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Avatar universal

single mum?

My ex doesnt kno if this babys his and wants a dna i kno its his as i havnt slept with anyone else its strange with him he will txt me sayin he loves me but as soon as i talk about the baby he blanks me...yesterday i asked him if hes told anyone and he said hes waitin to see if im pregnant it really upset me hes makin me out to be a liar n a slag :( of course he said if the babys his he will stick around but hes already got another kid he doesnt see wud i be better off as a single parent i dont kno if i can do this alone!!!
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Avatar universal
And as for the DNA ive said he can have one as long as he pays for it...ive done nothing wrong!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Ive took all ur advice and not spoke to him hes txt me everyday askin if im oki ive let him kno i am fine and that is it i will let him kno about appointments and if anything happens but thats it now thanks for all ur advice
Helpful - 0
1901977 tn?1333991726
I agree with all the ladies. But really, the main concern right now is you as a pregnant woman, who needs a guy bringing you stress and pain when you could be celebrating the life of a beautiful little baby? Getting rid of him will be tough but not as tough as if you keep him around and he makes this pregnancy a miserable experience for you.

My ex almost got this conversation, and if necessary he still will, though for right now he's actually being good...if he chooses to make this a stressful thing for me, he's a problem and I don't need him. He can back off and let me enjoy this, if he's only going to be stressful to me. They respect you more when you don't go back, don't need them. You do deserve to be treated with, at minimum, respect because you are the mother of his child.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
@LosingMyMind -- hear hear!

Nothing you can say or do will make this guy grow up. He has to do that himself. But there ARE things you -- and the state -- can do to make him man up a little. He wants a DNA test? Heck, I'd do it. Let him know EXACTLY what he's missing and get on with your life. Be sure to tell him you're filing for child support as well.

If he wants to suck it up, be there for you and prove himself as a father, terrific. You'll be a lucky lady. But you are not a door mat or a plaything, you are the mother of his child. Don't think for a second that you have to wait around for him to catch up.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Sweetie just think to yourself you're not alone! I'm 23 having my first child and the father of my child tells me how much he loves me and can't wait to marry me one day and treats me like I'm some kind of side girl the next day.  I had enough! I stopped talking to him for short periods for the simple fact that I could feel everything in my belly and recently its been three weeks and I haven't talked to him and I feel great! You have to remain strong remember its your baby feeling this why would you want to put your little blessing through so much stress when its so little? Yes I am having this baby alone there is plenty of people that would love to support you and the baby doesn't need a father who isn't loving in their life a father brother uncle cousin or friend can play the male role in the babies life
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I'm going through a similar situation except the guy ultimately dumped me when I told him. I am 3 months with out any make role model. Believe me, its the hardest thing, but I am way better off and so is my baby. I have grown into a more mature person through this as well. And so will you. My recommendation is to move on. There should be no question as to who the real father is.
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Avatar universal
I kno ur right hes treated my like dirt.our whole relationship we have been o n off for a year now bt i love him so much he only has to click his fingers n hes got me back but its different now i wont go back again for my babys sake! we deserve better :(
Helpful - 0
202436 tn?1326474333
Let me speak from experience:  Regardless of what this shmuck you call a boyfriend does, once you take a look at that precious little baby, you will do anything and everythign within your power to give that child a good life - with or without a man.  My oldest has not seen her father since the day she was born.  Now, 15 years later - a husband that took her in when she was 3 and 4 other kids later...I wouldn't change it.  She is FAR better off without him than with him.  He and I still have mutual friends although WE do not communicate.  If your boyfriend is starting this junk already then it sounds to me like he's not going to be great in the role model for your child department.  It's this type of man that generally turns out to be the "full of broken promises, whenever it suits me, I'll see you" kind of father.  You are getting the little red flags popping up all over the place, pay attention to them.  Do what YOU need to do for you and the baby and let this guy worry about himself.  Good luck!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I kno im goin to do everything in my power to make this baby happy i just dnt wana.it to be without a father i dont want to force him in to anything bt hes the one txtin me askin if im oki askin about appointments then next thing hes ignorin me its jus messin with my head i suppose my babys better off without him i will give him a chance wen the babys here bt as soon as he lets him/her down hes a goner! my baby deserves better
Helpful - 0
1901977 tn?1333991726
I agree, this is one of those situations where it's good to stand on your own. If he decides to take responsibility, he has to come to that decision and take action. You can't control another person's actions, and worrying about him right now will just stress you out. I speak from very recent experience here, since I'm about to become a single mom too.  My ex isn't denying this baby, but I'll likely be doing most of it alone, that's just the life of a single mom. It is a very scary idea, but just love your baby and trust in the amazing things that you are capable of doing because of that love.  

I have a friend whose child's father hasn't seen the baby since the hospital when she was born.  Four years later that child is one of the most wonderful, happy little girls, and my friend says that she can only feel sorry for him for missing out on the joy her daughter brings.  She calls her "my blessing." You can't make him be a father in any way but the financial sense; all you can do is focus on being the best mother possible for your baby.
Helpful - 0
1926783 tn?1329945412
You would be surprised what you can do. & you don't know until you do it. If you believe Yiu can then Yiu can . But if he has any doubts then he obviously doesn't trust you . Which is already a bad start. But he already doesn't have a great track record with the previous baby.  I would say go with your gut. But know tht you CAN do it (:
Helpful - 0
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