expecting second, guilt for first born?

[superchoc]

I have a 2 and a half year old girl, due a second child, a boy, within 2 weeks. This evening i have been slapped with feeling lonely/guilty without my daughter.. She is in bed sleeping so its not as if i should be missing her but when i put her to bed i said my usual night-nights, love you, sweet dreams, see you in the morning. But i thought, what if im not here in the morning? There is going to be some of these mornings where she wakes up asking where i am and il not be here and it makes me feel so sad. We are very close and im not working at the minute but her daddy is so we spend each waking minute together. I dont know if its hormones but i dont usually feel strong maternal feelings unless something is wrong. she spent the night at her nannys a few weeks back and since we dropped her off, i had this overwhelming feeling of making sure she was ok.. turned out she was very sick during the night. I think this little one is not far away and thats why i am feeling like this, like nesting is cleaning the house, is there something for feelings for your first child? i feel awful and her daddy having a level head is not letting me wake her up to cuddle her lol has anyone else felt like this?

[superchoc]

Thanks ladies, its so difficult sometimes! I can understand how when things change, you couldn't imagine them any other way.. I know she'll be a great big sister but i'm hoping it will not affect us, it shouldn't i know, but dear old mother nature likes to torture her daughters!!

[snagglepuss1]

I had exactly the same feeling when I had my dd and was expecting my 2nd baby. She was only 18 months when my son was born and towards the very end I was thinking she is still my baby and I'm having another baby, will I love another baby as much? Try and not worry about it, once your son is born it will be fine, the same amount of love is there and despite the being away from the child you already have, she will be thrilled at having a new sibling! It only ever affected me going from 1 to 2 children, I never even thought about it when I was having my 3rd, I just knew I'd love them all the same. Only bit that got me was being in hospital for 3 days before his birth waiting to be induced.

[Kw2011]

I felt the same way! I continued those feeling until my daughter showed how much she loved the new baby! You will be able to balance it and give your older child just as much attention and love !

[Michele, Katy, TX]

Yes, it is certainly normal for have feelings of guilt, but just remember that your little girl will adjust and will actually end up not having a memory without your new addition.  I am on my 7th baby and I always feel really bad for the youngest one.  They always adjust and end up loving the new baby.  

My 2 oldest daughters are less than 18 months apart.  They don't have one single memory of their lives without the other one in it and I think they are so lucky. I have one brother and we are not close at all.  When I look back at my childhood, yes I had all the physical things I needed.  We lived in a nice home and I was involved in activities.  My parents took us on some sort of vacation every summer.  But when I look back, I also remember being really lonely.  My kids don't know what that's like and they never will :)  I am so glad for that.  My gift to them is each other.

My youngest is like your daughter.  I stopped working at the end of my pregnancy with her.  We have been together every moment of her life pretty much and we are very close.  She is like my shadow and I feel bad for her w/ this new baby coming.  I know it will be hard on her at first.  I am actually more worried about my hospital stay because we have never really been apart.  But I know that in the grand scheme of things, it's only a couple of days and that will be gone from her tiny memory in no time.  She will adjust and learn to love her new baby brother when he arrives.  They always do.  Mine have.

So try to look at it as if you are giving your older daughter a gift.  She is getting a baby sister to love and help take care of.  She is hopefully getting her best friend for life!

[vacuumprincess]

I have a six year old & had been feeling this way for a couple of months now.  I had my baby yesterday & feel wonderful about it all.  

I was so worried about my 6 yr old.  I was scared for HER if something happened to me.  I didn't want to leave her to go to the hospital.  I was afraid of her feeling less loved....  All the things you feel.  She is my everything. I thought I couldn't possibly love another child as much as I love her.  I was wrong.

I delivered my new baby yesterday.  I think now how silly that was.  My daughter is very excited to have a baby sister.  The feeling I have for our expanded family is wonderful.  I do have room in my heart for two!