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1428239 tn?1333457053

ot- clingy baby - not sleeping in crib

starting on saturday, my baby (who is now 4 weeks old) has been really clingy and wont sleep on her own..  she has been sleeping on her own always.. now i put her down and 15-30 mins she is up.. then she passes out right away again when held then again when put down again same thing..  i have tried putting her down right away, holding her for 15-30 mins then trying.... i watched her for a bit and she kept flinging her limb waking herself up so we swaddle her, it might no difference, even if she wasnt moving it was the same amount of time..  but when i hold her, she will sleep for hours (as i passed out with her  bed asi was exhausted)..

we have also warmed up her blankets in the drawer...  this am, she slept on the mattress beside me for 2 hrs (with only my hand on her belly) and thats about the best we have got so far..

any suggestions would be great.. as well, has anyone gone through this.. was it a phase.... i just really dont want to do bed sharing because i dont want her to sleep with us forever.. and because in the early days when she was in her own bed, i would wake up in a crazy sweat because i kept having nightmares that i had rolled on her and killed her... now i literally dont move when shes on me and wake up pretty easily if she squirms but still scary
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1428239 tn?1333457053
Yeah it seems to be staying asleep that is the issue for her right now...  I do pretty much all the night work because my husband works and I breastfeed...  

The rountine is generally change her, then she cuddles with daddy while I wash my hands and use the washroom then she feeds.. then I rock and sing to her also always the same song then we cuddle for about 10 minutes after feeding (that may be the issue but I found the few times i moved her right away, she spit up but she doenst spit up if we wait that time out)..  usually by then she is asleep already or dozed off then I would put her back in her bed.... and until Saturday she would then sleep for another 2-3 hours... We even got 5 hours out of her once...

But now she goes into her bed and 20 mins later, she is fussy then crying.. I pick her up and bam back to sleep.. its a vicious cycle..

she is a particular one at times, she sometimes like the rocking chairs, other times she requires being rock standing...  

Perhaps Ill try getting her in the bassinet in the dozing off phase before she fully passes out (which wont always be possible as sometiems its immediate after the feeding).. but its definitely something to keep in mind.
Helpful - 0
405370 tn?1332206110
  Well, my daughter was a tough one.  She woke up every two hours to eat until she was four months old!  She also had reflux.  :(  What I had to do right away (I think around four weeks or five weeks old) is make sure she goes into her bassinet almost sleeping, very drowsy, but not sleeping.  I never had a rocking chair and her first time ever being rocked to sleep was when she was five months old in a nursery.  lol Getting to sleep wasn't the problem, just staying asleep.  Oh, and also when she got up every two hours, my husband and I did the same thing no matter who took the feeding:  feed, burp, change, one song (same song) and bed-whether she was awake or asleep by then.

She still goes to bed awake now and I'm very happy I did that when she was so young.  That's my two cents. =)  
Helpful - 0
1035252 tn?1427227833
That's what I would recommend...when it comes to newborn sleep do what works!!! It won't be forever, and newborns that co-sleep usually don't turn into infants or toddlers that co-sleep..you would be AMAZED how many co-sleep for that initial stage than never again :-).

And if you want to try moving the crib right next to your bed (or the pack-n-play dealy) I recommend trying that as well. When we moved our son into his crib, his crib was still in our room (when he was 9 months) and if he got fussy I just laid my arm through the bars in his crib and he would cuddle up to my arm and I'd go back to sleep lol.
Helpful - 0
1428239 tn?1333457053
her crib is in our room.. like heather our pack and play has a bassinet attachment which is what she was sleeping n until last ight.. saturday when it started, she was sill using it but she  islong and loves to kick so she started being able to kick the end of it and it was waking her.. so we thought we would try the bigger bed..  maybe tonight ill try the bassinet again right by the bed or move my night stand and put everything there...

the thing is i dont put her down and expect her to sleep on her own... she has always required being rocked to sleep ....  for now i guess i wont stress future transitions and just keep trying to put her do and if it fails then we can bed share for now...
Helpful - 0
964234 tn?1331949207
You were right Ivy!  At least when they are smaller you can just nap when they nap stay in your PJs all day and they are not running around/needing entertainment.   Now my son has been waking during the night here and there because of his molars.  Then he is up bright and early running around before I can even have my coffee and I am lucky if he naps at all.  I want my little newborn back haha :)  Actually, I really want another baby... but we are going to wait until Franky turns 2.  
Helpful - 0
287246 tn?1318570063
We must have all been typing at the same time.  LOL!

Something else Heather said that I wanted to mention is that you always hear about self soothing, blah blah.  But babies are not born with that ability.  So needing to be rocked or soothed to sleep is very normal at this early age.
Helpful - 0
287246 tn?1318570063
This is pretty normal for this age.  And I went through this recently when my son was about 6 weeks old.  As soon as I laid him down, he'd literally wake up.  I could barely eat or shower and I have a lot of other kids to take care of as well, so it was REALLY hard.  I thought I might go nuts for a couple of weeks, but then it stopped and he will now take naps, although how long does vary.

Remember that they are really used to confined spaces and like and need to be held.  It's just feels good to them I think and that makes sense.  Try swaddling her also.  My son liked that but he is huge now.  He is too big to be swaddled.  LOL!

Also, have you tired a swing or bouncer?  Mine now likes his swing, but sometimes if they are too young, it kind of scares them so if you try the swing, I would put it on a low/slow setting and just see how she does.

Don't worry.  This is just a phase.  I do co-sleep some and always have with my other kids.  I put Joseph in his own space/bed to begin with at night, but once he wakes up, I do put him in bed with me.  I nurse and it just helps me to get a little bit of sleep.  Then sometimes I put him in his swing in the middle of the night if he gets fidgety and that helps us both to get some sleep.  There for a while, he was waking so much when I put him down, I had to let him sleep on my chest.  It was the ONLY way for me to get any sleep at all.

Okay, I am now writing a novel.  Sorry :)  Try swaddling and having her in a slightly inclined position and that should help hopefully.  Also just remember that she is going to go through phases of sleeping better than others.  She is only 4 weeks old so still pretty new, but it will get better.  Hang in there.  I know you are tired.
Helpful - 0
1035252 tn?1427227833
Lol Heather! I think I warned you that you would miss the old days when Mister started walking ;-)

But I agree with Heather. And it doesn't sound like reflux if she's just fussy about it. 4wks is super early for her to be sleeping regularly, or easily...this is the time when you should still be sleep deprived, unfortunately.

my first baby was a HORRIBLE sleeper, which is how she ended up in our bed....but my 2nd baby was a dream...he slept like a rock. It just depends on the baby and like Heather said she's still getting used to the outside world.

Is her crib in your room? if you don't have a bassinet that's another option.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
My son did that for a few months. By the time he turned 4 months he was back sleeping in his crib with no problems. Our pediatrician told us it was just a phase and now at 11 months he doesn't want to sleep anywhere but his room!                                                                                                                      
Helpful - 0
964234 tn?1331949207
I had a very needy, fussy newborn, who only slept and 1-2 hour intervals if that until he was about 6-8 weeks old.  He has now turned into the most pleasant and happy toddler.  I kept him in a bassinet (pack n play attachment) beside my bed until he was about 8 weeks.  At that point he started sleeping 5-6 hours strait and I started putting him in his crib with the baby monitor on instead.  I think 4 weeks old is very young to have an expectations as far as sleep patterns, or neediness at that age parents just have to go with the flow.  She is still getting used to being in the outside world.  Have you tried swaddling her so she feels secure before placing her down?  I know this helped calm my baby when he was a newborn and help him sleep comfortably.  At this young age many babies need rocking or touch to be able to fall asleep. Once they are a little older and able to sleep for longer periods on their own, then start a routine to help establish what bedtime is.... and you can start sleep training her how to fall asleep on her own.  Also, another thing that I think helped is have her nap during the day in the light in a swing or bassinet in the light with noise around.  Then at night keep everything dim and talking to a minimum.  I think this really helped my little guy tell the difference between night and day and help him get to sleeping all the way through the night.  I never had my son in the bed with me for the same reasons as you.... but I think you can get a co sleeper for the middle of your bed that is baby safe.  If not just keep her beside your bed in a bassinet so she knows you are close by.  Good luck I know it's exausting having a newborn.  Now that my son is older and just started walking I find myself wishing for the days of a smaller baby LOL  :)
Helpful - 0
1428239 tn?1333457053
she will sleep fine for first bit then when she does get up, its starts out with her just fussing then crying eventually...    when i was watching her from just a bit away, at first she was just waking up looking around, closing her eyes, then waking up again, then she would fuss a bit, close her eyes... then wake up then look around, close her eyes, then fuss, etc....  
Helpful - 0
1035252 tn?1427227833
First of all if you do end up bed sharing for awhile don't worry; while you hear the occasional story of a baby having difficulty transitioning, the great majority move into their own beds and rooms quite easily. My daughter co-slept with us exclusively and moved into her own bed at 17 months no problem, and now as a 3 year old sleeps in her own bed in her own room without any issue. And my son exclusively bed-shared until 9/10 months and moved into his own bed with no problem.

But...as for the sleeping...does she CRY when you put her down, or just wake up and fuss? Sounds like she may have reflux....very often babies won't show any sign until they're laid flat, and then they'll become uncomfortable (just like pregnancy heartburn) when they're too flat.
Helpful - 0
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