Just curious...I'd kind of only like it to be dh and I but I know that would break my mother's heart...AND I know my grandmother has already asked if she can come too...I'm fairly modest and the idea of anyone other than dh and the doctor seeing below my waist or whatever kind of weirds me out. How do you all feel about this? Who did you have with you?
Yup, DH was the only one with me. I agree that it's all a little too personal for me. Thankfully my mom never made an issue about being in the room. She waited patiently outside with other family members until after delivery. :) If being alone is something truly important to you...you need to find a way to gently express that to your mom. :)
But I do have atleast 10 nurses, my doctor, the pediatrician along with high risk pediatricians in my room since my babies come early!
However let me tell you a story..omg...
Okay, I had told my hubby from day 1 with my daughter, well when we found out I was prego! I am not the kind of person who flashes my vajaja LOL around to people i'm not married to nor are medically proven to have a reason to be looking there... And you know my first labor kind of came and went pretty dang quick. WELL his stupid mom decided she needed to try and be in the room, LMAO LUCKILY I had my daughter before she got there...And with my son we didn't tell her I was in labor, because I didn't want her there, and she got pissed when he sent a picture after my son was born, saying he's born! LMAO
We had to get my doctor to make a lie up to her, as to why I was even in the hospital...ahaha...
But with her oldest daughter, my DH's older of his younger sisters, she marched Herself, her mom (their grandma), his 7 aunts, 3 family friends, and his other sisters in there...And his sister didn't even want them in there staring at her vajaja
So You can tell your doctor you don't want anyone but dh in there, or tell your mom and grandma that if they are in the room, the only way they can be is if their up by your head, behind you, they wont beable to see anything because you'll have a sheet over your legs more than likely!! =)
I'm only haveing DH in the room as well.....It'll be my parents first Grandchild and I asked Mom if it bothered her, b/c if I truly thought that it would upset her, I would let her....But she said that it was our choice.....So it'll just be the 2 of us......My MIL is mad about it, but it's our choice, my pain....LOL....People should understand that it's a private time.
First daughter- just DH and a host of nurses (they kept coming in and out of the room as I was pushing, just watching or waiting for something- maybe to clean up?).
Second daughter- I invited my MIL, in addition to DH, to be there. She prayed while I was in labor and she really really really HELPED DH be an awesome labor coach (he didn't do so good first time around). She coached him to coach me. It was an awesome team. She took pictures once the baby was born!
Honestly you will not care when you're in pain and eager to see your baby. You could always ask that your grandmother and mom stand by your head instead of watch the baby crown. My MIL saw me in all my glory and I never really thought about it until I got pregnant again this time. It made me giggle! She's a woman, too. She knows what is down there.
There was no question about who I was going to have in the room, it was just a given. I had my Mom, my sister and Noah's dad in the room with me. I wouldn't have felt comfortable without all of them. Joe hasn't been through labor and my Mom and sister have, I was there for my sister's delivery too. I am also modest but when it comes to them I am ok with them seeing me nakey.
I plan to have all of them in the room with me again this time around.
I only wanted my ex in the room and my mom because I'm a really private person. Even physical examines make me feel weird. Well when the big day came it suddenly became a party in my room... my sisters drove down 2 hours to met us at the hospital and ended up staying... then my dad came and when it came time to actually get down to business he left the room... but as soon as Aspen cried he came rushing in even though I was still all spread out. Kinda awkward. Also, my ex invited his sister-in-law who also does my hair which was weird because I barely even knew her... and she was the one that top MY camera and took pictures of Aspen coming out. REALLY awkward. Yeah but by the time everyone was in the room and everything was happening I didn't care anymore i just wanted Aspen out. Now it has made me closer to all those people since they were there to experience it with me. Even the sister in law.
My mom has made comments about wanting to be in the room when I have kids and I don't know how to tell her heck NO! I'm worried my fiance's mom is going to want to also. I can't stand that and I will get out of bed and lock my own door if I have to just to keep them out. I know my mom will me upset when it comes time for me to have kids but I honestly don't really think she has a reason to be mad... my babies and my husband... my choice. It just makes me mad when others think they have a "right" to be in there. Daddy is the only one who may even come close to having that "right" lol.
I had dh and my sister and my 16yr old step daughter as well but i sent them out until i had the epi cause i didn't want my stepdaughter and sister seeing me in so much pain but they were all staring down there when i was pushing, but i also had, the midwife a trainee ob/gyn and a paramedic who was interested in doing a midwifery course. but by the end i didn't care who was in the room with me.
when i had my son i had my mum and dad in with me which was great
with my daughter i had my fiancee and my mum in with my because it was my fiancees first child so i wnted someone with my who new what to do thats y i asked my mum
and when i have my son who is due in april i will have my fiancee and my little sister she is wanting to bacome a midwife so i thought it would be a good idea to let her see what goes on so she can make the right decision with here career
i dont mind whose in with my and who sees my bits lol because at the end of the day no one really cares what your bits look like just get the baby out lol
Hmmm...I'm glad that I'm not the only one who wants this to be a 'private' matter...I'll have to start feeling my mom out about this more and more...I already kind of mentioned to my grandmother that I wasn't sure I wanted anyone in the room other than DH...I'm not concerned about him needing another person to help him out...AND I'd rather him up by me than seeing the baby crown...I don't even want pictures of that lol There will be no shots below the waist!
DH would have passed out....while i was in labor he was nervous, shaking all over, and dry heaving....i would have hated for him to pass out on me so i told him he could sit in the waiting room. my mom, sister, and sil were with me! i felt a little weird, but i was in the room with my mom just 9 1/2 months earlier when she gave birth to my lil bro, so it wasn't really that bad!
I didn't read all of the responses, but only DH for me. Now, they will allow anyone you want in there up until you start pushing, so it's not like your mom couldn't be there for all of the labor "stuff". But she could just leave for the actual pushing. For me, that is just something for only DH and I to share. With one of my kids, I did invite my mom for the ultrasound though to try to share the experience with her. But she would be allowed in there almost the entire time. They will only ask people to leave when they are checking your dialation progress. Once the baby is born, they will clean you both up and then they can come back in the room and hold the baby, etc. So, she would really only miss the actual birth but she could be there for everything else.
It's kind of personal for me and you will share every other milestone of your kids with others, such as birthdays, holidays, etc. This is the only thing that would be for just the 2 of you and I am modest too. Always have been. I wouldn't let my mom see me without a shirt on from the age of like 9 :)
huh, this is kind of surprising to me. Not only did I have mom, sister and DB in the room with me they all saw Noah crowning, saw my episiotomy (except DB he was by my head for that) and they all saw him come out.
I never would have thought to deny my mom seeing her grandchild being born and my sister wanted to be there and I wanted her there too.
I want my df(or dh lol) and my mom in the room whenever I give birth! My mom has been there for many births throughout the family. She was there for 3 of her sister's kids, and two of my cousin's births. I know that df wouldnt know what to do! So having her in there will help me and him out lol. I know she'd want to be there and honestly..when I give birth I think all I would care about is getting the baby out lol! Not whose looking at my whoohoo...but she's a big comfort most of the time to me..I can imagine myself screaming I want my momma! hah
w/ our first i told dh i wanted him and my mom in there. he didn't want her in there (not b/c he didn't like her... just b/c he wanted just us 2 in there). but i didn't have to make that decision b/c i had to have an emergency c-section so dh was the only one allowed anyways! and the next 3 were scheduled and so dh has always been the only one w/ me!
I had the dad and my mom in for my first and this time the df and my mom will come in!! I got mad at my mom when she looked at the babys head coming out!! I dont think shell look thius time....i was in soo much pain and i kinda yelled at her for her to stop looking!! HAHA
OMG sweetangel7 I am so there with you on that one!! I was like hmmm who should be in there with me I know for a fact that I want DB in there and my mom but I was even skeptical about my mom seeing down there. I mean I still am to be honest!! LOL
I definitely would like my privacy, I'd probably want just my dh there. I'm sure my MIL who's a nurse will want to be in there too and maybe my dad and stepmom because my mom can't handle it! I don't know how I would get them out of the room, I might just let them stay.
My dh says that he'll stay by my head cause he can't watch the baby crowning, he said he'd be traumatized.
I've expressed my feelings with my mother and mother-in-law, that I just want it to be me and DH. And they are both okay with that. Also, the nurses will help enforce whatever you want. That's their jobs and they did that for my brother and sister-in-law. Her mother kept trying to come in and they did not want her there and the nurses put their foot down and took care of it.
With my daughter I had my mother and my sister in the room with me, the two closest people to me and did not regret it one second....A whole football team could have been in there when i was pushing and I would NOT have cared LOL you just want the little one OUT and you really dont care who is in there.....When it really comes down to it, there really not thinking OHHHH look I am staring at my daughter's WHO HA.... there witnessing a special special thing and that is probably the last thought on their mind
With my son (due in March) I will have DH in there, my mom and my sis.... havent really decided weather I want my MIL in there or FIL.... now that would be kinda weird LOL
Justice-I completely agree with you. When you are pushing that baby out no one is thinking about the fact that they are looking at your vagina, they are watching a miracle happen, they are witnessing a your babies birth. Actually I am a little jealous that I didn't get to see Noah crown but I think if I would have asked for the mirror that was in the room I probably would have stopped pushing.
Well all along I had planned to just have my hubby in the room. Then my mom askedm e if she could be in the room. Being a private person, I didnt like this idea at all!!
My sister in law had a baby 1 month ago and both her and her hubby said have another person in the room as a labour coach. I thought about that and spoke to her and my mother in law who was her other labour coach and explained how my mom had asked. However I dont feel my mom asked as a labour coach I think she just wants to watch. I then talked to my mother in law and said I cant see my mom being a very good labour coach, she has never been very maternal or sensitive. As a child my dad was always the one to soothe me when sick and so forth. My mom hates the site of blood! she passed out when I was little from me bleeding! So mil suggested I speak to her and tell her this, she 100% agreed and will not be "watching" I havent fully decided yet, mostly b/c of being private but if we have one other person it will be my mother in law. My sister in law she said she was amazing and really helped keep both her and her husband calm.And I have come to realize a few things, while in labour I probably wont care who sees me and my mother in law has given birth twice and coached onece already so she probably knows what she is doing!
Well it sounds like the general consensus is "to each his own". Some people only want this experience with their significant other, and others don't mind other people being in the room.
My advice is just to do whatever feels right and comfortable to you. It is you and your husband's baby, so it is a decision that should be and can only by made by the two of you. Whatever you decide, others will just have to respect it and understand.
Well, I like the idea of having my mom around for the hours of laboring BUT the actual delivery/pushing, I'd really prefer to have dh only...I never thought of this as an option until I read it above, so I am glad that I posted this question...One other reason that I don't want my mom in the room (this sounds bad/mean...I love her dearly and I know I am her world) is because she is soooo emotional about things...I know she'll be crying and cooing and sometimes that makes things worse for me...maybe I'm weird but I don't like seeing her all emotional...I'm sure she'll do this anyways but at least it will be when the baby is HERE rather than coming out etc.
Thanks for sharing! I read everyone's experience and enjoyed them all!
Sweetangle7 ~ Maybe promise her, that as soon as baby is cleaned off and ready for everyone to come in she can be the first person other than you and hubby to hold the baby!! Sometimes, labors are quick, unexpected, others are long and well everyone is different! Plus I think she'd likely be just as emotional when just holding the baby!! =) hehe
But it is your option, your birth, and your experience! Enjoy!
It's completely understandable to feel that way. It is very uncomfortable for someone other than dh to be looking down there. With my first daughter I had my best friend there. I didn't have the father of the child around and my mother couldn't make it. It was my first child and I was really scared and didn't want to be alone. She was there for me my whole life, it was a little uncomfortable at first.....but once them bad contractions came.....I didn't even know that she was there. With my second daughter, dh was there and so was his mom. Now that was something that was really uncomfortable. But I don't know the only people that I would let in there with me is dh, my mother, his mother or my best friend. Everyone else I'd be way too uncomfortable. But I can understand what you mean. That's alot of stuff your body is going to go through down there and trust me.....I still wonder to this day what dh's mother was thinking that day. lol good luck and honestly the most important thing that matters, is if dh is there that's the one thing that matters the most.
DH and my mom. Only because I am adopted, my mom lost a baby and almost died herself at 6 months, then i lst a baby at 19 weeks. So she only has bad memories of a delivery so she has asked to come, she also came to our last u/s (i asked her not to come tomorrow). DH and I are kinda private people, but i'm glad she will be there because he is no good when I am in pain, he's just lost. I will not let him see the baby crowning, he'll be up at my head.
My ex (baby's Father) and I will be the only ones in the room (and mandatory medical staff, obviously.. I have asked they pick 1-2 nurses b/c I dont care to have a plethora of strangers in and out staring at me.. they can accomodate that here b/c L& D is soo small! Thank goodness!). My Mom and sister were quite offended but I honestly don't care. It is MY decision and I am not into the idea of my family seeing my adult vagina.. No thanks.. =)
I guess my family is very different than others. It will be DH, my mom and 3 sisters in the room with me. I have been there for all their deliveries except for my 15 year old sister who has no kids and I love it. I love the experience of being their for them, and all of us greeting the new little ones into the world. There is so much support with having all og them in there as well. Between my mom and 2 older sisters they have 14 kids. My baby makes number 15. That's a lot of experience and support~
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