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Avatar universal

abortion?

Hello guys,
I'm 19 and just found out I'm pregnant last week. My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 1/2 years and we planned on having a baby well at least that's what he was saying to me while we were having sex. And saying how he wanted to get me pregnant before joining the air force. Its very frustrating for me right now because my boyfriend is now begging me to get an abortion and saying the most negative things...calling me a ****, a *****, and every name in the book and continuously telling me how much he wants an abortion. I'm starting to get tired of it because it is everyday that he continues to remind me. But I keep refusing...now I'm getting to the point where it is becoming something that I want and I don't know if I should break down and just do it to get him the check out of my life or just keep it. I know I'm young and I'm afraid I can't take care of this baby but I'm a very confused girl and I don't know what I want...and I'm tired of feeling degraded as a woman. HELP!
23 Responses
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Avatar universal
Don't abort there is always giving it up for adoption. It gives you enough time to feel your child move and maybe after that you can decide whether you want to keep the baby or give it up for adoption.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
HE can want an abortion all HE wants. The baby isn't growing inside of him so he has no say in what happens with you and the baby. If you want the baby tell him you have made up your mind and that he can either stay with you and help you raise this child or he can leave. Let him know you are done hearing about it and that you deserve to be treated with more respect then he is giving you. A friend of mine had an abortion a few years ago and got pregnant again with her fiancé at the same time I found out I was having another. 12 weeks in, the baby stopped growing. She didn't want to get the abortion to begin with and she struggles with it daily. If it's not something that you really truly want, don't do it.
Helpful - 0
7358510 tn?1427032173
agree with the other woman doll.leave him, keep the baby, or adopt ur baby out to people who cant have a baby. dont kill ur own flesh and blood. xx goodluck.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
ever time he says he wants an abortion just day you wanted the baby to and you'll regret ever getting one especially if you get pregnant again but I agree with most the comments he sounds like he's full of negativity and that's not good for you are the baby on any level just go somewhere where you have support and do not speak to him without someone else in the room it doesn't matter how far along you are, your baby I  hearing him say mean selfish things and on top of it the baby feels your emotions just like you feel it's so don't stay just go and give himthe option to either A) be a a father and stop the bull **** or B) stay away from you and your baby it's hard but it's something that obviously needs to be done
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
He's wrong for acting the way he is.  I had gotten pregnant when I was 18 and I had all but one person closest to me telling me to not have it.  I was young and stupid and listened to the majority, I had an abortion and have regretted it everyday sense then.  I would never tell anyone to have to go through that, but I still wouldn't tell them not to.  I hurt myself and the father in the process, I will never forgive myself for taking away a life, but that's just me.  If you think it's the right thing for you then do it, but if you are thinking that way because of other people then dont do it, it's not worth it, and if you're not sure then don't do it.  In the tend if you still don't want the baby then go for adoption, just think really hard before you get rid of that life in you because you will have to live with that.  But good luck hun, it all comes down to what you want.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You shouldn't bring up abortion because not everyone is going to agree with what you're feeling and it gets everyone roudy. I say do way you think is right for your life and situation. Personally, id leave him for just calling me those terrible names because it means he has no respect for you. Best of luck hun.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
My son's father left me when I found out I was pregnant because I would not get an abortion. When we first found out I was pregnant I was really scared and when he started trying to pressure "abortion being the only way" on me it became very hard and I considered it for a short moment then I realized that there is other options. My mom told me, "I will support what ever decision you decide to make, but I want you to remember how young I was when I got pregnant with you (17-18) and abortion never crossed my mind". We talked about the abortion and we talked about adoption. Now I am 37 weeks and 6 days pregnant today and I am preparing to raise my son. I don't think I could've lived with myself if I would've got an abortion, especially since I only considered it because I had the guy in my ear saying it's the only way. It is really scary, no lie there. But I can say, the first time I felt him move, like really kick hard, I cried. Because I was glad I did not do anything to harm my baby.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Keep Your Baby Dont Let Him Tell You What To Do With Your Body If He Dont Wanna Be There I Am Sure You Are Strong Enough To Handle It By Your Self Don't EVERRRRRRR Let A Boy Hav You Thinking About Killing Your Child.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You have to do what's best for you. Doesn't matter what people on here thinking cause at the end of the day you're the one that will raise this baby.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I was going to get one and I cry at the thought of an abortion now. I love my baby. Every kick Every punch he makes me smile. Please... whatever you do. DO NOT GET IT. Yes it will be hard but it will be so worth it in the end. I can't wait to have my baby Malachi and I know when you have your baby you won't regret him or her.
Helpful - 0
9969727 tn?1417479007
Let me just start this by saying You do NOT sound like someone who Wants an abortion because you truly want one. Second I can not tell you whether or not you should get one. No one can. It's your decision in the end, not even your boyfriend can make the decision for you. I would like to however say if you feel like that is the best option, you need to look into it profusely. Why? Because  if you aren't 10000% sure, you will have to live with the regrets for the rest of your life.
Have you thought about adoption?
Adoption is a wonderful option to give the baby you knowingly created the life you might no longer want to be apart of
good luck with whatever you decide.
Helpful - 0
7174950 tn?1406661109
He needs to grow a pair he wanted it and now wants you to kill it like really keep it because its not fair on you or the baby you know its something that god has blessed you with his giving you a chance and baby think positive and keep the baby never do what you dont want to do i dont believe in abortions but please dont do what he wants you to do his been selfish but maybe his a little scared and didnt think it would happen so quick good luck hun
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you guys so much I feel so much better. It just hurts me to know how heartless he could be. I understand it is a big responsibility and  is life changing but I know I can do it because God gave me this baby for a reason. God won't put something on my plate that I cannot handle. And I am VERY much against abortion but I'm just so tired of being treated so wrong. And I wouldn't want my baby to have a father like that that would treat their mother like that or not want his own child. Like that's his baby how could you feel like that knowing that this is something that is part of not just me but him also. Thank you ladies SO much! I feel confident...but I feel bad also because I know right when I get home from work he's going to make me feel that same way again. And the crazy thing is. When I lied to him and told him it wasn't his he flipped out and when I said I was going to get an abortion the next day he kept me in bed and wouldn't let me leave..idk. Maybe I'm just super pregnant and super emotional
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Men sometimes get nervous when it becomes a real fact I have been pregnant twice, once was a miscarriage but both times were on purpose and he then had cold feet when it was surreal but he came around both times :) he had to have loved you alot to even have thoughts of you as a mother of his child i think.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
It is scary being a first time mom. I'm 18, 18 weeks along and having a boy. In the beginning I was so scared and afraid and so many thoughts went through my head, but seeing my baby moving in ultrasounds and seeing my baby bump gives me the warmest feeling inside! I love him and I havwnt even met him yet. Its amazing
Helpful - 0
7552771 tn?1469929649
I'm still with the same guy. You should be with someone who supports your wishes
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You need to do whatever is best for you... don't even think about him if he's gonna act like that you don't need him in your life that kind of negativity isn't good for anyone! But don't do it just cuz he tells you to. People will comment and bash on you and tell you your going to hell and whatever they think. But it's not their circus not their monkeys if that makes sense. It's an old proverb from poland. You know what is best for you and your life better than anyone else!! If you need advice message me :)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I am very much against abortion and especially if you two was trying to have a baby, that in my opinion would just be wrong to just kill a baby because all of a sudden when it actually happens your not ready...
That's not fair to the poor innocent baby you two created. This is something I truly think you need to really think about cuz this you will have to live with the rest of your life...
Helpful - 0
7552771 tn?1469929649
If you don't want one you'll regret it forever. He needs to man up and realize its also his fault you're pregnant. He's probably just scared. Either put up with him and it will be too late to have one soon so he'll have to get over it. Or leave him. I would call a doctor and have him go see the first sonogram or hear the heartbeat. But I wouldn't put up with him. And I wouldn't let him force me into something I don't want to do that I'll regret. An abortion is a huge decision. If you do want one then go for it. I've had one 4 years ago it was my choice and I knew its was what I was going to do before I even took the test. But my bf at the time said its my choice no matter what and never pressured me for any decision it was all mine. And I don't regret it. Its all your decision. Don't let anyone influence you.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hun you dont need any man to take care of you. You got this. God blessed you and dont do something you refuse too jus bc he wants too.. you can do this. Please give that baby a chance. Adoption is always an option.  You should really think hard on abortion it will be something you will regret I personally do not believe in abortion but its all up to you.. but your stronger than you think..
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
In my personal opponion abortion is never the way to go. Yes, you are young & taking care of a child is alot of work & alot of money. But, my mother was a single mother of 3 & only worked a part time job. So, finacially its possiable. But, if you're that aginst keeping your child look into adoption. People everywhere want children & can't have them.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
No, abortion isn't something you want. What you want is him to stop telling you to get one, therefore you think getting one will solve that problem. YOU are incharge of your body. If YOU want this baby, you can have the baby! He has no right calling you names. It takes two to make a baby! If he doesn't want the baby then he should have never told you he did. Its all up to YOU momma, not him.
Helpful - 0
7998970 tn?1435183202
Leave his *** & keep it. If you have your family for support then even better, you can also use government help, & also put him on child support. What kind of man..smh
Helpful - 0
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