thakns frnds...now i am happy...that i can go further wid this relation....thank you all of u for guide me...i wil tel him in future if he shared somthing about his past....hope all will well...
I normally would tell a woman to tell her doctor everything, but in this case...I think you can keep it a secret. the doctors MAY figure it out but I seriously doubt it and usually the pill abortions do not cause lasting fertility damage. I think you're well within your rights to keep your secret, and you are absolutely worthy of marrying this guy ...just because you had an abortion does not make you "used" or "damaged" goods...you are still a vital, healthy woman with a lot to offer a man INCLUDING children when you two are ready. Chin up and have a little confidence in yourself. You made a mistake, you did what you had to do...and now you're going to marry a man and become his wife and the mother of his children. You do not have to tell him right away if you do not want to. You can tell him if you two come to trust each other someday, but be forewarned that he may be hurt that you waited. However, it was in the past and I can understand how in Indian culture the marriage might not go forward if he found out about it. It's your call, but you do not HAVE to tell anyone.
I think what your asking is if they do tests about pregnancy, will they be able to tell you had an abortion. I'm not one to give advice about this, as I have never had an abortion, But if it was done a long time ago, I would not worry about a doctor being able to tell and if you could get pregnant again. My mother in law had a few abortions and still went on to have 3 healthy children and the abortions were between all of her children being born. I would say do some research online about if they are able to tell if you have had a abortion before or not. Good luck and i hope everything works out for you.
I am from middle class family....and u all are kno about indian culture....if i disclosed it will affect on my family members as well....i want to tel one thing to all of u...i had intercourse in ma life at only once time....and my bad luck i got pregnant....till now i had never intercourse wid any one..bs now im very scared abt pragancey.That time my partner was forced me to do intercourse...now his married wid other girl..and happy in his family...and now i am in trouble..some time i just wondering that might be my future life partner also had any intercourse wid any girl or many girl..but this is the arrange marriage so he wud not disclosed me any secrets about his past relation....pls tel me....wat shud i do???????
hi friends...i can understand wat u all want to say me...but his in ma relatives....if i telll him then this relation will not go further....and ma all relatives will come to kno..that i had an abortion...i dont understand wat to do....its not very easy to disclosed ma mistake...now im wondering i have no rights to get marry...bs no one can tolerate this mistake...that is his wife had already abortion....now i dont have any hopes....
I think it comes down to cultural issues. I have a feeling it would endanger her if she disclosed her secret, but maybe thats just me. I work with at-risk teens and culturally different couples and there are just some things that are better left unsaid to keep a women/girl safe.
I agree with what Joy and DoulaSummer said. Chances are no one will ever find out, but it's best to be honest and up front. With your doctor and your partner.
You need to disclose the information to your doctor and because doctor's have a confidentiality agreement with you they cannot tell even your husband about it. By why start off your relationship on a lie? Be honest with him, especially if he is to be the father of your children. Good luck to you!
hi...anyone can pls explain me about GP and fertility test..(If u also confused read above comment)
hi chez.....can u pls tel me.....i had abortion thru pill,so in future any pregnancy reports will reflect that i had an abortion...pls do reply...
I had an abortion at 10 weeks when I was only 16. I am now 29 married and pregnant with my third child and never had any problems with concieving or pregnancy.
Thank you Minney. I did say most, because there is always an exception somewhere. Also consider that different doctors do abortions differently and some methods are more traumatic to the uterus. Hopefully her abortion did not cause permanent problems. That said, there are plenty of women (without abortions) who get pregnant easily and then suddenly when they want to try for "one last one" it takes years.
Oh...and there is no one fertility test. It is a series of exams, tests, and blood draws and even then its not a science.
DoulaSummer did say in MOST cases. This is actually the same thing I have heard. I guess I didn't realize you friend is more than MOST cases. I am sorry for her, but you don't have the means to discredit what anyone else has posted here. We are supportive and usually speak in gray areas. Aside from that rant... veervaidya: if it happened 5 years ago, it shouldn't show... And your secret is safe with me :-)
That is completely untrue. I have a friend who had an abortion and has not be able to get pregnant since. She hasn't seen any fertility doctors so I cannot say for certain it was the abortion... but she apparently didn't have trouble getting pregnant before. Abortion CAN cause problems and the ONLY way that you are going to get the correct medical advice and services is if you let your doctor know your medical history. If you feel that it is better to keep it secret from your fiance than do it. Doctor patient confidentiality makes it so that doctors don't get to share all information with patients spouses.
In most cases, abortion does not affect ability to get pregnant in the future. If you have many abortions though, it can cause problems with implantation.
I am all about not keeping secrets, but if you feel you would be in danger for disclosing information from a previous abortion I would keep it a secret. Best wishes to you.
i cant tel him right now..its arrange marriage..so its very difficult..this my problem is no one knew that i had abortion....wat u think i had it before 5 yrs..and my perods perfect till now....so i had an abortion it wil reflect on reports
If you get pregnant in the future you have to tell them if you have had an previous pregnancies that ended in miscarriage/abortion or a live birth. The reason for this is because there could be complications or scarring because of this. To be perfectly honest I think you should tell your fiance. Starting a marriage off with secrets isn't the right way to go about things.
But see your GP and ask to have a fertility test :)
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