more love??

[HaYnSweetie]

An old woman told me today...

"if you think you are in love with your husband now, just wait until you have that baby. You are going to fall more in love with your husband after that baby is born."

Is that true?

[chantal21]

My husband is my best friend, and when we had our first baby, my love for him grew! It was crazy to look to at my husband and then look at our child and see a little bit of both of us in this little person. It's an amazing feeling.  Didn't think I would feel it twice, but when my 2nd came is was that incredible feeling all over again! I'm guessing it will happen all over again with this one as well. :)

[kamil119]

somebody once said, "we get our spouses for life, we only 'rent' children" If you think about it, children will leave your house someday and it will be just you two. So having a meaningful realtionship with your husband before kids is important, as having children can further complicate things if things are not perfect. Some people erroneously assume that having kids will 'fix' whatever is not working in their relationship, they can't be more wrong. But it's true, you see your spouse in your kids and suddenly you get that special unbreakable bond that only you two have.

[JustRenae]

well i dont have any kids but i do see things happen as to were people do split like that and then i do see couples grow closer together. i am married and we do want kids but just dont know if i want to be the one carrying the baby due to medical issues. but if i can see were you are coming from then i always have to be open minded and see were someone who is in a different situation is coming from because just because your married when you have a child dosent mean things of that sort dose not happen. alot of children grow up with step dad instead of dad. i understand what you saying because there are 6 of us and my mom and dad were married and my dad was always around and they were deeply in love until my father was killed. but then i have cousins or aunt or friends who are raising baby on their own or in a broken family. thats all that was being said. so you do have to open minded to both sides and not just one. and thats great this didnt happen to any of you but it does happen. thats why its always great when a women is strong independent and financially stable so if the man decides to leave then yes it will hurt but you will be settled enough that him leaving will not cause you to struggle. hope you understand a little better what i was saying now.

[cherylsangel]

Helllzzzzzz yeah that is true.....i didnt believe it until i had my son 3 months ago and i cannot believe how much love i have for this child...but it is a different love....different from your husbands love...its hard to put into words but you'll understand when you have your child!

[julianovak]

I dont know.... I never had a "teen" pregnancy, our child was really planned.... And we are MARRIED, I never saw having children out of wedlock an option for us.. I think being married and in love automatically gives you the stability you need.... IT would never be the "child" even in a marriage falling apart, more so they shouldve never married in the first place...

Anyways.. Just happy I have a husband who is my best friend, who i can rely on, I have a gorgeous daughter, and a little son who will be joining our family :o) My life is peachy :) I dont see the other side of it, I never have.

I feel bad for the baby daddys and the baby mommas.... obv their relationships fall apart, they were never strong enough to begin with. I think of Karma-thats all....

[amandamae1126]

Hey trying - haven't seen you in a while...how are you?! :)

[Tryingforbaby2]

Always remember that having a baby can definitely add stress to a relationship but it can also help you grow stronger. My husband had a hard time understanding why the baby cried so much in the beginning and had colic etc but in time he did really well. He loved him but it was harder for him than it was for me. We had known eachother for 14 years before my son was born and had been married for 3 yrs. He is 2 now and we love eachother and him more than ever. Your love continues to grow even though there will be some hard times.

[HaYnSweetie]

I dont believe a child ruins a relationship...if a couple blames their relationship failures on a child, i think that is just flat out ridiculous. Their relationship must not have been strong to begin with.
my hubby and i have a great relationship and i am so excited to see him with our son!
LOL Amanda that is adorable! My hubby is goofy silly like that too!

[sweetpea03]

Clysta said it well. If the couple already has a strong relationship, a baby will bring them closer. Just like any other major event in life, if you can get through it together as a couple, then it will bring them closer. When I had surgery, my boyfriend supported me through it all, and that brought us together much closer. Having a baby would do the same. Though if the relationship isn't great to begin with, the added stress of a baby or anything else major can cause them to be drive apart.

[Clysta]

Typically speaking though, if the couple is truly in love this won't happen. There are many situations (such as teen pregnancy) where yes the couple will split or if the couple has already have issues before-hand then a child could drive them apart. A child does put a great amount of stress on a relationship, but if the people in it really care about each other it doesn't matter.

[amandamae1126]

I think this is true when you have a strong marital relationship to begin with. Children do put a lot of stress on couples simply due to the time it takes to take care of kids (which means less time for relationship issues). I have seen MANY adult couples split after the birth of a child - but those people had rocky relationships to begin with. In fact, I never understood why they chose to have a child to start with...

But if you are in a stable relationship, I can see how this saying would be true. I'm having my first right now and I can already see me and hubby bonding more. I get new concerns and he gives the right answers, I imagine him holding our baby and it brings me to tears, and often he texts me the sweetest thing that just melts me all over again. (Last week he text me and said the song "tough little boys grow up to be dads" made him cry"....what a good hubby/daddy!)

And kinda off topic, but my hubby does have the best answers to my dumb questions. One of my favorites is when I asked him if he will love me when I get old - he says yes, of course. And I said, but what if I get alzheimers and forget who you are...what will you do then? And without missing a beat he said "I'll wear a name tag."  Could he be any more sweet?!

[JustRenae]

well its not immature its true you do have people out here who do feel that way it life and reality. everyones relationship isnt perfect and everyone is not the same. everyone has different experience. like most of the girls running around now with babies and they baby father is all in love while she prego and then when the baby come he runs out on her because all of a sudden he dont want a baby or what his issue was or some mothers who get scared and walk out on there kids. its reality sweetie not a state of being immature. and im intittled to my own opinion u may have fell in love while someone else may have gotten a divorce.

[julianovak]

HaY- You will love it :) ITs a great feeling....


And no, most families i know of arent "broken" up bc of the baby. Thats very immature to say. It has nothing to do with a child when a couple breaks up, NOTHING to do with the child. A relationship needs work whether you have 5 kids or no kids.

[Clysta]

I think it's true as well. I love my husband more than anything, but after I saw him play with our daughter and hold her when she sleeps I fell even more in love with him. Granted this doesn't happen with all couples, but in my own experience I know I did.

[JustRenae]

hopefully this is true for you and your husband but sadly for some people this is not the case some people have a kid and began to have less time for another either one is always working and the other is always with the baby or both are always working and when they do have time its time for the baby. i guess its all about rearranging your schedules. i wish you the best of luck.

and ps. just because someone dose not have a baby dose not mean that they are not as in love as someone with a baby ye si agree that in some cases a baby binds the two together but in some cases as well a baby breaks up the happy home simply because one out of the two just cant handel or adjust to the change.

[HaYnSweetie]

Im sssoooooo looking forward to that feeling (:

[julianovak]

YEP..... yep!!!! BECAUSE. nothing will bring you closer then having a child thats made from him and You. Honestly. You dont think you can love someone so much but you do.

All those couples that are in "love" dont know what love is, til they have kids of their own.