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Avatar universal

long but i need advice...

so im going on 24 weeks now... my babys father cheated on me again and was also on drugs for atleast 2 months tht i can b sure of... about a week ago he barrowed my car nd lied about the reason to use it... broke the radio tire nd rim by driving drunk nd high on weed nd xanax... then he left his phone in my car nd thts how i found out about the cheating... he demanded i return it to him or he was coming over to get it nd since i didnt want him near my property i drove to drop it off to him.. as i did he was going thru withdrawl of xanax for sure nd possibly coke... so he was not in his right mind. since i flushed his blunt earlier tht day he sed it was my responisbility to go get him more nd i i refused. so i stepped out of the car with the keys in my hand after he talked about stealing my car if i didnt take him. so afte he finally  got the picture tht i wasnt going to take him to pick up his fix he proceeded to break my windsheild wiper stick, rip out my tape-deck, and punch my dash board til he got out of my car when his dad walked out.. i told his dad what happened and my bf called me a snitch, a b*****, a c*** and to then get off his property nd he kicked my car.. i called the police nd pressed charges. nd since he violated his probation hes now back in jail. (he's on probation for punching me in the face back in sept/2012). i wanna blame the drugs for his behavior but hes been obviously unbareable nd a liar nd a manipulator nd i pray my son is nothing like him wen he grows up.. y is it hes been gone almost a week nd i miss him? im depressed over a guy who beat me, cheated on me, broke my things, and put me at my lowest. i keep holding on to tht part of him tht i fell so madly inlove with. the person who isnt on drugs. any words help. sry for the long post, ive been putting off posting this for awhile now.
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Avatar universal
girl I've been EXACTLY in your shoes. my ex was a piece of **** meth head who did the same crap to me. i dont blame you for missing him because i did the same thing. they are amazing with words and the whole ” ive changed” story. he broke everything i owned, he was absolutely crazy but i loved him. it all takes time and you as a person have to gain the strength to move on.. it will probably be the hardeat thing you've ever done & you might cry .. a lot, but it will be better
Helpful - 0
4476664 tn?1361632949
Any man who punches you in the face (sober or intoxicated) is NEVER worth sticking around for.  Not to mention the cheating, not to mention not staying clean and sober for A: Himself and B: for someone who loves him and for someone he is supposed to love back and C: his unborn child. I'm sorry your going through this, but all that in the years......no go for me. You have to smart and strong for that baby. You cant stick around for that s***. Lying, cheating and outwardly abusive....you and NOBODY deserves that. By staying with him, your enabling him to keep thinkin its okay o disrespect you because you will stick around anyway. Give him something to think about....like getting as far away as you can with that baby. Obviously jail time and the law doesn't make him shape up. DON'T feel bad for him because he doesn't feel bad for you. Be strong and move on....you can do it.
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Avatar universal
Let your self free you know your better then that and you can't let that feeling go would you want baby to are this person violate your personal rights and take advantage of you again or destroy the only car you have to take baby to and from doctors visits family visits some times it is truly just better to let him suffer from his choices and let yourself hurt from heartbreak then to give some one the chance to scar your child for life
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Avatar universal
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Avatar universal
Trust me it's not easy! I agree with and see where angelab2012 is coming from because my mom was abused and i would try to jump in and he said sorry to the both of us and wouldn't do it again but on drugs he wasn't himself so when my friend hit me for the second time i knew i wasn't gonna take it cause even though i was little those beatings are images i will never forget.
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Avatar universal
thx ladies. im jus tired of hurting nd worried tht wen he gets out hell manipulate my heart into taking him back. swear hell change nd love me nd treat me right etc. hes good with words. hell tell me he wants to b a family nd idk how to b strong enough to say no u had chances
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Yess it gets better moving on...  I was in a mentally, physically and verbally abusive relationship for almost 12 yrs. I've got 2 kids with him and it's tougher having kids ur soo worth it. Your baby doesn't deserve to grow up in the volatile situation. Wish I'd stopped giving chances long before my girls in having issues with now I.  Counseling etc :( for not only ur sake but that babies get out in knowhow hard it is but it's the best in the end. Get good friends family and support to help you thru it'll get easier I promise. Not only that DCF ever get wind and they will get involved. My older daughter was only 5 days old he was pounding the hell out of me and I called the police when they got there they called DCF Bcuz my 5 day old who didn't realize anything at that point was exposed to it.. Then they questioned my boys who were 4 and 6 not something you want or need. Obviously I hadn't done anything wrong you've not either.. but GO many ways for the best....  Good luck :)
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Avatar universal
I now have somebody that loves me and that understands what i went through and loved me past my pain. I'm not gone say i don't ever think about "mr 9 years" because we had always wanted children but then i think of how he cheated on me when i was nothing but good to him and i look at my baby's father and my best friend and i know that leaving " Mr 9 years" was worth it because you should be happy in love instead of crying every night in sadness.
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Avatar universal
does it get better moving on?
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Avatar universal
Been there sweetie and it doesn't get easier when you let him back in. I was with mine for 9 years and I'm only 24 but love is love. You can't help who you love but if he loved you, like REALLY loved you he would never put his hands on you. Praying for you and your son or daughter.
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Avatar universal
yes it is.. i miss the him wen hes not on drugs cuz hes not like this. but weve been dating almost 3 years and he always relapses eventually. idk wut to do.. my head is saying leave but my heart is saying one more chance.
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Avatar universal
Is it him you miss..? Or is it that you miss having your unborn baby's dad around or someone there for you?

I kinda went through same situation and my mom put me in counseling and my counselor asked me these things and it hit me.. I don't know if I actually miss him.. Hope that helps a little..

And I'm sorry for whats going on! Must be so stressful!!! Praying for you
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