Aa
big mistake please help
Hello ladies. I made a big mistake. I took two at home pregnancy tests and both came up positive. I didn't tell the dad. I am currently at work and the dad found the pregnancy tests in one of my bags at our house. He is really upset and refuses to talk to me. I don't know what to do. I had told him that I would tell him if I bought one and now that I didn't he thinks thar I am lying to him and he thinks that I might be lying to him about other things which isn't true. What should I do? I am at work and currently panicking. I can't stop crying. Please help.
And I hope you don't take me wrong n think I'm being rude, hun...I just don't like to see any guy treating a woman with disrespect.
Wow!! I'm really suprised..I've gotta say my first reaction yesturday wasn't that far off!! He has issues, hun...I was feeling kinda bad that I said abt him gettin into ur bags, but now I don't!! Lol..;-) I don't think he can be trusted..ur better off not getting an apartment with him..and don't let anyone emotionally blackmail you into something you don't want to do, hun...this is a very emotional and hormonal time for you..goodluck n best wishes..=)
all I'm going to say to this is "what a wanker" he is, I wouldnt rush into any decision about adoption yet, and going on his reaction if he's now not going to move in with you because of that, who is he to tell you you cant bring a child into this world and look after it, why not, he's not going to be there for you now, he's just told you that your not moving in together, so if you adopt the baby out, he's still not going to be there for you... he sounds like a control freak, your better off without him....
well...this could let you know if this is the guy you want to be with for the rest of your life. Raising children is hard and harder when you are not ready and have no support. Good luck Brie...there is no wrong decision, you have to do what's right for you.
I agree with Linny...if that's what you want then I wish you the best, but if not, fight him for it, this is big and he's showing you a side of himself right now that's not boding well for a future relationship with him. It's okay that he's not ready, it's not okay if he's throwing a tantrum or making you feel guilty or pushing you into something you're not ready to do by using emotional blackmail.
Well I wish u all the best in whatever you decide and I hope you won't be a pushover in your relationship. good luck.
We weren't planning or trying to have a baby. It was an accident. But he is right neither of us is ready for kid. So yes I am sure about the adoption. Its my only option.
I'm shocked I don't know what to say. I thought ye were planning for a baby. is that what you want....adoption??
Wow, he has blown this way out of proportion. You do not deserve that at all. Also if you feel right about the adoption that is good. But if you want to raise the baby you can do it without him and shouldn't let him persuade you with what he wants. I'm sorry he's acting like a fool towards you. He sounds like an idiot. I am sorry. Don't let him control you. Hang in there you'll do great.
And to top it all off we were supposed to rent and apartment together but because he thinks I lied to him he called it off. He says that he can't rent a place with a liar.
Well he wasn't happy. I told him that I wanted to tell him when I got home. I took everyone's advice and gave him space. I told him that I wad nervous and scared. And he didn't care. Its the next day and he still doesn't care. He said that he can't raise a kid and he wants to give the baby up for adoption. I cried most of the night but finally realized that he was right. We are giving the baby up for adoption.
There were lots of posts so i didnt read them all so apologies if im repeating something!!! Tell him you wanted to tell him face to face. Or you could buy something on your way home from work like a dad card or a baby vest or something to do with a baby and say you wanted to surprise him with it when you saw him so you could see his reaction face to face.
hey,why re u worrying and hurting urself so mch.Relax and take it cool,wait till u get home stop trying to push further,just tell him u knw this test of a thing dont always come out rite esp when d pregnancy is early,so u wanted to b very sure b4 u break the news to him,that it was out of anxiety and cautiousness dat made u do that,that u were going to tell him after all.I did three home test to be sure b4 i told my husband,i didnt want any disappointments
Be honest about how you are feeling...scared, nervous, unsure, happy, excited, nervous about his feelings, all at the same time. If he is willing to talk about how he is feeling, try to really listen. It is a life changing event in so many ways and deserves to be treated importantly. However, keep in mind that it is not an overnight change. Pregnancy is a long process with a lot of waiting involved...you don't need to resolve every emotion right now, and they are bound to change as you go along. His reaction may not be the same as yours, but he may need more time to work through how he feels. Try to leave anger out of it if you can, but don't take all the responsibility for the situation, either. You are living together, sleeping together, even if using birth control pregnancy is a possible outcome. What I am trying to say is, nothing has to be decided or resolved today. The hardest part is over, now he knows, it is just a matter of you two finding a way to be there for each other. Try not to stress...keeping you in my thoughts!
I am currently at work and he is picking me up in about 3 hours and I am just so worried and concerned about how the car ride home will go. I don't know what he will say and with my emotions being to crazy I don't know how to handle it.
I agree with Montanagirl...and all else fails, cry. :) I was never a crier until I got pregnant but I'm learning its power. Don't be afraid to tell him he's acting like an idiot, sometimes they need that reality check, especially when they're processing emotions and they're not fully rational. When you finally get to that conversation, tell him your reasons, tell him you're sorry that he feels like that but he should know you better than that. Men. I swear. lol
Take a breath...keep in mind that none of us know him, you, or the dynamics of your relationship. BUT...he is mad. It is very normal for men to withdraw to deal with heavy emotions. Let him. Give him space to process his feelings. The more you push right now, the more he will react. He knows that you need to talk & feel connected right now, but he doesn't have the support to offer you that you need right now. Men are wired to be the 'fixers' in life. They like concrete answers to situations. It is hard for them to process if they can't provide those answers. Also, by withdrawing it gives him a feeling of control over the situation. He may be unconsciously feeling like you took his control of this situation by testing without his knowledge, so in response is denying what you need from him - communication. Just let him go to his "man cave" until he is ready to come to you. The more you push right now, the further you push him away, which sets up a really unhealthy dynamic for your relationship. Giving him the room to process his feelings says that you respect his needs, which is very important to men. When he is ready, be calm & be honest as to why you didn't tell him right away. I am assuming you were processing your emotions as well and wanting to find the right way or time to share? Good luck!
I'd leave him alone till you get home. Maybe he doesn't know how to react and this is just first instinct for him. I agree with all the others, men can be such babies. He's just thinking about himself...obviously not how you feel. Did you know how he would already feel if you ended up pregnant? Were you trying to have a baby?
I would be the angry one for his reaction- your the one pregnant for frig sakes!! There's nothing like a man that treats you like crap but when you're pregnant it seems 10 times worse to me!!
I would be the angry one for his reaction- your the one pregnant for frig sakes!! There's nothing like a man that treats you like crap but when you're pregnant it seems 10 times worse to me!!
Just tell him you wanted to make a dr appt to confirm before saying anything about it :)
just let him cool off hel be fine after that im sure of it and hel say sorry to u. x
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