Who prefers their babies closer together?

[martikadragoon]

OK, so DH basically agreed, even joking and talking tonight about having to wear 2 babypacks instead of one (the kind on your back and front)

I wanna know, do you prefer them closer or spaced out.

DO NOT EVEN CONSIDER THE ISSUES/STRESS WITH TJ.... I'm not.

Here's my reasoning:
I'd prefer to have 2 in diapers rather than 1 in preschool and 1 in diapers that way both would start preschool around the same time so I'd have the day FREE to myself!!!

by the time the next one is born our income will have increased some (by about $8000 or so yr.) My mom is upset with  me because for some reason she says I'm trying to replace TJ which ISNT true. he's still here and I believe he's gonna stay here!

Also, my bro and I are 17 mo apart and were SUPER close as kids/early teens. I want that for my babies, at least my first two. AND my dr. said I have to have 2 babies in order to get my copper IUD. which I plan on having in for at least 3 yrs. this next baby and TJ would be approx. 13-17mo apart or so. depending on how long it takes.

I think that it may take longer for me to get preggo simply because my cycle isn't reliable now that TJ's been born. I'm always off by a couple days. and We are NOT JUST TRYING, WE ARE ONLY NOT PREVENTING.

thanks!

Thanks for the info!

[martikadragoon]

Thanks ladies! DH is kind of making me crazy... he's a seesaw! seriously. Today I asked him yet again, just to be sure (because my mom was trying to fight with me about it and we LIVE Together so that don't help... we knew this when we got into this situation)

She keeps saying my body isn't recovered from TJ...etc.etc.. But I feel it is.

Anywayse, DH tells me today "you promised me year of the tiger not year of the rabbit (2009 is rabbit) TJ is mouse/rat"..... and said he would like to wait a few more months and go for a winter pregnancy... he also PROMISED To actively try when it comes time.....

So now I don't know... I think what we'll do is maybe not prevent 1/2 the month and then continue using the foam... even odds. lol.

I hated being preggo in summer but If I get pregnant when the plan is (june/july) then my babies will be nearly 2 yrs apart.... sure, that'd be nice....and it was the plan along time ago but my plan changed.... I'll talk to DH more about this later, I just DON"T want him to feel pressured into it at all.  because I know that can kill a relationship.

[kazwel]

Hi,  I agree with  you,  i would rather have the kids born close together, Sarah is 10 weeks old and we have been actively ttc for a few weeks now. I'd rather get all the craziness done with than wait a few years and start it all over again!!  
My DF and I both agreed that even though it will be a strain it is compeletly worth it


Kazwel

[ashiepooh]

well my first two are 10 months and 3 weeks apart.  They are so close, they love each other, hold hands, give kisses and do everything together.  They rarely fight.  If they do it's usually over who gets to sit on what side of mommies lap!  Or daddies!  And this one will be 20 or 21 months apart from my son!  

If you and hubby both agree, it's what you want, then do it!  Your mom can't tell you what to do, or that your trying to replace TJ!  Has she ever sat down and thought about how happy it would make TJ to have a baby brother or sister that was close in age to him?  DO WHAT MAKES YOU GUYS HAPPY!!!!

[clairelou88]

Whitneylauren i definatly agree :)



  



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[Whitneylauren]

All of my children will be 3-4 years old before we try for another baby. I don't have a major problem with changing two butts, but I think it is essential for children to have one on one time with a parent before a new one is here. Plus I want to give my body time to recover from each pregnancy. My son will be 4 on Friday and we are expecting our second in March.....

[KM604]

I don't want my children to be more than 3 years apart, because my sister and I are 4 1/2 years apart and we grew apart as we got older (mainly because she was going through her "I hate my family" phase when I was just learning to appreciate my family).  We are still close, but I think it would be nice for my kids to go to school together too (I was only in elementary school for one year with my sister).  DH and his siblings are all 3 years apart and really close.  BUT, then again, I say this now w/o having my first even born, so I guess it's just one of those things if you and DH think it's the right thing to do, then go for it.

[kennedydp5]

mine are all pretty close (4 babies in 5 years) and i do LOVE it but its also not always a piece of cake!  of course i know you won't have 4, lol.  right now riley and michaela sort of fight for attention sometimes even though they all get the same love and attention...  

i voted to let God's will be done... but even if you actively ttc or just don't prevent God's will is still going to be in place for you.  best of luck!  (and a hug and prayer for tj, too!  :)

[evthing4reason]

I didn't vote because i don't have any babies yet. BUT my 2 best friends (they are sisters) just had thier seconds.
One has them 3 years apart, One has them 2 years apart. First one is saying how much she is enjoying the baby and all the little special moments, second one is saying she doesnt have time to enjoy the baby because of the 2 year old is still so much work and needs so much attention.

[clairelou88]

i want mine spaced out thats what i have voted for :) i want to have the first child at least going into school (4yrs old over here) or maybe being pregnantjust before my first goes into school, if you get what i mean :) i feel like iwant to enjoy the first child for aslong as i can without having another child there within the first year or 2years of its life, so all my attention would be on that child and when it goes to school i can have time for another child, if that makes sense?? lol

[Super_sally888]

Hi,

I am planning to have my babies as close together as my body will let me.  But then I am 38 now and 32 weeks with my first.  I hope to be pregnant with my second within a year after my first (due in Feb).

Honey,  you don't need to listen to anyone but your heart and your DH about having another baby.  You obviously really really want this.  Just let it happen.

[martikadragoon]

I wanted to add. My mom thinks I pressured DH into it. I DIDN"T I just gave him my reasoning and asked him clearly.  His only concern was the stress on me, and I told him I wasn't worried about it. honest.

DH can be a pushover sometimes, but I did NOT pressure him at any time and also told him if he wants to prevent to tell me in the next 3 days so I know to before it gets too close to ovulation time.