ohh crap i need HELP

[rnh3290]

ok before i even explain the situation, ima say this. i f*ucked up big time, and i made a stupid mistake. i already know this, and i accept it, so please refrain from telling me that. ok any ways, just last nite i was with soem friends and i had sex with my friends bf's cousin. we used no condom, and he came at least twice without even pulling out, he came and he would continue. Now im not sure to the exact date, but im pretty sure that i ovualte between the 17-21 ( or 23, of every month. we had sex on easter sunday nite. which was the 23. What my question is, being that it was only a few days after ovulation, is it possible i can be pregnant? Also my period is due on the 2nd of april, and if i do have a period, is it possible to still be pregnant? i also have  a 3rd question: The day after i had sex i noticed that inside of my clit or watever that area is called, is hard now. it wasnt hard b4 i had sex with that guy. so what is that?

[rnh3290]

you are very right.  i love to read and write. writing is my life, and im the host of my schools tv show, and ive had a taste of that kind of journalism and i loved it!  iw ould love to be  a reporter for a news station, or even have my own colom in a magazine!! and while a baby would NOT ruin my life ( i absolutley HATE wen ppl say that) it would slow me down just a little. but i would most likely do alot better in life because then i would have a little child watching my every move, looking up to me and learning from my own mistakes. i would have to set an example so wen my baby gets old enuff i can tell her, to finish school and go on to college to get a good education the way her mother did. she wont be able to say, 'why should i do it if u didnt" and thanks so much for the advice im not offended at all

[sweetangel7]

You are the only one who can decide what is right for you at this point.  However, this is just my opinion, I would seriouosly consider the 'morning after pill'.  You said that you were accepted in to journalism school, and I think that would be a great way to add to your life and your ability to provide for a child and for yourself.  You obviously seem very passionate and talented when it comes to literacy so I think that you should follow your strengths and pursue this field.  I'm not much older than you BUT I am not the same person I was at 18 and I am thankful that I focused time on myself and my education.  I hope you aren't offended by this but it is just my opinion and you will need to do what is right for you because you are the only one who knows what that is.  Good luck in your decision.

[nsrchofbaby]

Well, whatever you decide to do, make sure it's what you feel is right for you. I'm glad you're prepared to take responsibility for your actions. You're not pregnant yet, the egg has not had enough time to implant itself into your uterus so there's still time. Either way, I wish you the best of luck and hope everything works out for the best.

[rnh3290]

well i found out that the morning after pill is available at any pharmacy for any one over 18 with a picture id. but im soo confused right now. cuz im not really sure i wanna do that now. like i was soo against being pregnant, and i still dont want one. but i feel that if i am pregnant, than it happened for a reason, and having a baby right now wouldnt be a mistake, just a very early gift. and i dont even think i could give it up for adoption, the baby would be my blood, my child my responsibility, all i can do is deal with what happens in a mature adult way and stop letting others get me down. i cant change what already happened but i can change the future by being more responsible and accepting whatever comes from this.

[nsrchofbaby]

I'm happy to hear that and it sounds like you're feeling a little better...now it's time to focus on the course of action you're going to take. It may not be too late to try the EC pill. Call planned parenthood, it's confidential and they can help you figure out what your immediate options are. Good luck : )

[rnh3290]

ahh ur right. no i know u werent attaacking me its just i didnt feel it was racist since im black myself and i was talking about myself. but there are some ppl who mite be offended and i apologize 2 them if it did cuz i certainly didnt mean it that way. and thats good advice, next  time theres something i dont agree with im going to just try my best 2 ignore it and focus on the many other positive comments ( which there are plenty of)

[nsrchofbaby]

I really hope you don't think I was attacking you in any way, that was not my intention. And yes, I do see why you would think some people are judging you but here's my advice, read the posts and ignore anything you don't think is useful. Most people on here sincerely want to help. As far as the comment, someone might be offended at the generalization or stereotype that it entails...maybe you didn't mean it that way but that's the way it comes off.

[rnh3290]

how is that racist and im talking about myself? thats basically how i was being treated like i dont know wat im talking about. while it may have been unnessacery it wasnt racist in my opinion. and there are many unnessary comments made on here. and ive been nothing but respectful, or ive tried anyway, and alot of these people make it very hard. damn i seriously wish u guys would put yourself in my shoes for one hot minute. would u appreciate being talked down to?

[nsrchofbaby]

I think that no one here is anyone to judge you and I agree, we all deserve respect no matter what mistakes we make in life. But, you may want to think about the things you say or post on here, "i mean ur not talking to a dumb lil black girl from the projects some where"---that was just an unnecessary, racist comment. Don't demand respect when you aren't dishing it out yourself. No one here claims to be perfect, but sometimes you have to take in the good with the bad when you're putting your life out there. I really do hope you get the help you need. Take care and God Bless.

[cntrygrlluvin]

if we never make mistakes we will never learn anything. No one comes into this world perfect. When I was younger I had sex with guys because I thought they liked me. And when I was 16 I had sex with a 23 year old. I've grown up a little bit since then. I've learned from my mistakes. My life was also hard. I was molested from 2-18. It caused me to act up and become immature about sex and what it really means to "care" about myself. Since I've grown up, I'm not dealing with the abuse, which was only 2 years ago.
But I still made a few mistakes.

I've learned soo much from it. And, the getting made fun of constantly made me a stronger person. Yes, their are times I mess up. But I'm only human and so is rnh3290.

And, if someone wants to say something about this, then well say it. Send me a message if you want. I'll only repeat what I just said. For those who have been helpful to her, then ya'll are some special people. No judgement is needed and ya'll stepped in and helped like this forum is made for.



If you need anything hun just send me a message and I'll help you the best I can.
Hope for the best =]]

[rnh3290]

look as ive stated b4 i know i messed up right? for those of u who have actually posted helpful responses i really appreciate it. you are right i did realize my mistake a minute to late and im now tryna prevent this mess from hapening again. i do not have sex with"random" guys. the past posts have been about 1 guy that i have BEEN messing with for years,( and im friends with) and the other one was about a boyfriend ( who i broke up wit after valentines day). and this one is the ONLY real mistake ive made. and to kelly, i am currently taking ur advice and i bought a few boxes of condoms just in case, and im on the nuva ring right now. but as to the narcotics comment, those i was NOT taking for recreational use. i had a spinal fusion last feburary and im still having real bad pain from it, and i was at a pain clinic who was providing me with medication until childrens could help me out. i didnt even like taking them so i only took them wen i was in alot of pain. it does seem like i have spontaoues sex, but not with random guys i will have yall know. althou my actions seem "loose" im not a hoe in any way shape or form. theres a diff between behaving like one and being one. i realize my mistakes and sometimes i make them 3 or 4 times before i actually LEARN from them! im human just like everyone else. and i was not raised without morals obviously, or i wouldnt be feeling so bad about all this. my mom raised me right, and it was my OWN decisioion to mess it up. im not a bad person at all. im actually going somewhere with my life, ive already been accepted into robert moriss to major in journalism. ive been in countless oratorical and essay contests and ive won them ALL! so i mean ur not talking to a dumb lil black girl from the projects some where.

and for those of you who are being ignorant, since your life is soo perfect and youve never messed up or made one mistake in your life, i would appreciate it if you at leasts pretended to know what its like to do something you regret. i am trying my best to get to the point to where i dont wanna have sex at all until i find someone i love. and i honestly beat myself up every day for the **** ive done. but im tired of crying aobut it and im tired of people tryna make me feel bad wen i feel horrible already! i kno this sounds dumb but i acutally have feelings, and they get hurt wen people like speakyourmind act like theyre GOD and try and judge. i kno ive ****** up alot. it mite take something like pregnancy or (god forbid) a disease to make me learn my lesson. like someone said previously, there is a NICE way u can say things. and i do try and have respect for myself. but u gotta understand its hard to respect urself when youve been ****** with and made fun of and talked about all your life... so just please all im asking for is advice ok? not judgement

[loismwallace]

I haven't read rnh's previous posts, but I can say that I have tracked ovulation to PREVENT pregnancy as a back up method ofcourse. If you read her journal, she did start using the ring the same day she had sex with this man. So it appears to me she is trying to take the proper precautions.

I would suggest a condom as well since you are having spontaneous sex, but I'm sure that has already crossed your mind.

[KellyA74]

I just looked at old posts and SPEAKINGYOURMIND is right in saying that this has been going on for a while......I'm not judging you in any way, previously I tried to offer you helpful info. and hope that it was of some use.  I'm just confused as to why on 1/24 you thought that you were pregnant, again on 2/2 and now.  I'm not lecturing at all, but you really need to get on the pill or Nuva (sp?) ring as you stated that you were in previous posts......That way you can be worry free as far as pregnancy goes.  Best Wishes.

[SPEAKYOURMIND]

WHY WOULD SHE BE CONINUOUSLY TRACKING HER OVULATION IF SHE DIDNT WANT TO FALL PREGNANT?

IF THIS WAS REALLY THE CASE SHE WOULD NOT HAVE SEX OR PROTECT HERSELF.

SHE HAS POSTED SEVERAL TIMES ON THIS FORUM ADMITTING TO SLEEPING WITH RANDOM GUYS AND EVEN USING NARCOTICS WHEN TRYING FOR A BABY.

I FEEL SORRY FOR ANY CHILD WHO IS BROUGHT INTO THE WORLD WITH AS LITTLE MORALS AND SELF RESPECT AS THIS.

[carissarae]

i realize this is a forum and everyone is entitled to their opinion, but i have read your responses to other peoples questions, and there is a way to be NICE when you are giving your opinion.  all of your responses are rude, people come here to get help, not get snotty rude responses that make them sound like they are stupid.  obviously they realize what they did was wrong and they are seeking our help and to give them good choices to make in the future. you should read your responses and put yourself in the others shoes and see if thats how you would want others to respond to you in your time of need. i highly doubt you would appreciate that "opinion", there are more tactful ways to speak your mind...

rnh- there is a possibility of getting pregnant if you did ovulate within a few days of you having sex.  since you arent trying for a baby, id definately get on some birth control in case something like this happens again! good luck!

[Praying4MiniMe]

Honestly people, everyone makes mistakes, can't we just be supportive this time? I think she understands that she messed up. Now she is trying to take charge of her actions. I'm not saying that we can all have sex with random people and be okay, but honestly, I know I have messed up in the past. It happens. But now she just needs some support.

[SPEAKYOURMIND]

YOU HAVE BEEN TOLD TIME AFTER TIME TO PROTECT YOURSELF AND HAVE NEVER LISTENED, NOT ONCE.

THERE IS ONLY SO MUCH ADVICE PEOPLE WILL BE WILLING TO GIVE.

IF YOU ARE THAT WORRIED, TAKE A TEST IN A WEEK AND GET ON BIRTH CONTROL AND ALSO USE A CONDOM.

YOU COULD GET AIDS AND DIE. DO YOU NOT THIN K OF THAT?

[Shannon125]

Like some of the other posters said, I would seek out a planned parenthood and buy a morning after pill. I'm pretty sure you can go to any pharmacy as well and purchase this at the pharmacy counter too. I think it became over the counter but I'm not quite sure so don't quote me. I would also suggest getting checked out for a sexually transmitted disease. While we all make mistakes, it's still better to be safe than sorry. I would hate to see you pay for a mistake we have all made in our lives for the rest of your life because you did not get checked for STDs. It may seem like an expense to you right now but consider the alternatives in the long run. It's well worth whatever it would cost. Additionally, while I am not judging you at all, if you do go to planned parenthood perhaps you could seek out some birth control pills or free condoms or something to avoid this from happening in the future. Good luck to you

[rnh3290]

again. please if it aint nice or even decent, dont say it all. im tired of telling grown women this. i am 18 yrs old and i still have enuff respect for ppl not to say mean judgmental things like that. i kno i ****** up ok? so u dont have to keep repeating it for me. i am trying to "respect" my elders but ppl like u make it damned hard. please stop ok? im already beatin myself up over it, i dont need u to help me theres a diff between bein a ***** and speaking ur mind ok ladies?

[Praying4MiniMe]

I believe the morning after pill has to be taken within 72 hours. So if you decide to go that route, it has to be today, no later than tomorrow (unless I have my days screwed up again.)  Anyhow...like a previous poster had said...many people try for months even years to fall pregnant, so maybe you lucked out this time. And again, everyone makes mistakes. If God intends you to have a child this time, you will, if not, than you won't. Everything happens for a reason. I as well have decided to wait on the child issue. I need to reconsider a lot of things, but sometimes things happen. Either way, you will be okay and you will never be alone in the situation. You are all of us crazy girls on here, so a hormonal roller coaster and some just loopy like myself. But either way, we are hear to listen to you. Good luck and I hope everything goes the way you would like!

[sexyhot_dandy]

like 30 bucks or so depends where u r good luck

[rnh3290]

how much does morning after pill cost?

[k1974]

If it is very important to you that you NOT be pregnant, I would suggest that you find a resource for the morning after pill.  Where I live it is available at Planned Parenthood, at most hospitals, and probably at a ton of other places.  This pill will prevent a fertilized egg from implanting in the lining of the uterus.  You should also consider being tested for STD's while you're there, just to protect yourself and your future fertility.

Don't forget, the morning after pill is most effective the sooner you take it! Don't waste any time, get on the phone and find a provider quickly.

[loismwallace]

Sweetie, many of us have done the same thing you have we are just too ashamed admit it. Don't feel bad about what you've done. We are only human. Unfortunately, I have to agree with everyone else. There is always a possiblity for pregnancy with unprotected sex. While it may not even be the case, you may want to be tested for a sexually transmitted disease. Along with unprotected sex, comes many other risks other than pregnancy. I hope everything turns out alright for you. Lots of luck!