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Avatar universal

Anyone struggling with their mother & MIL? Opinions, please!

So I am 40wks 2days...due literally anyday and we live roughly 10hrs away from our parents.  Originally my husband and I were going to make everyone wait 2wks to come visit so we can establish that bond and the adjustment of a newborn.  Well his mother insisted on coming anyways and since I was on the fence about our arrangement, I convinced my husband that having our mothers here for the birth wouldn't be that bad if they just wanted to stay a day or 2...  once I had him onboard we gave our moms the green light to come out if they wanted and discussed the timeframe and how they'd still be in the waiting room but we would notify them as soon as we went to the hospital since they have a bit of a drive... both were on board and just happy to be able to come,  or so I thought...  My mother tried to tell me yesterday that she was on her way even though I am no where showing signs of labor yet and she needs to be here a few extra days and then a few minutes later my MIL informs us she is bringing my SIL and her unhousebroken dog.... I'm like wait, how did this happen?!  Mind you... we are driving back to visit them all in less than a month and my husband's family are all coming to visit us the 2wks after the birth anyways...  
Am I missing something?!  I just don't understand how this exciting and very special moment for my husband and I to share, became all about our mothers and their wants... I feel like telling them forget coming all together...am I being crazy here?!  
8 Responses
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7558356 tn?1410715309
I totally understand. My mom can be overwhelming but ever since we moved cross country (my husband is military) I miss my moms overwhelming personality. My MIL on the other hand drives me crazy. In my opinion, she did a terrible job at raising her own children and I don't trust her with mine. She's lazy and literally criticizes everything that I do or any choice I make for our son. It is so stressful and makes me sick! She also told me at one point that she wishes that she could sit at home like me all day and do nothing. Because staying at home is doing nothing!? I do more work at home in a day then she does in a year! I Cook, clean, do laundry, take care of her son, do dishes, volunteer through different programs, etc. She's a pain.

My husband is getting an honorable discharge two weeks after our baby is due and until our house is ready back home 1,400 miles away from where we are now) were staying with them and I am probably going to end up taking our son to my moms house because of how crazy this lady is!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Try to understand they are anxious to. They still need to agree to your terms and respect your wishes but to me it just sounds like they are excited. Make them wait in the waiting room while the baby is being born. But truthfully you will appreciate the help while you are recovering, as long as they respect your boundaries. And definitely stand your ground. But try as much as possible to remember that this is their grand baby so they are just thrilled (but mommy always trumps grandma!)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thanks everyone.   I have tried to be sympathetic since this is their first grand baby, but the more I think about it... this is my first child and that trumps things!  I tried explaining how I felt to my mother last night and she always cries and flips it to make me feel guilty, she's very manipulative that way... I'll talk to her again today and just tell her our wishes again and either she's ok with it or forget it. As far as my MIL... well the hubby can call her.  Lol
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I'll say no call it off!!! I told my man I didn't want no one at the hospital !!! Because 1 I know his mother and I don't mix 2 I feel like I want to spread my joy she'll take pic. And post on FB which we both work at the same job so he agreed she might be upset but it's my baby sorry I'm having the baby I call the shots!!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Stand your ground now or they will walk all over you. It took me over a year to put my foot down with people wanting to boss me around in regards to my first born and I'm not letting it happen with his one.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
My mil and mom are willing to respect my wishes. If I want them there they're okay with that if not, they're fine with that too. BUT friends of mine are more than stressing me out about being in the room with me during labor. No, husband and I don't want my friends there and frankly I don't think I'll be sending out calls and messages until after I leave hospital. I've told them multiple times I wanted it to be a bonding moment and I don't think that's going to click with them. If they stress you out then don't have them come. You just need to relax...as do I. Haha.
Helpful - 0
7754230 tn?1408540347
I'd tell them no forget about it because they cannot follow ur wishes. Dont be a push over or they'll keep doing things over you!
Helpful - 0
9414151 tn?1406839268
No ur not being crazy! U need time to bond with the NB cuz with all the family coming its going to b overwhelming fo u guys!
Helpful - 0

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