. Try not to stress and just enjoy your pregnancy and be thankful that you have so many people who care about you enough to help

[MorganElizabeth18]

Im due in October and I dont really feel comfortable with my baby being around a recovering addict , thats why me and my bf decided we couldn't stay at his moms since she drinks a lot . His dad has always known his niece was on drugs . Shes been doing them since her teens . Im happy he wants to help her but I just dont see the fairness in all this when his niece has several other places to go that are healthy and loving environments but shes choosing his house because its closer to town (where she can get drugs easily) and I've worked so hard on that room getting it baby ready . I like the playroom idea . Thank you ! I have a lot to think about && luckily im not due anytime soon so I have time to see what happens && how things fall into place .

[likklehev]

You have to think hard about what environment you'd like to fetch your child up in your father in laws niece could get very angry and stressed at times through the pressure of quitting her addiction. Your father in law also has a very big heart offering to take everyone in and is trying to do the best by everyone you cant get angry at him for doing so yes it will seem mean that hes taken a room for you but when he offered it to you he may not have known the predicament that his niece was in. When are you due? As you said you will be moving at Christmas. The baby will be better in your room with you for the first 6 months anyways so another room wouldnt be necessary, although if its something you would like you could discuss turning his other granddaughters playroom into a shared playroom and bedroom for your little one seen as though you said she hardly uses it. Would you feel comfortable in your father in laws house on your own whilst your boyfriend is at school? There are lits of things to think about you do need to take knto consideration that your father in law did not intend to be mean in the process of asking his niece to move in she is obviously less fortunate than you are and he is doing a very kind deed it is a big responsibility to take in everyone and hes just trying to do whats best

[Emi10172013]

It's fine for your child to only have a corner of a room they're not going to care and you could have it worse I was homeless from the time I was 4 months pregnant with my second until he was 2 months old my sister let us live with her we had one bedroom which me, my husband, my oldest son, and my newborn shared they didn't care and I was happy that at least my children had a roof over their head even if they just had a corner of the bedroom

[MorganElizabeth18]

Thank you . That means a lot .

[lanestonsmommy]

Honey just overlook these inconsiderate women on here,there are a lot of them..I don't fully understand your ENTIRE situation just like no women on here ever will either..all I can tell you is that you know what's best for you and your baby..I can't tell you what your best bet would be but I do know that I (MY PERSONAL OPINION, for those of you who i know will twist my words) wouldn't want my child in a house with a heroin addict by any means.you not only have to look at the situation but also look at the environment.im sure you will make the right choice:)just keep your head up mama!mesage me if you ever need to talk..I know how hormonal and loud mouthed some of these females can be on here.best of luck dear!:)

[cjdelight]

The first couple months your going to keep your baby in your room anyways.  So by the time it's ready for it's own room maybe you'll have something else worked out.  

[Amandamoutinho2009]

I am sorry you had to go through this.. that ***** and I agree with you ... This is an app to support each other and instead there is a bunch of rude women on here all the time bashing each other about everything. I don't know what you should do but I would just relax and breathe. Put the baby's crib and belonging in your room. Honestly it will be easier that way for now anyways and don't stress. I would be irritated too. Hope things get better and have a good day :)

[lisettetoy]

You're in no position to get picky on what you get especially if it's handed to you. I know because i have no parents so the dad barely even let me stay and he said we can stay as long as we need and the room isnt huge but im not complaining. If its really a bother to you get your own place. Your father in law is helping you and he's helping his own family which you shouldnt be judging since hes helping you ...............

[MorganElizabeth18]

Im getting tired of this app . All the women on here are rude . You'd think with us all being pregnant you'd understand where Im coming from instead of calling me ungrateful when each && everyone of you would feel the same way if it happened to you && you spent all that time setting up your babys room just to be told to take it down . I didnt ask for your opinion on ME I asked for your opinion on where I should go . Its a shame .

[asmith21488]

I share a room with my six year old and baby on the way...she only has a corner....is she going to care? No...just relax and do what you feels best

[vargobump]

Im sorry but ur lucky he even gave u a room to live in. Like they said u want ur baby in a crib by u at least the first 6 months to make sure they r okay n u hear em cry at night. I mean it could always b worse n u could live on the streets or wit the alcoholic.  Chose n pick ur battles. Its his fathers house so he can do as he pleases wit his rooms. Sorry ur not getting the answers u would like but I feel u do need to be grateful

[calimommy00]

Does sound like you are being ungrateful. Be happy that u at least have a roof over your head.

[MorganElizabeth18]

I do have a full time job . Thanks . && im not being ungrateful its frustrating that his father is taking back what he already gave us .

[mitch_14]

I would just stay with your parents if you will have a place around Christmas next year it's not a big deal the baby would be to young to even know it doesn't have its own room. Lots of people just keep baby in their rooms anyway for the first while so wouldn't be a big deal as long as you have a safe environment to take baby. Goodluck.

[thirdandlastbaby]

Well I have my daughters crib in our room and it will stay in there until she is at least 6 months. (She is two weeks old today. This is my third and I have learned that it is soooo much easier for them to be in the same room while they are small (and Also a stress reliever because you will worry about sids and everything and if they are in the same room you can just look over at them)

When are you due? Moving on your own close to Christmas is not that far off. If it were me in your situation though I would move into the basement (at least you know there won't be drugs or needles there.) And set everything up that you need. Save up your alls money once he gets decent work and either rent or buy a place. Just make sure you have a dehumidifier in the basement because sometimes even in completely finished basements there can be too much moisture and that can make you and baby sick.

[LadyBeeley]

At least you all still have a place to stay and roof over your head. Maybe be grateful than that rather than upset that it isnt perfect and sprawled out all over a generous mans home. If you really thought it was unreasonable you would tell him point blank and then leave. Sounds like youre upset youre just not getting everything you wanted.

[ravenamaru]

YouCouldAlwaysGetAFullTimeJobIfYou'reThatMotivated....SaveAllOfTheMoneyUntilThrebabyIsHere....KeepBabyInYrRoomForAFewMonthsThenMoveOut!

[MorganElizabeth18]

Also , we've already talked to his dad about how we feel . He disregards us . There's another room she could stay in but his other granddaughter has all her toys in there && she'll be "mad" if she cant have a playroom . SHES NEVER OVER . That's my rant for the day .