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When to prepare what for L&D
I feel like a first time mom, but for a VBAC I am...I just realized yesterday I could potentially only have 10 weeks 5 days left before baby is born...I'd be full term (37 weeks)...I've said from the beginning she'll be here November 30th, 8lbs 6oz 20 inches...that gives me 12 weeks and 3 days remaining, no matter what no more than 13 weeks 5 days left, because I doubt this hospital will let me go past my due date, what I've gotten from my dr so far is that they don't really like late babies, that's ok, but I'm not gonna opt for a c-section just cause I'm past my due date...baby will come when she's good and ready.
ANYWAYS, back on subject...I've been thinking a lot about the labor and delivery part. As some of you may have read I want as natural as I can get, with as little medical intervention as possible with this being my first VBAC. BUT I have no clue what/when to get prepared. I mean, I know hospital bag, things baby will need, things I will need, etc, but the things I don't have a clue on are like...
-When should I call my cousin (only family within 10 hours, she's one hour away) and ask her about coming to stay with Elijah?
-How long should I wait when I go into labor to call her to come stay with Elijah?
-When should I start my birth plan
-What should I put in my birth plan?
-Should I have my cousin wait at the hospital with Elijah?
-Should I have her stay at our house with him until the baby is born? (DH would have to escort her on base since she doesn't have a military ID so he'd have to leave and come back)
-Should I bring anything besides a birth plan, in case DH freaks out, or gets overwhelmed, and I'm not in a state of mind to be making decisions, ie if they try to get me to do an unneeded c-section?
Total first time birth syndrome going on, I don't know if it's too early to be worrying about any of this, but I'm not one to just go with the flow most of the time, or "play it by ear". I like to have everything laid out in front of me so I can look at it and say "ok this is now, this is next, that's later". I like having a schedule, and I know the whole L&D part of pregnancy can be completely unpredictable and anything can happen and everything change in a second, but I'd like to be as prepared as possible.
ANYWAYS, back on subject...I've been thinking a lot about the labor and delivery part. As some of you may have read I want as natural as I can get, with as little medical intervention as possible with this being my first VBAC. BUT I have no clue what/when to get prepared. I mean, I know hospital bag, things baby will need, things I will need, etc, but the things I don't have a clue on are like...
-When should I call my cousin (only family within 10 hours, she's one hour away) and ask her about coming to stay with Elijah?
-How long should I wait when I go into labor to call her to come stay with Elijah?
-When should I start my birth plan
-What should I put in my birth plan?
-Should I have my cousin wait at the hospital with Elijah?
-Should I have her stay at our house with him until the baby is born? (DH would have to escort her on base since she doesn't have a military ID so he'd have to leave and come back)
-Should I bring anything besides a birth plan, in case DH freaks out, or gets overwhelmed, and I'm not in a state of mind to be making decisions, ie if they try to get me to do an unneeded c-section?
Total first time birth syndrome going on, I don't know if it's too early to be worrying about any of this, but I'm not one to just go with the flow most of the time, or "play it by ear". I like to have everything laid out in front of me so I can look at it and say "ok this is now, this is next, that's later". I like having a schedule, and I know the whole L&D part of pregnancy can be completely unpredictable and anything can happen and everything change in a second, but I'd like to be as prepared as possible.
I found a great birth plan through an application on my iPhone called Pregnancy Companion. They may have a website you can check out. If not look online maybe search birth plan and see if you can find a generic birth plan. This one listed everything from medications, inductions, water birth, natural, who you want there in L&D, cord blood banking, if it's a boy if you want circumcision and even if there are any vaccines you want to decline. Also info about pacifers breastfeeding skin to skin contact and so on.
I'd call your cousin now and just make sure that she's all lined up for watching Elijah when you go into the hospital, no matter when or what time of day. Ensure that you have all possible means of contact for her, just in case. I had a vaginal birth with Daniel, but I was most worried about who would be looking after him when I had to go to the hospital, so I'm totally with you on that one - the first time, you just don't have that worry. We also don't have family in town - like you, our closest family is an hour away. We asked DH's parents (who live the hour away) if they could come and watch Daniel when I went in but also had a couple of back up options in town just in case....particularly because I was due in January and we were concerned about a freak snow storm blowing up, we figured that was necessary in case the highway was treacherous or something. I'd recommend you try to find a back up person in town as well, if you can: you never know just how quickly things may progress and it wouldn't be ideal to have to bring Elijah to the hospital with you if you had to move fast.
I didn't have a birth plan either time....I just went in with a very open mind, a "wait and see how things go" kind of attitude, I guess. I was induced both times at 41 weeks, though - I'm not sure if that makes a difference....or it it's just my way of thinking. Basically, I just told the nurses what my wishes were (which boiled down to being open to having intervention for pain if necessary and wanting DH to cut the cord) upon arrival. Overall, I was really happy with both of my birth experiences. I guess you could say that my birth plan was "do whatever needs to be done to get the baby out safely".....I really didn't go in with any expectations.
I didn't have a birth plan either time....I just went in with a very open mind, a "wait and see how things go" kind of attitude, I guess. I was induced both times at 41 weeks, though - I'm not sure if that makes a difference....or it it's just my way of thinking. Basically, I just told the nurses what my wishes were (which boiled down to being open to having intervention for pain if necessary and wanting DH to cut the cord) upon arrival. Overall, I was really happy with both of my birth experiences. I guess you could say that my birth plan was "do whatever needs to be done to get the baby out safely".....I really didn't go in with any expectations.
Ok...three things:
1. It would take at least an hour to go back and pick up Elijah and my cousin after baby is born, because it's about a 25 minute drive one way. AND I don't know what time of day I'll go into labor, how long it will take, or what time she'll be born, and if it's night time or something like that Elijah's not gonna have any entertainment other than toys/will probably be super cranky if it's night time and he needs sleep.
2. I don't know if they will induce me since I'm having a VBAC, I'll ask at my next appointment, along with bringing some of these questions up with the dr.
3. I don't have a living will, I meant more along the lines of what if Josh passes out and the dr says "baby needs to come out now" when baby's really ok to stay in and I'm ok to continue labor, and wants to do a c-section...or if Josh happens to be out of the room...and the dr brings up something NOT covered in my birth plan.
I don't even know where to begin with the birth plan, I mean I don't even know what format to use...should I just put "BIRTH PLAN" at the top and list what I want and then list what I don't want?
SHEESH! I thought getting pregnant, planning BD nights around an irregular AF, and calculating ovulation where complicated!
1. It would take at least an hour to go back and pick up Elijah and my cousin after baby is born, because it's about a 25 minute drive one way. AND I don't know what time of day I'll go into labor, how long it will take, or what time she'll be born, and if it's night time or something like that Elijah's not gonna have any entertainment other than toys/will probably be super cranky if it's night time and he needs sleep.
2. I don't know if they will induce me since I'm having a VBAC, I'll ask at my next appointment, along with bringing some of these questions up with the dr.
3. I don't have a living will, I meant more along the lines of what if Josh passes out and the dr says "baby needs to come out now" when baby's really ok to stay in and I'm ok to continue labor, and wants to do a c-section...or if Josh happens to be out of the room...and the dr brings up something NOT covered in my birth plan.
I don't even know where to begin with the birth plan, I mean I don't even know what format to use...should I just put "BIRTH PLAN" at the top and list what I want and then list what I don't want?
SHEESH! I thought getting pregnant, planning BD nights around an irregular AF, and calculating ovulation where complicated!
- call 'Cuz now...just to make sure your ducks are in a row
-as soon as you're admitted to the hospital I would call...since this is #2 you will most likely have him within the day of being admitted.
- start working on your birth plan now
-include whether or not you would accept an episiotomy..under what conditions you will accept getting a c-section, what sort of pain relief options you are open to, who you want present, who will be able to call the shots for you if you become incapacitated, what sort of special things you want after delivery (i.e. delayed cord clamping, immediate skin-to-skin)...include whether or not you want to breastfeed immediately.
-we had Kahlan stay at home with my dad until Grey was born....as soon as I started pushing we called him to bring Kahlan and of course Grey was born so quickly that she didn't arrive until well after the birth and I was already able to move when the epidural had worn off (about 45 minutes after we called is when she got there...and I was already almost half an hour post-partum lol). so that's what I would recommend...right before you start pushing just have cousin head over with Elijah.
-how long would it take Josh to leave and come back if he had to escort her? I think it would be beneficial to have her stay on the base so that Josh doesn't have to leave as soon as the baby's born to go escort her onto the base with Elijah...but it's up to you.
you may want to go ahead and schedule a 40wk induction. I don't normally say that people should schedule elective inductions, but in your case with no family or friends nearby who can take the toddler....that may not be a bad plan for you...you might want to consider it.
and as for your last question..do you have a living will? it designates who can make medical decisions for you in case you are incapacitated. you can list Josh, and you can also list someone else in case he feels incapable and needs to pass the buck....a family member who you put on call wouldn't be a bad idea or a friend!! (hint hint hehe)...someone you call as labor starts so that if they need to get in contact the phone is on and ready to be answered with your wishes.
-as soon as you're admitted to the hospital I would call...since this is #2 you will most likely have him within the day of being admitted.
- start working on your birth plan now
-include whether or not you would accept an episiotomy..under what conditions you will accept getting a c-section, what sort of pain relief options you are open to, who you want present, who will be able to call the shots for you if you become incapacitated, what sort of special things you want after delivery (i.e. delayed cord clamping, immediate skin-to-skin)...include whether or not you want to breastfeed immediately.
-we had Kahlan stay at home with my dad until Grey was born....as soon as I started pushing we called him to bring Kahlan and of course Grey was born so quickly that she didn't arrive until well after the birth and I was already able to move when the epidural had worn off (about 45 minutes after we called is when she got there...and I was already almost half an hour post-partum lol). so that's what I would recommend...right before you start pushing just have cousin head over with Elijah.
-how long would it take Josh to leave and come back if he had to escort her? I think it would be beneficial to have her stay on the base so that Josh doesn't have to leave as soon as the baby's born to go escort her onto the base with Elijah...but it's up to you.
you may want to go ahead and schedule a 40wk induction. I don't normally say that people should schedule elective inductions, but in your case with no family or friends nearby who can take the toddler....that may not be a bad plan for you...you might want to consider it.
and as for your last question..do you have a living will? it designates who can make medical decisions for you in case you are incapacitated. you can list Josh, and you can also list someone else in case he feels incapable and needs to pass the buck....a family member who you put on call wouldn't be a bad idea or a friend!! (hint hint hehe)...someone you call as labor starts so that if they need to get in contact the phone is on and ready to be answered with your wishes.
For the birth plan I know I need to tell them if I do/don't want meds, and what ones I want, but I'm sure it needs to be a little more detailed, and in depth than just what meds I want/don't want. And I'm not sure if when I arrive, since I'll be in labor, that I'll be able to think clearly enough to tell them, which is why I want to write one out before then.
Since every labor and delivery are different, it's hard to say when to call your cousin. It may be better to plan out that when it gets a little closer to your due date. As a side note - do you have a neighbor that would be willing to help watch him until she is able to get there?
For your birth plan you need to let you dr know and the nurses know once you arrive, what you expect for delivery. Like do you plan to do it all natural, no meds, little meds or an epidural?
For your son, I would have them wait at home where he is comfortable, even if your husband has to leave to go and get them. It might be a long Labor or very short. You just don't know and trust me he will be happier kid in his own space.
I hope this helps a little bit. With all of my deliveries, I've had 3, I have thought these same things. Like who, when, where, :) It'll all be ok and then you'll think to yourself why did I worry about all this.
Good luck with your plans and labor!
For your birth plan you need to let you dr know and the nurses know once you arrive, what you expect for delivery. Like do you plan to do it all natural, no meds, little meds or an epidural?
For your son, I would have them wait at home where he is comfortable, even if your husband has to leave to go and get them. It might be a long Labor or very short. You just don't know and trust me he will be happier kid in his own space.
I hope this helps a little bit. With all of my deliveries, I've had 3, I have thought these same things. Like who, when, where, :) It'll all be ok and then you'll think to yourself why did I worry about all this.
Good luck with your plans and labor!
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