help...my best friends just miscarried

[flutterbies]

Hi, me and one of my best friends found out we were expecting a few weeks apart I am currently 19weeks and she was 11 early hours of sat morn she had a miscarriage, I was just wondering if anyone had any advice on how to approach the situation? We go to university together, so we see each other regularly,I just feel it's so unfair and helpless ! Thanks.

[ashleypaige06]

First of all, im sorry for what youre going through. My coworker was 5 weeks behind me and miscarried at 13 weeks. She didnt expell everything, so she had to go in for a d&c. It was really hard to judge how to approach everything, and its hard to go to work only 3 days a week and not have others ask about my pregnancy and whats going on with things. Now that its been awhile, its still hard. She actually flat out told me how hard it is to work with me, and that she had to have a serious talk with god about how to cope. She said she understood that the situation was nobodys fault, and its not fair to be upset with me about having a healthy pregnancy.  Aside from workung with me, shes had a very hard time coping and barely works anymore.

Its a hard thing to deal with, and im not gonna lie, when we do work together, i try my best to not talk about thr pregnancy unless asked. Just try to help her through it by explaining its nobodys fault,  and a miscarriage is the bodys way of determining that the baby wasnt healthy. As hard as it is, it would have been harder having a full pregnancy and seeing her child suffer through whatever the situation may have been.

[precious_jewel1913]

Same thing happened with my sis nd i..she miscarried @ 9 weeks and i was 4 months..it was painful,but i let her kno how i felt.on the fact that it was hurting me also bcuse i wanted her bby nd mine to grow up togethee nd all tge plans..but all i told hee is to,stay,strong nd that l8r in she will have her lil one..goodluck do..stay strong fr her.nd dnt talk much abt ur pregnancy arnd her.unless she asks.it cld hurt her.

[flutterbies]

Thank you, I just can't imagine how she must be feeling, she's not up to visitors yet I just hope I don't constantly remind her of what she's lost, I feel kind of selfish as she has a little one already and she was always giving me advice as this is my first. But then I don't want her to feel she's excluded because of what happened but I think il just take one day at a time and see how it goes.

[Nellyzz]

wow 11weeks that's soo scary. Idk do the best you can to support her. try not to bring it up unless she does. I know when I miscarried it upset me when my friends would talk about their pregnancies. its not their fault but its just how you feel when you miscarry if you know what I mean.