cant stop crying !!

[kirsty702]

Hi everyone ! i just found out yesterday that i have had a m/c i was around 6 weeks the pregnancy was not planned and a massive shock but i really started to get excited about being a mum although i wasnt pregnant for very long i feel like a piece of me is missing (does that sound stupid) and i just feel as though i dont have anything to look forward to.  I have a awesome partner and he helps me alot i just dont think he understands what i am going through !! The thing is the pregnacy was not planned i am only 21 and he is 25 but we are engaged and own our own home and have been together for 4 years we have a very strong relationship.  I dont know how to tell my partner that i really want a baby and losing my baby has made me realise how much i want to be a mum but my partner wants to wait a few years like we planned at first but i dont think i can do that now i feel like i am missing something and being pregnant made me feel whole.  I just wanted to know was this a common feeling after m/c and will i maybe think different in a few weeks or does the urge for a baby never go away !!

[wannabamommy]

I'm soo sorry about your loss. I hope things get easier for you as time passes and that you and your DF can agree on some sort of plan that makes you both happy in regards to ttc. I am currently 5wks and I'm terrified of a miscarriage in the future but I try to live in the moment and enjoy the pregnancy as it progresses. I can only imagine what a terrible and heartwrenching experience it is and I pray that I never have to experience it. I will keep you in my prayers my dear. Take care.

[michelle148]

Has someone disguised them selves as me!!! This was me end of November when i found out that i had had a miscarriage, reading your post was exactly how i felt and was feeling at the time it happened. Mine too was unplanned but we excepted it and just when i was looking forward to it it got taken away. I too like you felt something was missing and that i had to replace something that had been lost and was heartbroken and told my partner i wanted to try again straight away, lucky for me he wanted to as well so we are TTC again now but i had to respond to you as your post is exactly how i would have sent a post after my M/C. Im so sorry about your loss, have you tried telling your partner that you dont think you can wait a few years?? Explain to him the pain and grief you feel and that you think that you will come to terms with things more if a new baby was planned, not that you ever forget about the M/C i know that i certainly havent and im sure many others on here will also say that not a week goes past when it isnt thought about.

[KellyA74]

I had to have a D&C on 12/10 and I tto feel 'empty' and like something is missing.....You're feelings are totally normal....And although men can give 1005 to us during these times, they still can't ever understand whe it feels like to have a baby inside you one day, and the next it's gone....and all of the changes that ones body goes thru.  I'm glad that you do have a support system....It will help a ton.....And once the impact of this calms down a little, maybe you and your BF can discuss TTC again.....He probably needs some time to 'heal' as well......
I'm so sorry that you have to go thru this......Thoughts and prayers are with you......And there are alot of people out here who are willing to help you thru it!

[leighanne143]

i meant to say and i am now pregnant again, so it can happen quickly.

[leighanne143]

what you are going through is normal.  I mC on 10/12 and i am not pregnant again and still find myself very sad crying about my loss.  You should talk to you DH and find out if he is ready for a baby now too.  Let him know how it made you feel.  It does feel like someone stole something from you and you will not get it back, but it will get easier.  You will never forget but things do eventually slow down.  I thought my world had just ended right before my eyes and now things are semi okay.  It seems like the both of you are reayd and should have  aserious talk about trying again in 2-3 months, after you give yourself some time to heal.  Hope all goes well.

[kirsty702]

Thank you so much for your kind words and thoughts it helps speaking to people who know the pain i am going through i am trying to think postive and think there will alwayd be next time but then all i can think is i want my baby back.  I did tell all my family and my partners family to which i know you shouldnt do until after 12 week scan but i couldnt help it i was excited the thing is it makes it worse taht everybody knows because i cant bear to tell everyone my partner has done it for me and to be totally honest (which i know i can be with you guys) i do feel some anger towards them because i am so young they didnt really embrace the idea and said we were to young and we should wait but now everyone is coming forward to say how sorry they are but in my eyes its to late for that.  I know i shouldnt think this way and they were proberly just worried about us but maybe they will learn to keep there thoughts to themselves next time as you never know whats going to happen.

Everyone just keeps saying you are young you can always try again and at least you know you can get preganat now (like it was a test run or something!!) but to me i just lost a part of me and i feel empty but they keep saying things like at least you lost it early on and not at 5/6 months but this doesnt really help me right now !!

I know its difficult because people dont really know what to say but i would rather they didnt say anything at all if they are going to say things like that and the doctors are just the same its just a part of everyday life to them but they should understand that to me its my whole life my future !! I have all sorts of things going round my head and i didnt sleep a wink last night its so hard because i still feel pregnant and i am still having morning sickness and my breasts are sore but it kills me that my little baby is not in there anymore !!

Thanks for listening guys you dont know how much you have all helped me over the past week i never thought i could feel so close to people i have never met !! thank you !

[Annie2008]

Hunnie, you sound just like me.  I had a m/c on 12-12 and I still have moments where I will catch myself crying.  My pregnancy wasn't planned either, I found out I was pregnant when I was 7 weeks.  When I was supposed to be 10 weeks pregnant I started bleeding and had fiance take me to the ER, and had a u/s done only to be told the baby stopped growing and passed away at 6 weeks.  I didn't know for long, and wasn't pregnant long either, but it still hurts.  I got very excited once we told both of our parents about the baby and was looking forward to the pregnancy and having the baby in our lives.  When we found out we were completely devasted, and it still hurts even now that the m/c is over with.  The pregnancy also made me realize how much I want to have a baby, and it made my fiance realize how much he wanted to be a daddy.  I know it seems as though your the only one going through something like this, and it seems as though you will never get through it.  But you do somehow.  You will never forget and you will never stop feeling sad about losing the baby, but it does get easier.  It helped me that we did tell some people in our family because I needed that support big time.  What helped me was the ability to be able to talk about it with everyone, even if I was only repeating myself, and my fiance was so supportive throughout the whole ordeal.  My OB was the greastest as well throughout the whole thing and in fact the night of 12-12 when I was actually starting to go through the m/c my OB called me to see how I was doing and stayed on the phone with my fiance while I was going through contractions and told us step by step what to expect.  It makes me cry now, typing this out thinking that so many of us have gone through something like this.  The one thing that also helped through this whole thing was the concept of being able to get pregnant again some day and having that beautiful baby that we so wanted.  My fiance and I like to think of this ordeal as an eye opener and maybe our baby was sent to us (even though it wasn't for very long) to strengthen our relationship and to tell us that we will soon have children.  It's been almost 6 weeks now and while it seems so long ago the wounds are still fresh.  I couldn't stop crying either for a while, but let yourself grieve, and allow yourself to cry, it cleanes the soul.  We are all here for you whenever you want to talk and you can always send me a private message if you'd like.  I'll pray for you and your fiance and I'm so sorry for you loss.

[natashalo8]

i went through the same experience when I was 21. I mean, I just read your post and it blew me away b/c it sounded so much like my situation a few years back. I got pregnant by accident when I just turned 21. I was shocked and very scared, but I got attached to the idea of being a mother after the intial shock. Then I had a m/c at 10 weeks. I didn't even know I was pregnant until 6 weeks so i only knew for 4 weeks before i even m/c. it's hard, very hard and sometimes you may feel like you won't get thru it. you will though. it's been 3 years since i had my m/c and i am truly at peace with everything that has happened. we are now trying to conceive. i think i needed some time to catch up b/c like i said before my pregnancy was also unplanned. however, i did want my baby and it hurt when i lost him/her. if you'll go to my profile and click on my journal entry there is a poem there that i wrote the day after i came home from the hospital. it really helped me get my feelings out and it might help you to do the same. whatever you 2 decide to do, i wish you the very best and i'll keep you in my prayers.