feeling ignored and not loved

[african_mama_bear]

So lately i feel like my boyfriend dont care for making me feel good i work hard at work come home take care of our 13 month old daughter and take care of him i wake up take our daughter to school even if im sick like i have been he dont offer let me massage you or anything even when i say oh my body hurts i need a massage he wnt even flinch he use to do these types of things back then make me feel good but now he dnt even pay attention to me i play with our daughter or go to sleep he just plays the game if he isn't home sometimes i wanna break it yesterday i got out the shower and asked can he lotion me up he said ok im 5 minutes that turned into almost an hr i just did it myself so today i just got out and i thought let me ask again he started complaining ge dnt like putting his hands in my cocoa butter lotion and can i use another i said sure its in the drawer he didn't even move he sat up was on his phone and i kist said eff it and lotion myself again i feel like idk if i could put up with this i might as well be pregnant and a single mother to our kids cuz im in a relationship and its like im single smh

[HEllwanger]

I absolutely disagree with you RockRose. That "in love" feeling lasts as long as you make it last. My husband and I have been together for 13 years and we are still just as much "in love" as ever. We still do all those things that you said should stop after 3 or 4 years, and many more things too!For many,  yes,  the romance fades.  Not for everyone! ! The thing is,  you don't want a man to say he loved you just as much as the day you met/married/etc. You want a man like my husband ( who isn't lying ( who says he loves me more than when we met.

To the OP, I know how you feel sometimes about the video games and lack of lotioning but here's the deal.  Mem can't read minds.  They don't know when to offer and often times the "I'm sore" thing isn't going to work.  If you need a massage all flat out for one and have a different lotion that he doesn't mind using handy.  Then reciprocate!  If he is working to he probably needs one as well. Gaming is a stress relief and if he is playing a lot there is a reason for it.  

[RockRose]

Here's the truth of love relationships,  that no one talks about and acts like it doesn't happen this way.

That crazy "in love" feeling lasts only 3,  maybe 4 years.  The desire to touch each other,  gaze into each other's eyes,  hear each other's voice on the phone,  plan ahead naughty underwear and sexy poses,  that lasts 3 years.  It doesn't last a lifetime,  and men who say "I love her just the way I did when we first met" on their 30th anniversary are lying.  They're lying.

What you are left with,  after 3 years,  hopefully is a very bonded relationship,  you really like and admire each other,  you work well together,  and you have nice comforting sex.  That "hits the spot" like your favorite predictable chinese take out food.  

I don't know much about your entire relationship,  africanmamabear,  but he really just doesn't get all fired up about rubbing lotion on you like he used to.  He still can be a wonderful,  stable husband and life time partner and father to your children.  

Best wishes.

[african_mama_bear]

Yea yall are right im just gone ignore him not attempt to talk about my day or ask about his and not care about his stupid video games hopefully he gets the hint and starts acting like ge cares and wants me to stay

[Mommy2be_06_03]

This sounds exactly like my bf and I kno exactly how you feel I just want him to leave if his unhappy but he will tell me he loves me and cuddles up to me for a few hours then nothing again it's depressing I started to ignore him I stopping kissing butt and now he's getting the hint

[19jellybean94]

Don't do anything for him and don't give him any attention, he may get the hint and start doing nice things for you. Relationships have to be like a two-way street, if you do stuff for him then he should be doing stuff for you too.

[african_mama_bear]

Yea they dont and it ***** imma start just only focusing on my daughter and my pregnancy im due in almost two months we live together so its hard to ignore him when im at work or out u dnt really feel like talking to him it ***** that i feel sooo much better and alive when im not home if my daughter is at school there is no love in my home i just wanna read his mind and know like why are you still with me do you even love me cause when i ask him of course his mouth say he loves me and his kids and want us to be together but idk if his heart wants that we plan on getting married before the baby comes he i waiting on me to tell him my ring size and when to do it but i keep pushing it back because im not even sure if we are doing it cause we love each other anymore smh

[Carissa0411]

guys dont realize the things that matter to women they think its no big deal. they also dont realize how hard we work to make them happy! they basically act like spoiled kids. my bf does this to me and when i get sick of telling him that i feel like he doesnt care i start doing things like not texting him back or giving him atention after a couple of days he usually gets the hint and ends up doing something nice. just dont put him on a pedestal let him know that ur important to!