father??

[michelle2981]

I have a question. I am due April 22, 2010. My LMP was July 16,2009. I am one of the lucky people that have regular cycles ever 28 days and usually ovulate on day 14 (I have taken ovulation tests before) My bf and I have been together for almost 2 years Sept. We broke up for a few months last summer but continued to have sex on a daily basis. On July 25 (actually it would be July 26 at 3am) I slept with another man. It was a one night stand and it happened only one time. I then had sex with my BF every day after that. My dr puts my conception date at July 30 which would be day 14 (ovulation day) I have also had two US, one at 10 weeks and one at 22 weeks that those also confirmed my conception date as July 30. I am VERY worried that the one night stand may be the father. I'm thinking it is very unlikey since it happened 5 days before ovulation and I was with my BF every day. I'm very worried and it's bothering me. I am due to have a boy. They say boy sperm is usually the sperm that fertilizes egg the DAY of ovulation and female sperm are the long livers. Can you help me with this? Thank you!

[rivermama]

I agree that you need to have a DNA test done.  And I also agree that there is no need here for RUDE comments.  It is not like we hav e not all made mistakes.  I am sure the rude comment maker has made a few of her own.  

I hate that you are stressing so much about this.  It is only hurting you and your baby.  You are almost at the finish line so try to take a step back and calm down.  You need your nutrition and your rest.  Your baby needs its mom to be healthy, not to mention that your other children need you to be healthy.  

Deal with your pregnancy first and worry about the paternity afterwards.  No matter who is the father, you are the mother and have to worry about that baby first.  I wish you the best of luck.  

[michelle2981]

I see the doc again tomorrow. They measured me last week and never said anything. But everyone including my mother keeps telling me I look like I'm loosing weight and my face is thinning out. I do run around after a two and three year old too. haha. I haven't had too much of an appetite lately either I think because I'm so tired. I guess I'll find out tomorrow when I go to dr. if all is well. I'll be 36 weeks tomorrow.

[nessa128]

We are all human and are destined to make mistakes and i think after 29 years of age with one silly ons you are far better then alot of people. As for your weight every pregnancy is different this is my fourth and i'm stacking on the weight like you wouldn't believe but with my 3 daughters i barely put anything on i was all baby, so i wouldn't stress to much.

[michelle2981]

Thank you. I really appreciate your NICE comment. It's hard enough now that my due date is fastly approaching. More then likely that's what I will do, get a DNA done through the ONS. It was a mistake that I made, for the FIRST time in my 29 years and this scare was a lesson learned for me. Not saying the baby was a mistake. I had h'onestly in the beginning thought about getting an abortion, but I DO NOT believe in that whatsoever. So I took the chance. I saw no reason to terminate because of what I did. As for the STD comment from the rude person above, I have already been tested and I'm clean. That was dumb on my part, but I got lucky there. Hopefully it will all work out in the end. I know it's stressed me out my whole pregnancy. I've been sick and haven't gained weight as much as I should. I've only put on 12 lbs, I was in good shape when I got pregnant so maybe that has something to do with it. Thanks again for your input.

[nessa128]

Sorry Michelle that was not meant for you as i'm sure you could tell, I think you will just have to bite the bullet and see if you can get the DNA test done through the ONS hopefully without hurting your partner, but at the end of the day you were seperated so it's not like you were cheating. goodluck let me know how you go.

[nessa128]

The whole idea of this forum is to seek help, advice and support not to attack people as my mother would say, if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all.

[michelle2981]

thanks but you really didn't need to post your rude comments to me.

[smjmekg]

I agree with all of the other ladies, a DNA test would be the ONLY way to know for sure. Sperm can live inside your body for up to 5 days, so it really could be either man's baby.

[Brittny27]

You can get a DNA test at walgreens I think there around $45. You take a saliva swab and mail it in. I'm not sure how long it takes to get the results back.

I got pregnant the first time having sex on day 10 of a 28 day cycle that was 5 days before ovulation. It can happen so really a DNA test is the only way to know for sure.  

[Majikat]

You need a DNA test you should have been more responsible... There are far worse things you could have gotten having unprotected sex with that other guy. The ultrasound could be off by 1-1 1/2 weeks. You could call the Maury show and you will get a DNA test for free
be more responsible what if you gave your bf HIV?

[Sarah61086]

too close to call
the only certainty will be a paternity test.
Count 38 weeks back from your due date and that would roughly be your conception date.

[michelle2981]

the ONS doesn't even know I am pregnant I don't believe. But that's probably what I am going to do. I do not want my BF finding out UNLESS he isn't the father then I will tell him. How long does it take for results do you know??

[Melka76]

I don't think paternity tests are all that expensive - but it might be worth it for the peace of mind.  If you BF does not know and you still see the ONS - you could ask him for a sample - the only issue is if you BF finds out that the ONS knew before him.. it could cause a problem.  I don't think not knowing will be good for you - even when the baby is born... best of luck.

[Victoria01]

We can all give opinions, but nobody can give you a 100% as to who the father is. Since the dates are so close the only way to know for certain is with a paternity test after the baby is born.

[michelle2981]

No he does not know. I still have ways of contacting the other person. I see him around town quite a bit as well live in a small town. I am 29 years old with three children and have ALWAYS been responsible. I can't believe I even did that. In my heart I feel that my BF is the father, but I am just worried. He is so excited about being a first time dad and he is wonderful with my other children. would I have to pay for the DNA test? just curious? This is keeping me up at night. I have researched topics online about it and it just kinda sounds like my bf is most likely the father. to be honest, I'm not even sure if the one night stand even "finished" i guess you could say. You usually know when that happens, and I am uncertain he even did.

[MissmyAngel]

I agree. I think chances are it is your bf's baby, but you can only find out for sure with a dna test. GL

[Melka76]

The really only true way to know who the father is if you slept with more than one  person in the cycle is a DNA test - Does your BF know that there could be someone else?  I am sorry you are stressing about this - chances are it is your BF - but to be 100% sure is a DNA test which can be done as soon as your baby is born.