my best friend has a 3 month old and i am fairly sure she is struggling from PPD. she has random break downs where she just starts crying for no reason..and she absolutely panics when her little one is sick. i mean like calling the doctor and asking if whatever she's sick with increases the risk of SIDS. she lets her daughters stuffy nose and things like that affect her emotionally. and she is showing signs of having somewhat of a hot temper.
the other night we were all having sitters for the kids and going out; she got really upset and started crying for no reason. she said she didnt feel like going anywhere and she was depressed.
or she'll call me and panic about her baby. she asks me question after question and i can tell sometimes it scares her because she doesn't feel as confident about her mothering capabilities as she should.
i guess what im saying is how can i tell her without hurting her feelings that she NEEDS to go back to her OB? and how can i help make it better? ive offered to babysit the baby and let her get out..but i just dont know how much that helps. any suggestions are welcome because ive never dealt with PPD personally and i know some of you ladies have and can share your experiences!!
Well, I was going to recommend "offer to watch the baby" but since you've tried that...I would say....maybe a girl's day out? She might feel guilty leaving the baby behind, so make it a point once..twice...three times a week to take her just the four of you; you, ariana, her and her baby...and get away for awhile. make it somewhere safe and comfortable where she may have opened up to you in the past. Idk about you but me and my friends have places we used to go growing up where we used to talk about EVERYTHING...maybe one of "those spots" would help her loosen up and talk...
I know it's hard but I would also recommending just level with her. say "I love you, you know that...and I am worried about you. you're such an amazing mother but I feel like you doubt yourself too much, and I think that you're making yourself more upset and more stresed by doubting yourself. I really think you should talk to your doctor about possible PPD because it's very hard to realize when you have it yourself, but doubting your mothering skills and worrying about your baby's health TOO much are big markers for PPD...and I just want you to be OK..."
I mean not exactly like that I'm a little freaked out about what Kahlan did today (it's on FB so I won't tell the story here, lol) so my mind is a little fuzzy....but that SORT of thing, you know? just honestly tell her that you love her and are worried and you will go with her to talk to the OB if she wants...but you really feel like she needs to speak to someone.
but I really think that the four of you going to a "safe place" together would be a great idea....maybe your house when Dh isn't home...because it won't be HER house, but it will feel safe and comfortable.
You're such a wonderful friend to think about her Rach and I really think that with your help she'll beat this...but just be honest and tell her what's concerning you, and try to keep her from withdrawing and locking herself in her house...don't even make it about "you need to get out!" just make it about "I'm feeling down and I'd love for you and *baby* to come over...it would really cheer ME up".
I had horrible PPD and I never had any friend say anything about it to me. In fact when I did go to the dr and started telling my friends they would get uncomfortable and change the subject. I think the best thing you could do is talk to her about PPD. I thought it was so taboo and I was really ashamed. I think it would have helped if just one person other than my dr would have told me it's ok to need help.
Good luck!!! Also MH has a great PPD support forum you may want to check out.
I know exactly how she feel's...When I was pregnant with my other 3 children ... I didn't want to admit that I needed help, I was scared my fiance ( now husband) would leave me.... Not to mention I am also bi polar and refused at that point to admit I needed medication....The best thing you can do to help, is just offer to talk to her... If she is stubborn ( like I was) she won't want to admit that she may need some help..... But if you are there for her the best you can be, and slowly work getting her help into your conversations, she may see the light.... It's very hard to admit you have a problem.. Or she may not even know.. She probably just thinks it is hormones..... If she needs someone to talk to you, you can always message my inbox and I'd be more than happy to talk with her ... Sometimes it helps to talk to someone who has experience in the same issue... Not saying that you don't, but sometimes even a total stranger can offer words of encouragement...... Good luck hon.
I don't have any suggestions bc i have never experienced it but I just wanted to say you are a wonderful friend to think of her and worry and try to help. Good luck, I hope she opens up and allows you to help and listens :)
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