Daughter in The Delivery room

[Dustyrose54]

Hi all. I have been doing alot of thinking when it comes to whos.in the delivery room and my 7 year old has told me that she wants to be there with me and to see the baby born. I dont havr a problem with it because shes a very mature girl and shes been a part of the whole thing so far. But... her father and his girlfriend dont want her there, i have full custody of my daughter tho so is it wrong for me to let her be there? What do you guys think?

[specialmom]

I actually think it is a fine idea.  You've been through birth so know what is entailed and have an idea of how you'll react to the situation.  She can be stationed by your head so it isn't too graphic.  If your mom or sister or someone is going to be there, they can look out for her.  I do think you'd need that type of person in charge of her because you can't be.  But I personally think it could be a very cool experience for her.  

Congrats on your baby and best of luck to you.  peace

[River_Melody]

I'm allowing my 10 year old son in the room. He asked if he could. He even asked permission to cut the cord from his father. He said yes. I let him watch biting videos so that he knows what to expect and I've explained to him the things that could go wrong. My midwife has agreed to have him in the room. He will most likely be off in a corner watching Netflix on my phone or playing games and I'm not going to have him all up in my private area. So to the woman being so judgmental and rude back off and keep your negative comments to yourself.  It's her decision and I fully believe that kids understand what is going on better than what you give them credit for.

[Frostymama13]

But shes determined to be in the room with this one in April lol.. ps.. everyone labors differently.. my mom was calm and breathed through everything. . No epidural just quiet and together. . I on the other hand cuss, cry, and tear my husband's arm up lol (1st 2 pregnancies) lol..

[Frostymama13]

With my last pregnancy 2 years ago my sister wanted to be in the room.. she was 16 at the time. I was only in labor for 2 hours and pushed once.. she almost passed out and she normally doesnt mind blood.. my hospitals birth center doesnt allow anyone under 12 at all.. not even to visit... Ultimately its your chose.. everyone has their own opinions.  Good luck!!!! :)

[toniare2003]

Come on people are so rude. She is not a bad parent forwanting her baby there. I'm so surprised ob the negative views of labor.  My labors are beautiful. I have delivered 3 naturally.  No medicine and it was not traumatizing come on people.  I would have an adult there just for her just in case it gets too much. Have her at ur side and not in view of the labor she'll be fine and i have a master's in applied behavioral science.  If you are not one to handlepain well it might be much her seeing you in that manner. Do what you feel is best for you and your child.  Good luck

[MsBlairMonet]

It is so amazing to me how some people comment on here. Not at all supportive. you can express your opinions and concerns without being insulting or rude. My 6 yr old son really wants to be in the room and we have decided to let him. My mother will be there with him and they will be sitting off to the side not there with the doctor catching his brother. If something goes wrong we have a contingency plan but I do not feel that it's traumatic to simply be in the room.

[FallenAngel86]

Everyone is so judgemental. My daughter is 8 and personally I don't think it's something I'd want her to see myself but each to their own. I think if something was to go wrong your not going to be in a fit state to care for your child who is watching her mum go through pain that she can't help u with. I know my mum felt helpless at my first borns birth I could only imagine how terrifying it would be for a child. Good luck and I hope u make the right decision for ur family

[KJV_always]

You obviously dont have a PhD in child phsyc if you think that's child abuse.lol wow.

[KJV_always]

I'm having  a vbac and my.four year old will be there. He is allowed by the hospital as.a long as there is another adult there to watch him. He asked to Come.  I explained if something happens and I get taken away fast that I will be having this baby just like his brother. He knows his brother was cut out of 'my belly and he came my vagina. he also watched a c section on youtube bc he wanted to see what it looked like. He helps my husband gut deer and kill and cut our chickens and goats so he is good with gore. But he isn't going tl be watching my vagina. He will be over in the corner with my cousin and when I need to push he may wait outside.so.my pain doesnt freak him out. But i say your the parent No one.else can say whether.or not your child can handle.it except.you. so do it if you want. :-) I sure am!

[Vnessa7]

I personally am not letting my 7 year old son be in the room with me. For me it's too much, he's very innocent and doesnt know exactly where babies come from except your tummy and the doctors get them out. To me I want my son to stay that way, he doesn't need to see mommys private. Birth is not a disgusting thing but there is age appropriate things. Think of it as would you let your daughter watch it on tv. If it doesn't bother you that's your own thing no body should judge but no I would not allow my children. Maybe if my daughter was 15 or something ok but not that young. Like someone posted earlier there are pple who pass out, my friends husband can't be in the room with her he just can't handle that and everyone is different. As far as your daughters father and his gf telling you anything it's not there business, but that's just my opion.

[babySprake]

I witnessed my mother giving birth when I was 12. And to say the least it was a little traumatic. Thinking back to what I watched her go through I am now terrified to give birth in May. I think no madder how mature a child it is a little much when there that young. Its your child tho, do what u think is best. By the way I live in PA an there wasnt a age restriction here either

[JulieKuhnert]

I'm glad I don't have to worry about this since I don't have any children, I'm pregnant with my first. If I had to make the choice, I do not think I'd let my child in the room.  There have been husbands who had trouble seeing the birth, I think it would be worse for a child.  I think it all comes down to maturity, I can't see a 7 yo being mature enough to see and understand that, when there are grown ups who have issues. Even if that child is mature "for their age" the fact remains they are still a child.

[alliestwins]

As long as you have a back up plan and are mindful of her perception of whats going on it should be fine. Most birthing centers allow children 6 and older in the room for the whole process 6 and under can vist for periods of time. It is really dependant on the mother and the child in question. Also it is a good learning experience. It shows young girls just how hard childbirth is. Mabye if more girls learned this I would have less 15-18 yearold pregnant patients. Alot of those girls come in clueless about pregnancy and birth. Most common excuse I here from mother as to why. We did not want to traumatize her.

[keaanddan03]

Dustyrose do not feel like a bad mother!! Im 31 and my daughter is 11. I plan on having her in the room with a back up plan of course. I will not shelter my child. She is incredibly intelligent and has also been apart of everything. My mom is a reiki master and I plan to have the room full of positive energy. If it starts to get intense, my mom will bring her to the waiting room.

The person who claims to have a degree in child psychology should really know better on how to speak to another expecting mother....

If you would like, message me :)

Again, do not feel bullied. I highly doubt child protective services will be knocking down your door!!!

[Dustyrose54]

Wow. To be honest i really wasnt expecting such a response to my question and alot of your comments made me feel like a bad mother, thanks for the support. For those of you who gave an opinion that wasnt insulting, rude, or judgemental wether pro or con i thank you. Now i should probably have spent some time explaning the type of daughter i have first. instead of giving her age right away. Most of you see her as only 7 no one has seen her as her experiences so far. As for it being "traumatizing" to a child. That is def a new age person thinking. Im 30 years old my daughter is growing up stronger than most children her age and i dont lie or keep secrets from her. She is extremely smart and curious and has been with me through everything on this. We both are doing the prenatel clasdes together because shes asked to learn all about whats goung on. Birth is beautiful. Of coursr if something goes wrong she would be remived as would anyone but if i choose to bring her in the room i dont need hateful people makung me feel like a bad mother because they think its wrong. This is a support group people and im pretty sure i dont need hurtful things said right now.

[smcdsmcd]

I just delivered my boy this week.  Having just experienced iT I would definitely not recommended that a child witness that event- just my personal opinion.   In fact, my husband and myself are still recovering from it!

[keaanddan03]

Very well said Lilmummyems!!!

[Lilmummyems]

My 7or 8 yo nephew was in the room for my first birth, along with his mum, my Aunty. I left the decision with her as she is his mother. 40 yo and she is a RN btw. In no way is he traumatised (he is now 17) and he loved every second of it and It was the subject of his news at school when they returned home! However my children are different they do not want to be in the room but want to see baby as soon as it's born an that's ok with me either way they chose, and yes my hospital allows minors in the room. People need to keep in mind that they know their own children, it isn't for some of you to judge so harshly. Where I live in Australia it's very normal to have siblings and extended family in the room, it's part of the culture. As for child abuse, that would only be the case if the child was forced to watch when they don't want to so it's ridiculous for it to be said to include anybody who has a child there.

[dorkiemama83]

I understand how you you feel. For me It's like sure I want my ten year old daughter in the delivery room but then again she doesn't like blood lol... Once I have the baby and I'm all cleaned up then she May come see her new brother or sister that she has been asking one since who knows when...

[melodysmummy]

Everyone saying how very wrong it is and traumatising it is need to open their minds a bit! If you feel your daughter is mature enough and understands it enough to be there, then there is nothing wrong with that at all! Only you will know if your daughter ready, and talk with her about it too, so she's prepared for anything to happen, make sure she'll be okay if she has to leave the room for whatever reason, every birth can be so different. Your daughter doesn't have to watch 'down there', she could be by your side holding your hand. Yes, you'll be in pain, but handle it, as best you can, smile between contractions, or as often as you can. It will help you and ease your daughter. Show her that birthing a baby is amazing! Hard work, but so very worth it! It might even help you by your daughter being in the room, kind of motivation to show her how it's done, sort of thing :) it will be a wonderful memory for her forever. Maybe your daughter her father and you could talk together make sure she is sure she wants to be there, and in the event anything doesnt go to plan when the time comes, hopefully not, that there is someone there to take care of your daughter, as well as someone else to be with you in the delivery. Hope this helped in some way :)

[hotmama07]

I was about that age when i was in the room watching my older sister have her baby and I stood by her side & held her hand. I cried when I seen my nephew being born because it was so beautiful and I was definitely not traumatized

[shysmom87]

I personally wouldnt have mine in there but if you want to or anyone else thats your decision. To the one who labeled this as "child abuse" are u freaking serious?! Thats whats wrong with world today because these child psychologists want to label everything as abuse. A mother wanting her child to be there with her giving birth and its abuse, get real.

[lilpianogirl85]

Giving birth is a very beautiful thing but it is traumatizing, which is why your body needs so much time to recover after. It of course is your decision (if they allow it at the hospital) but in my opinion I wouldn't. There is so much that can happen and it can be very scary for a child. It's different when your child is watching it happen to someone they don't know on YouTube then when it is happening to you their mother. Watching a car accident on television you might not think twice about, but if you know and love someone in one of the cars then that's a whole different scary situation. And it could bring up resentment of the new baby later on seeing that the baby is the reason you were in so much pain. And heaven forbid you had to rush off for an emergency c section. Your child is left there as you are rolled off in pain and they aren't allowed to see you. That can be hard and scary for a grown adult to deal with let alone a 7 year old. Wouldn't that scare you if all of a sudden something was wrong with the baby and you had to have an emergency procedure done? Again this is of course your decision (I would consider your child father's opinion out of courtesy because you would expect the same from him when making a decision about your daughter) but really consider that the possibility this could be alot for her to handle

[mommieResha]

just because we all believe you should or shouldnt doesnt mean you have to take anyones reasonings why or why not me personally believe that its to much of a intimate moment with your nana hanging out and everything...but we all have our own say