Aa
2nd pregnancy and lost...
So I have a 2 1/2 year old son whom I love and adore with everything I have. I honestly think I could be the happiest i've ever been if it were just my son, myself and my dog.
But i'm pregnant again. Too far along to do anything I believe. I never really wanted kids to begin with. I took being pregnant with my son as a sign from God even though im not religious, simply bc had I not gotten pregnant, I would have never left my ex and i'd be strung out on heroin right alongside him.
This time though, I just feel eh about the whole situation. Everybody already knows and they're super excited but im not, and they make me feel bad about that. My sister has already started buying small things for me, and I even bought a srt of bottles & nipples bc I feel like I have no choice but to go along with this.
My boyfriend wants this baby more than anything. And he makes me feel guilty for not wanting it. He wont let me put it up for adoption, and he got pissed when I said he could take the baby and raise it on his own and my son & I could go our own way. My mom got pissed too.
I really feel bad bc im afraid something will be wrong with this baby bc of how I feel. And I feel bad bc I don't want it. But its just how I feel and I dont know what to do.
Has anyone else been through something similar to this? I really need someone to talk to that actually understands.
But i'm pregnant again. Too far along to do anything I believe. I never really wanted kids to begin with. I took being pregnant with my son as a sign from God even though im not religious, simply bc had I not gotten pregnant, I would have never left my ex and i'd be strung out on heroin right alongside him.
This time though, I just feel eh about the whole situation. Everybody already knows and they're super excited but im not, and they make me feel bad about that. My sister has already started buying small things for me, and I even bought a srt of bottles & nipples bc I feel like I have no choice but to go along with this.
My boyfriend wants this baby more than anything. And he makes me feel guilty for not wanting it. He wont let me put it up for adoption, and he got pissed when I said he could take the baby and raise it on his own and my son & I could go our own way. My mom got pissed too.
I really feel bad bc im afraid something will be wrong with this baby bc of how I feel. And I feel bad bc I don't want it. But its just how I feel and I dont know what to do.
Has anyone else been through something similar to this? I really need someone to talk to that actually understands.
I can't believe these woman are being so rude there is no reason that we can't offer words of wisdom and support instead of criticism if you have nothing nice to say how about moving on to the next post without commenting.
anyways hun I think the circumstances in which you got pregnant are a part of these feelings especially because you've been trying to get out of this relationship and now you feel trapped but no body can force you to be with them we all deserve happiness so if he won't peacefully leave your house you can go to the court serve him an eviction notice and after 30 days he can be removed with a police escort just an option.
Now about feeling that you can't love this child as much as your son i get it this baby is my second and she was very planned and even still I've had my concerns because my son is my everything I can't imagine loving anyone else like that so much that I've talked with my mom about it that had 3 kids and she says your heart somehow just expands almost and you just have enough room to love them both just as much and I trust she's right several other mothers have told me the same so if that's your main concern try to wait and see. Honestly honey from some of your posts you sound to me like a great mom and you seem to want so desperately not to feel this way which tells me your going to be OK I would definitely talk to your Dr and seek counseling so you can talk this out with an outside opinion and try not to rush into a decision you have time and if after the baby's born you feel you can't care for it like you do your son than make necessary decisions don't let anybody guilt you into making decisions your not comfortable with only you know what you feel and are capable of.
I wish you the best of luck and will send prayers your way don't let anyone make you feel bad for what you feel it's not your fault you feel this way I'msure if it was up to you you would be excited. Good luck honey how it all works out.
anyways hun I think the circumstances in which you got pregnant are a part of these feelings especially because you've been trying to get out of this relationship and now you feel trapped but no body can force you to be with them we all deserve happiness so if he won't peacefully leave your house you can go to the court serve him an eviction notice and after 30 days he can be removed with a police escort just an option.
Now about feeling that you can't love this child as much as your son i get it this baby is my second and she was very planned and even still I've had my concerns because my son is my everything I can't imagine loving anyone else like that so much that I've talked with my mom about it that had 3 kids and she says your heart somehow just expands almost and you just have enough room to love them both just as much and I trust she's right several other mothers have told me the same so if that's your main concern try to wait and see. Honestly honey from some of your posts you sound to me like a great mom and you seem to want so desperately not to feel this way which tells me your going to be OK I would definitely talk to your Dr and seek counseling so you can talk this out with an outside opinion and try not to rush into a decision you have time and if after the baby's born you feel you can't care for it like you do your son than make necessary decisions don't let anybody guilt you into making decisions your not comfortable with only you know what you feel and are capable of.
I wish you the best of luck and will send prayers your way don't let anyone make you feel bad for what you feel it's not your fault you feel this way I'msure if it was up to you you would be excited. Good luck honey how it all works out.
Again, thank you to all the ladies for the support and encouragement. Its really appreciated. I def don't feel so alone now in my feelings. Today is a much better day than the past couple of weeks have been going, so im hoping thats a sign that things are turning around.
Im pretty sure adoption is out of the question, and I know abortion is bc 1) im too far along to do it and 2) I don't think I could go through with it. I'm just gonna take it day by day and work towards bettering things in my life. And once im able to get into my dr, im def going to be mentioning my feelings to her. My mom was extremely worried id have PPD with ny first, but I breezed right through everything. This time, im concerned for myself.
Im ab to start doing some repairs to my house, and then I get to start the new babys room. Hopefully that'll cheer me up some bc I didnt get to do all of that with my son since I was in a completely different situation at that time in my life.
Im pretty sure adoption is out of the question, and I know abortion is bc 1) im too far along to do it and 2) I don't think I could go through with it. I'm just gonna take it day by day and work towards bettering things in my life. And once im able to get into my dr, im def going to be mentioning my feelings to her. My mom was extremely worried id have PPD with ny first, but I breezed right through everything. This time, im concerned for myself.
Im ab to start doing some repairs to my house, and then I get to start the new babys room. Hopefully that'll cheer me up some bc I didnt get to do all of that with my son since I was in a completely different situation at that time in my life.
Both control or not... you are a adult and know the consequence of sexual intercourse.
Omg I am so sorry I meant I see you are** genuinely. Stupid auto correct.
I I think you deserve kudos for being open and honest. It takes a lot to share that kind of feeling. I think that you will do whatever you feel is best for you and your family. I wish you the best of luck. Maybe try to see this as another sign from God. :) I'd highly suggest looking at like an IUD or a more permanent solution so you aren't faced with the same situation in the future. Also, thank you for not getting an abortion. I see you aren't really genuinely trying to do the right thing. You will be in my thoughts.
Maybe counseling is a good idea.
You could be at risk for post partum depression if nothing changes, and that will be worse than what you are feeling now.
Maybe you and your best friend can write to each other? Accent wont get in the way and you get to take your time and let it all out.
I felt the same way about marriage/relationships- even friends in general, but just bc your parents didn't work and neither did other marriages you saw doesn't mean that it isn't possible. There are reasons why relationships fail, and you seem careful/smart enough to determine if ya'll really have a shot. There are good guys out there- aren't you in the process of raising one :)?
Maybe there is some kind of pregnancy group that you can get into in your city. You could make friends and it might help you get excited.
You could be at risk for post partum depression if nothing changes, and that will be worse than what you are feeling now.
Maybe you and your best friend can write to each other? Accent wont get in the way and you get to take your time and let it all out.
I felt the same way about marriage/relationships- even friends in general, but just bc your parents didn't work and neither did other marriages you saw doesn't mean that it isn't possible. There are reasons why relationships fail, and you seem careful/smart enough to determine if ya'll really have a shot. There are good guys out there- aren't you in the process of raising one :)?
Maybe there is some kind of pregnancy group that you can get into in your city. You could make friends and it might help you get excited.
Okay just because you have feelings like that DOES NOT mean that you NEED God in your life. If that's something your interested in them great but don't let people shove that **** down your throat. Sorry to be vulgar but to say that to someone in ridiculous. I am CATHOLIC, my first daughter just turned 3 last month, and I felt the EXCAT same way.
I know the struggle, I hated myself for feeling that but I couldn't help it, it was how I felt. I didn't want another baby, but my boyfriend did, and he was over the moon about me being pregnant. So I couldn't talk to him about it because I knew it would hurt him. I kept it bottled up until I was about 4 months and then out with my dad one day I just broke down.
I was angry with myself for allowing it to happen when it did. I wanted to do it "right" when I had my next one be married, and finished school, and older then 20. So I was beyond depressed about it. But my dad was like my Angel in the situation, he just listened and told me I'm not wrong for feeling that way and it's okay but now I had to figure out what I wanted to do, and that he would support me.
I thought a lot about adoption but then I thought how I would explain that in the future to BOTH of the kids.. And the conversation I love you but I chose to just Keep Maya instead didn't make much sense. My dad started calling me every night just to see how I was feeling that day.
With his help I started to feel better about the pregnancy and started to feel more excited, once I hit about 6 months those feelings were gone completely I was officially excited about having a baby(another girl). I was able to talk to my boyfriend about how I felt and he was sorry I felt like I couldn't talk to him about it. But now I'm 34 weeks and Will be meeting my little Scarlett Olivia Rae very soon and I'm over the moon that my daughters will grow up together, and that they will each have a sister, something I never did.
So I understand how you are feeling, if you ever need someone to talk to I'm here:) xo
I know the struggle, I hated myself for feeling that but I couldn't help it, it was how I felt. I didn't want another baby, but my boyfriend did, and he was over the moon about me being pregnant. So I couldn't talk to him about it because I knew it would hurt him. I kept it bottled up until I was about 4 months and then out with my dad one day I just broke down.
I was angry with myself for allowing it to happen when it did. I wanted to do it "right" when I had my next one be married, and finished school, and older then 20. So I was beyond depressed about it. But my dad was like my Angel in the situation, he just listened and told me I'm not wrong for feeling that way and it's okay but now I had to figure out what I wanted to do, and that he would support me.
I thought a lot about adoption but then I thought how I would explain that in the future to BOTH of the kids.. And the conversation I love you but I chose to just Keep Maya instead didn't make much sense. My dad started calling me every night just to see how I was feeling that day.
With his help I started to feel better about the pregnancy and started to feel more excited, once I hit about 6 months those feelings were gone completely I was officially excited about having a baby(another girl). I was able to talk to my boyfriend about how I felt and he was sorry I felt like I couldn't talk to him about it. But now I'm 34 weeks and Will be meeting my little Scarlett Olivia Rae very soon and I'm over the moon that my daughters will grow up together, and that they will each have a sister, something I never did.
So I understand how you are feeling, if you ever need someone to talk to I'm here:) xo
Wow! Some people can be so rude and heartless! I understand how you feel. I had my son in April, found out in July I was pregnant again! I seriously cried for a month and still haven't fully accepted that my baby is due 4 days before my youngest turns 1yr old. To all the judgemental women who will surely make their comments,be my guest! I still can't be happy that I have another child on the way. I keep telling myself that just because it's an unwanted pregnancy I can't see myself giving up my child and that God makes things happen for a reason. I try to look as t it this way..instead of being upset or angry, I should be happy because there are women out there that would kill to be blessed with 1 child let alone 3. I'm just taking it day by day, and I know once I hold my little guy in my arms I will love him unconditionally. When I had my 2nd baby, I was devastated that it was another boy as I wanted a girl so bad. That all changed once I held him and I wouldn't trade him for the world. On my third and last child, I have accepted that I will not have a daughter and I can't imagine my life any other way. Don't worry about feeling like you don't have enough love to share between your children as it kind of just comes naturally. You will be fine. If you ever need to talk, feel free to email me.
I'm sorry but if you didn't want kids protect yourself from it. This child didn't ask to be here, you did by having unprotected sex. If you truly don't want kids have your tubes tied with this pregnancy please. We do not need anymore unwanted children in this world. As far as this child goes there are plenty of people that would love to have this little miracle.
I have more acquaintances than I do friends. My best friend lives in tennessee and im in sc. We text all throughout the day but thats a convo thatd be kind of hard to hold with her over texts. Yes I could call her, but her accent is so thick now that I can't understand her over the phone. Her mom has the same problem with her also lol.
I appreciate your idea of me trying to find one of those lesson/journal type books. Next time I make it out and about im def going to try and find one.
And yes, I am probably am more broken than I let on. I feel very lost in life a lot of the time but I usually just put up a front and go on about my days bc not many people that I talk to have been through the same things.
And about not wanting to get married, thats more or less just bc i've seen so many failed marriages. I still had some hope until my parents split after 32 years. And their marriage was hell but I was sure they'd stick it out until the end.
I appreciate your idea of me trying to find one of those lesson/journal type books. Next time I make it out and about im def going to try and find one.
And yes, I am probably am more broken than I let on. I feel very lost in life a lot of the time but I usually just put up a front and go on about my days bc not many people that I talk to have been through the same things.
And about not wanting to get married, thats more or less just bc i've seen so many failed marriages. I still had some hope until my parents split after 32 years. And their marriage was hell but I was sure they'd stick it out until the end.
You said you have thought about trying God but don't know where to start bc all religions are similar but each with a twist.
That is the only reason I am getting on that subject:
If you are interested I would suggest trying a non-denominational church or baptist. They are the easiest going and most accepting. Also, church itself isn't always the best place to find God. Prayer is a start.
You can find a devotional in a book store. My 8yr old has a devotional/journal for little girls.
Every page has a 'lesson' with bible verse references, and then a question to write a journal answer to. Its mostly just good morals. Journal is stuff like- what are you thankful for, what can you change for the better, what are you afraid of.....stuff like that.
I am sure they should have something similar for adults. Not only does it make you familiar with bible stories, but the journal part would be helpful too.
It's a suggestion.
If you have played with the idea then maybe it's time.
Also, I know you have the boyfriend and family, do you have friends to turn to? To talk to, spend time with? I am getting the idea that you are more 'broken' than the post reads.
No, that isn't an insult for anyone who misunderstands.
I mean, you had a drug problem. You have a boyfriend that cares but you dont want him. You are against marriage and you don't want another person to love.
Are you ok? Sorry, if it is getting more personal than you would like, then of course we don't have to take it any further.
Do not worry that you can't love the new baby as much as your son. The new baby won't take away from your son, and he won't take away from the baby. Your heart will love each of them.
That is the only reason I am getting on that subject:
If you are interested I would suggest trying a non-denominational church or baptist. They are the easiest going and most accepting. Also, church itself isn't always the best place to find God. Prayer is a start.
You can find a devotional in a book store. My 8yr old has a devotional/journal for little girls.
Every page has a 'lesson' with bible verse references, and then a question to write a journal answer to. Its mostly just good morals. Journal is stuff like- what are you thankful for, what can you change for the better, what are you afraid of.....stuff like that.
I am sure they should have something similar for adults. Not only does it make you familiar with bible stories, but the journal part would be helpful too.
It's a suggestion.
If you have played with the idea then maybe it's time.
Also, I know you have the boyfriend and family, do you have friends to turn to? To talk to, spend time with? I am getting the idea that you are more 'broken' than the post reads.
No, that isn't an insult for anyone who misunderstands.
I mean, you had a drug problem. You have a boyfriend that cares but you dont want him. You are against marriage and you don't want another person to love.
Are you ok? Sorry, if it is getting more personal than you would like, then of course we don't have to take it any further.
Do not worry that you can't love the new baby as much as your son. The new baby won't take away from your son, and he won't take away from the baby. Your heart will love each of them.
Tavi12, its okay. I had a feeling when I posted this that some women would get upset bc of that reason exactly. But I took my chances bc im really confused right now. As well though, I really hope it works out for your husband and you. Good luck.
Im starting to wonder if its a mixture of thinking i'd be able to make it to age where I can get my tubes tied but I got pregnant, feeling scared of having this one early as well, the differences in how my bf and I want to raise children, and possibly a little bit of depression.
Im by no means saying I wont love this baby at all. Im sure even if I dont have those feelings instantly, ill get there eventually. I just really think ill favor my son over this child. My little boy is my whole world. I've always wanted to give him all the things I wasnt able to have growing up, plus so much more. And now I have to split that between 2 kids. Is that actually possible lol.
Im starting to wonder if its a mixture of thinking i'd be able to make it to age where I can get my tubes tied but I got pregnant, feeling scared of having this one early as well, the differences in how my bf and I want to raise children, and possibly a little bit of depression.
Im by no means saying I wont love this baby at all. Im sure even if I dont have those feelings instantly, ill get there eventually. I just really think ill favor my son over this child. My little boy is my whole world. I've always wanted to give him all the things I wasnt able to have growing up, plus so much more. And now I have to split that between 2 kids. Is that actually possible lol.
I totally understand you!!! I got pregnant with my 3rd child on a one nite stand n the guy swore up n down he couldn't have kids I gave birth alone n when she was 8m old he ask for a blood test n she was his now she is 2 n half n I'm 9 wks pregnant with his 2nd child n he can't believe it!! We are not in a relationship n he see his baby when he wants I don't know how to feel bout this pregnancy I feel alone n don't want to go through it alone again!!! I've only been to the doc once n that was to confirm I was pregnant n how far along this was a total surprise!! Cause me n him really don't have a sexual relationship!!! But he the only one I'm with that way... He hasn't really came around since I've told him I feel really down when I think of this baby I have 3 girls already I'm raising alone my 2 older girls father died many years ago n I'm lost.. confused ..and pregnant with a baby my feelings are unsure about but I'm mothern it wouldn't be fair to not to love my Lil seed as I do my other children but to go through this alone has got me feeling guilty of my unwanting love
I am very sorry for my rude comment earlier I should not have said what I did there was no reason to be rude to you me and my husband have been trying for kids for years and I miscarried twice so I got upset that you are able to have kids but don't want yours I am sorry for my jealousy as for you not having a choice it is your body and your child so it is nothing but your choice and I honestly don't think you have to have his concent for adoption because you guys are not married you should not be forced to keep a child you do not want I would sit and express what you are feeling with family and your boyfriend it is unfair to you to be forced into something you have no desire for
Some of you people are so judgemental! She is pregnant already! You dont know if maybe her bc failed or the condom broke! She decided to have the baby! She did not abort, she is not talking about throwing the baby in a dumpster or trying to shove a hanger up there! She's giving this baby life! Hunny, your pregnancy was unexpected. You are overwelmed, you are stressed, when you deliver your baby look at him/her, I bet I know what your decision will be.. don't worry
Thank you to the ladies that seem to have a better understanding of what im asking for. I keep getting told that my feelings will change and that this can all be normal thoughts/feelings, but it seems as if everytime I start to get excited a little bit, the next day I just feel overwhelmed. I really do hope everyone is right that once I see and hold my baby, it'll change everything. But im just so damn confused and scared.
An also, thanks to those who understand im not religious, and didn't try to shove it down my throat. I've thought about trying God and church again, but I don't really know where to begin with that either bc it seems as if so many churches follow the same basics of religion, but each have their own little twists and whatnot.
As well, thanks to the ladies who understood i'm not religious, didn't push it on me, and still said they'd pray for me. That is very nice to me.
And lastly, to the woman who said something ab me having sex with my bf even though i've been trying to break up with him. I realize its not the way to go ab doing this, but after putting him off for ab a week and him still trying, I just gave in. Mainly bc I have a lot of self esteem issues and I still dont want him watching porn under my roof even if I don't want to be with him.
An also, thanks to those who understand im not religious, and didn't try to shove it down my throat. I've thought about trying God and church again, but I don't really know where to begin with that either bc it seems as if so many churches follow the same basics of religion, but each have their own little twists and whatnot.
As well, thanks to the ladies who understood i'm not religious, didn't push it on me, and still said they'd pray for me. That is very nice to me.
And lastly, to the woman who said something ab me having sex with my bf even though i've been trying to break up with him. I realize its not the way to go ab doing this, but after putting him off for ab a week and him still trying, I just gave in. Mainly bc I have a lot of self esteem issues and I still dont want him watching porn under my roof even if I don't want to be with him.
Crazy holy mad women she was asking for advice not ridiculed. Close her legs if she didnt want a child what stone age is that from. Its ok to feel upset and like this go speak to a family member or therapist im sure your not alone in your feelings but everything always works out.
If you were trying to get rid of your boyfriend perhaps continuing to have sex with him was the wrong way to go about it. Good luck.
Im so shocked that you 'women' could be so judge mental, don't you think she feels enough guilt!
I wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide. Although I can not relate to completely not wanting your baby I do sympathize with you because I wonder if I made the right decision to have a child at my and my boyfriends age. I hope that once the baby is here you're able to form a bond with it and look back and just realize you were scared. It seems like you have some support (your mom and boyfriend), hopefully you'll use them and like the other poster posted maybe you should look into counseling now so that you won't have ppd later.
Again, I wish you lots of luck and although you're not religious I pray that you and your family will find peace and happiness.
I wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide. Although I can not relate to completely not wanting your baby I do sympathize with you because I wonder if I made the right decision to have a child at my and my boyfriends age. I hope that once the baby is here you're able to form a bond with it and look back and just realize you were scared. It seems like you have some support (your mom and boyfriend), hopefully you'll use them and like the other poster posted maybe you should look into counseling now so that you won't have ppd later.
Again, I wish you lots of luck and although you're not religious I pray that you and your family will find peace and happiness.
I was raped and I don't know if my child is my husbands or the rapist. Due to MY personal beliefs I cannot hurt a child. I kept this secret for several weeks and to be honest I wasn't sure I wanted the baby. But when I told my husband the truth and had time to process the situation and had counseling things are much better. I am not healed but I am better. I think you should see a Dr or a therapist. I thought I was OK but when a person knows how to dig deeper and they have an outside prospective. It helps you see things you didn't before. I'm not judging just trying to help I hope I did.
Wow you ladies are crazy! Don't be rude to someone who is seeking support and openly said she isn't religious then try and push it down her throat. People like you give faith a bad name.
Honey it's ok to feel that way it's your brain trying to process. I tried for a year to get pregnant and when I saw those 2 lines I was still shocked and couldn't comprehend if I was happy, sad, scared, so many emotions at one time. It also seemed everyone was ready to buy baby things and I was still processing. Once I could see the little guy and feel him I really started getting excited. However I do agree with the other ladies bring it up to your dr about your thoughts just so he/she can monitor how you mama are feeling. Be sure to reach out to others, write your thoughts or do what makes you feel calm. Speak with your partner and explain that you are still in shock and processing and to allow you some time because it would be great to have the support once you get passed these feelings. Whether it's support as a partner or just co parenting.
Good luck and positive vibes your way!
Honey it's ok to feel that way it's your brain trying to process. I tried for a year to get pregnant and when I saw those 2 lines I was still shocked and couldn't comprehend if I was happy, sad, scared, so many emotions at one time. It also seemed everyone was ready to buy baby things and I was still processing. Once I could see the little guy and feel him I really started getting excited. However I do agree with the other ladies bring it up to your dr about your thoughts just so he/she can monitor how you mama are feeling. Be sure to reach out to others, write your thoughts or do what makes you feel calm. Speak with your partner and explain that you are still in shock and processing and to allow you some time because it would be great to have the support once you get passed these feelings. Whether it's support as a partner or just co parenting.
Good luck and positive vibes your way!
If you know you don't want kid's then have protected sex or go get yourself fixed it's not fair to bring a child into the world that you don't even want so many women only dream of having children because they can't and here you are knowing you don't want kids and are not taking the measures to make a sure you won't
To the ladies that that were nice enough to send words of encouragement, thank you. I have thought maybe i'm depressed but I feel fine in all aspects of my life except for this baby and the relationship I am in, so idk. I'll mention it all to my dr when I am finally able to get in to be seen. And as well, if I do end up doing something besides raising it myself, I will be 100% sure it is in a safe and loving home. Which is partially why im not up for adoption bc im afraid it'd end up in a horrible foster home or something.
To the first lady that commented, I had been on birth control and it was messing with me severely so I took myself off in hopes that my hormones would level out and I could go back on, but I ended up pregnant almost immediately.
To the second lady, yes my boyfriend knew I didnt want anymore kids. He also knows that I have no desire to ever get married, yet he's determined to stay in my life and have the life that HE wants. I've tried many of times to get him out of my house and life, to no avail and now this situation just twists everything up more.
To the first lady that commented, I had been on birth control and it was messing with me severely so I took myself off in hopes that my hormones would level out and I could go back on, but I ended up pregnant almost immediately.
To the second lady, yes my boyfriend knew I didnt want anymore kids. He also knows that I have no desire to ever get married, yet he's determined to stay in my life and have the life that HE wants. I've tried many of times to get him out of my house and life, to no avail and now this situation just twists everything up more.
It's ok to have those feelings. It is a life changing event and unplanned pregnancies are not always easy to deal with. But give yourself time to deal with what you are going through and don't let guilt over not feeling excited send you into a downward spiral of guilt cuz that can be never ending. It's ok to be in turmoil over this. It is likely one day you will look back at this as a great thing like your other son. I myself am dealing with an unexpected pregnancy landing me with 3 under 3 which was NOT the plan. It can be hard and overwhelming, but I know that once she is here I will love her as I do my other two.
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