baby names.

[alissap]

my fiance and i are not married yet but are expecting and i dont what to do about the last name. whose last name do we use???

[MrsPincince]

JMO.....It really shouldn't matter if you're married or not. You are together, he is supportive of your pregnancy, and he IS the father. The baby should have his last name no matter what the marital status is...Try not to think about the marriage part too much. If you stress it, he may completely shut down. There are plenty of people that are together with children and not married. Marriage is not the end all be all because statistically speaking, 50% or more of marriages end in divorce. If both of you love each other and are on the same page with your family growing and you get along just fine, everything else will fall into place when it's supposed to...I personally NEVER wanted to get married. IMO marriage does not define LOVE. I met my husband in high school at 17. We didn't think about marriage until 6 yrs later and it's only because he caught me off guard and asked me. I figured why not?....Lol Good luck with your decision! I hope you update us on what you do decide:)

[cnhauk]

When my brother-in-law's son was born, he and the mom weren't married. They gave him her last name until they married (he was just over 2), then they changed it to his last name. She figured it was 'safer' to have her last name and easy enough to change his when she changed hers. Good luck

[sweetpea03]

I really do hope it can all work out for you, but honestly, it wouldn't be so surprising if it didn't. My good friend got pregnant with her fiance and he walked out when she was 6 months pregnant, after being together for 4 years. Sadly it happens more often than we ever want it to. I think, in my own opinion, it would just be best to use your own last name for right now and then later on you can change it. I'm kind of confused that he said he wanted to wait to get married because 'he didn't want to do that so that you could only get what they could afford'? Does he think they'll have more money later and it'll all be better? That sounds like a bad excuse to me and I'd ask him about it. There should always be time for communication. I go to school full time, work, and do extra odd jobs for more money, my fiance works full time, goes to school part-time, and we always make sure to talk to each other about everything that is going on. Communication is very important. Make sure to talk to him about it all to see where he stands.

[alissap]

we had set a wedding date to this october to get married before the baby arrived and i started talking about registering and our families arent very big so he didnt want to do that so that we could only get what they could afford. so as we both work alot we havent had alot of time to talk about it. but as of now i guess the wedding is off? i cant even tell you. we've been together 3 years now and have lived together a year and a half, we wanted kids but not necessarily right this minute but we have stable income so fingers crossed we will make it. i just dont want to come into a problem and get stuck.

[kimmery]

i had a child with my boyfriend at 24. originally i gave her his last name but came to regret it, especially when she starting asking why i didn't want to give her my last name as well as his! we had it legally changed and now it includes both our names and is hyphenated. (fyi, i am no longer with her father).

[NicoleW09]

I had this conversation with my hubby when his 18 year old cousin got pregnant. She gave their son the fathers last name. I told him that if well had gotten pregnant at that age before we got married, I would have given our child my name, but I would consider hyphenating an use both. He said that to him, it would be expected that it would be my choice.

[PriceFamily91611]

His last name!

[sweetpea03]

Have you set a new wedding date? It is unsettling that he doesn't want to have a wedding for a while, which can be a red flag. Having children at a young age adds a lot of stress and many teen parents don't make it, sadly. Statistically speaking, only about 20% of young dads actually marry the mother of their first child. If you are not sure if you'll make it or have any doubts, you may just want to use your own last name. Then after you get married, if you do, then you can change it to his last name.

[lisa1905]

if u want to get married and he does not want to do. then if i were u i would the baby last name under my name and tell him i would change it if we get married  :)

[AUSTIN431]

you should also consider what the law is where you live what rights he will have if the baby gets his name and what rights he won't have if you don't give the baby his name

[Clysta]

When it happens doesn't matter. The point is if you actually intend to. The problem you're going to face is that statistically, you won't survive. You're both young, and children add A LOT of strain on a couple. If you're not very commited to each other, you likely won't make it. You also miss out on a lot of things for both you and your partner.

[blueeyedtabbycat]

well my other half and I have 4 kids and we are not married (13 years together) but I never questioned all of our children would have his last name. If you cant see your life without him I would say just do just dk his.last name. you do plan on getting married even if its years from now right?

[alissap]

we had our wedding planned to and we are having to postpone it as well. im just nervous about it because now he doesnt want to have a wedding for awhile. so im stuck in a pickle and dont know whose name to take.

[Clysta]

Well if it's his child and you're getting married, the wise choice would be to make it his last name. Otherwise you'll likely have to change it later. My husband and I weren't married when my daughter was born (I had to cancel my wedding plans because I got pregnant) but I listed her name as his.