abortion or keep baby

[hnicole6]

Hello, I am about 10.5 weeks pregnant and I am highly debating whether to keep the baby or abort. I could not give me baby up for adoption and know someone else is raising my child so abortion and raising the baby are my two optionas. I am 20 yrs old and have been with my bf for almost 4 yrs.  I am scared to lose my youth and be tied down but I don't know if I could live with myself if I got rid of it. My bf says its my decision and is not much help in deciding....help! Any suggestions? ??

[Emily_MHManager]

Hi everyone -

Let's leave the judgmental statements out of this.  She is asking for support, not statements about murder, etc.

Everyone is absolutely entitled to their own beliefs about abortion, but let's remember that we are first and foremost, a support site.

Thanks,

Emily

[rmmoye]

It sounds to me like you want your little one. I am proud of u for watching the video and at least knowing what it entails before u decide.  I can tell u it is never too late so dont rush things for that reason.  If u hit 5 months pregnant or the baby is 5 months old and u decide u just cant do this then there are adoption agencies that let u read the parents profiles, see pictures, family events, even meet them before u decide. U can also do what is called an open adoption where u see the child and visit it. there are many people out there open to this.  You are called the tummy mommy.  I am telling u this because i wanted u to know that adoption has several options now.

WE have two adopted little boys and they are loved more any thing!!! Our familys just embraced them.  I could not imagine my life without them. they are our worlds!!! I loved them as though i birth them myself!!!

I hope this helps. I cant wait to hear how u feel after u get to see your little ones heart beat for the first time. It is  a very special thing!!!!

[Mommy__2__be]

I'm 18 and I am pretty ready for my lil one. We both have good jobs and live on our own. I say unless u are not financially stable to have ur child then that would be a reason to abort or adopt. I think that this would be a good experience for u u never know if god will bless u with another one in the future. If u go thru with raising this child one day u will look back and think what would I do without em. And if u wanna still live ur young life their are always babysitters

[Heatherm4]

Awww, Stacey, you made me tear up! It's totally true!
By the sounds of it hnicole6, you want this baby. And to me it seems like it was something that was meant to be. That baby wasn't supposed to be around because you were taking precautions but somehow, here it is!
Things happen to us for a reason and they might change our plans around completely but they are usually for the best or better.
No one is ever really ready to have a baby, financially or emotionally but when it happens, they do everything in their power to take care of that baby and can never see life without them!

[hnicole6]

To all: I don't know why I did this but I watched an abortion video on youtube and balled my eyes out.it was the most horrible thing id watched ever.

[mmiller159]

I'm 18 years having my first baby. I never once questioned adoption or abortion. But I understand where you are coming from because I have questioned myself asking if I'm ready for this, if my boyfriend is ready for this also. I've came to the conclusion that my youth isn't going to be taken away from me, now its time to open up my options to other things ill be able to do on the weekends besides party. The zoo, a kids movie, a museum, football practice. I'm 21 weeks pregnant and already feel this mad love for the baby growing inside. I find out tomorrow if I'm having a boy or a girl. Idk what the gender is and i already would give my own life for my child. Every kick, every move, hearing the heartbeat, seeing baby on an ultrasound is worth everything i may have to give up. Having a baby isn't easy, but I believe its worth it. I've always said if I believe I'm ready for sex I should also prepare myself for a baby, especially if I'm not being protective. You'll do what's right for you and your baby. Is look more into adoption, maybe you'll find its not as bad as it seems. Good luck!

[hnicole6]

What website was everyone talking about? I have an appt on the 23rd but I hate waiting that long for an ultrasound I really want to try and get one now so that I can see how far along I am and if its too late to decide or not.and I am leaning towards keeping it, but I just freak myself out thinking that ill be stuck ahh this is so hard .I hope I never have to make this decision again because I never planned on this happening because I was on the pill and took it everyday like I was supposed to...

[hansen20]

im 20 years old too=) im currently 14w2d and already have 2 kids a 3year old and a 18 month old. when i first got pregnant i felt like you did, i didnt want someone else raising my child and i didnt want to abort my baby not only that but when i found out i was pregnant i was 10 weeks along already and when i had my ultrasound i just knew i could not give up on my baby so i did keep him. i also known girls who got abortions and they all regret having them a month or so after having it and they got depressed for it. if he tells you its your choice then keep the baby. to me it sounds like he will be with you no matter what your choice is but thats what it sounds like to me. i know alot of young mothers where i live and they kept their babies too and even though it migh be hard its so worth having a child. you can still have fun if you can find a baby sitter that could baby sit for you hun. i think you would be a great mom because it does sound like you care alot so my suggestion is dont abort your baby keep it, i just know you will be a great mother=).

[Emily_MHManager]

Hi everyone -

Please remember this is a support site, and if your personal feelings about abortion render you incapable of offering support, then it's probably better for you to not respond at all to abortion questions. This is obviously a hard time for hnicole6, and we are here to help her, not hurt her.

Emily

[loumat09]

My experience, me and my partner had only been together 6 months, I was on the pill, we didn't live together etc, then we found out I was pregnant by 7 weeks, we were so shocked, we had q chat and decided that we couldn't bring a baby into the world at that point, I had an abortion at 9 weeks. That is the worst and most biggest mistake we made and theres not q day goes by when I don't think about it, I hate myself for it, me and my partner got through it but it made me depressed for q very long time, we have been together for nearly 3 yrs now and. We starting trying for a baby in may last year and here we are expecting a baby girl in 8 days, we are so excited, please don't make the mistake we made I know it's ur decision but its a very traumatic and horrible thing to go through, ul make a lovely mummy and daddy, just think it may never happen again

[Aliciaexpectingtwins]

Please have your little angel. I'm 23 and I'm currently 13 weeks pregnant with twins!! I was in the same position you was in when I first found out I was pregnant. It made me so depressed. I made an appointment to have an abortion but I didn't go. Instead I made a prenatal appointment and when I found out I was not only carrying one but two I was so scared but happy and relieved that I've decided not to abort. You won't be tired down of you do decided to have tired baby. You're still young and have time to go back to school go out with friends whatever it is you want to do while caring and loving your bundle of joy. Good luck .. You'll be a great mom :-)

[amy8702]

Wow, please don't go to that website. A post like that is uncalled for.

[chelseaneddie]

Do not go to that sight and it is definitely out of line.

[Stacey91]

DO NOT even go onto that site... that is completley uncalled for like.. im pretty sure she wont want to look at pictures of fetus's. if she would shed do it herself

[Mommyhodge1988]

I had an abortion when i was 17 i do regret it it was the worst experience of my life, a year after my abortion i fell pregnant with my first daughter she was the best thing to ever happen to my life she made me grow into a mature woman and now i have 3 children and 1 on the way im 24 and can.honestly say i love being a mom, im not bothered about going out or anything my kids are my world.....

Im not saying dont get an abortion but you really need to think about it as once its done regardless of your decision there is no going back, and the choices you make can affect you for the rest of your life.....

[rachaelw]

I had an aborrion 2 years ago and i was 9 weeks. Had to take the pill. It was a terrible experience but i know the time wasnt right for me to have a baby. Realistically analyse your situation, if your bf is not helping much now he may not help much when the baby comes?!?!. Abortion is a selfish thing but wouldnt you like to bring a child in into this world when youre at least a little prepared and ready? If you do abort id say be extra careful when having sex in the future aa its not something youd want to go through twice xxx

[DBABYD]

I had an abortion when I was 16 which was 10 years ago. My mom forced me to and im very happy with that decision. Im now 24 weeks pregnant. Im so excited and ready now. I never watched a video! They asked me if it was what I wanted to do and did I get pressured. They did a u/s to see how far along you are. I didnt look but heard them. I was put under during mine then woke up and went home. I had bad pain from it the rest of the day but no regrets. Dont let anyone influence you. You know what you want so dont hesitate much longer. Either way it goes your an adult and you have to live with whatever. If you have any questions or want to talk please message me anytime.

[krenee90]

You wont be tied down. I had my son at age 17 & i would never have it any other way..  i live my life with him.. never would give that up.  Now im 21 & about 6 weeks away from having my baby girl..

[tonysmommy]

Im 18, almost twenty weeks with my first baby. I just turned eighteen in october so i was a a bit overwhelmed when i found out. Two weeks ago me and my babys father hit our one yr mark together.im not on speaking terms with my family and he has no family except his sister, tey were raised in foster care cuz there parrents couldnt provide. We   live with roomates and dnt have out own car. we barely get by with it just being me n him. Our first thought wa abortion,  we didnt want our lil baby to have th life he did. My bf didnt want the baby at all, he didnt want to give it a bad life or to get attached and us loose it. We wanted kids just not now. I graduated   early and was about to start med school. we made the apt for the abortion, did the consultation and planned to go through with it. The nite before i had such a bad pain in my side, went to the er. First thing they did was pull out a dopler and within secs they found my babys heartbeat. I knew at that moment i couldnt do it. My bf was mad at first but he didnt try to force me to do it. He said we cant afford and were ruinin our lives. I didnt listen. 2 weeks later we had a dr apt and they did an ultrasound to find out how far  i was, i was 16 weeks and were having a healthy baby boy. From that point on this lil boy i my bf world! E is so excited and i am to. I understand where ur at rite now but plz know hving a baby is the most beautiful thing a women can do. But ill be here to support u even if u go through with it.

[tana643]

I aborted when I was 20.  Def regreted it and still do cuz there will always be that what if.    I'm not 17 weeks and single and going to do it all by myself. It doesn't mean you have to lay down and for. You need to grow up and make plans ahead of time and not last minute and get a sitter. My friends all have kids and we still go out all the time.

[MrsSugarbaby]

I would really look at the pros and cons of  what you are doing. I feel weather a woman plans a pregancy  or not. We should deal with the  consequences. I know you are worried about your future but the world has so much so support to help you along the way. Have you tried to talk to various health care professionals such as counslors and social workers. They might be able to provide you with advice as well. Kee p faith!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Iknow youwill make a great mommmmyyy

[happilyexpecting]

Keep the baby. They are the most amazing thing that can happen to you. I have one with a second one on the way. I'm so excited and I wouldn't change having my kids for the world. Plus the way your child loves you makes you a better person, I promise you won't regret it. Good luck hun.

[mrscude2010]

Don't Abort :( once you see your precious little baby you will be so thankful you didn't do such a thing. Im 23 and have been with my husband for 5 years and growing up seems scary but there are plenty of parents that enjoy life and going out while caring for their children. Your baby is depending on you don't let your child down because that decision will rest heavy on your shoulders the rest of your life while you think to yourself that you sent your baby to heaven by your own choices

[smiley_one]

I also like to add, if you think you are going to regret an abortion, please don't have one. It would just haunt you. Good luck on your decision and keep us posted with what you decide.