Feeling so alone

[dkaebisch]

i started miscarrying earlier this week.  The emotional and physical pain is killing me.  The first day we found out, my husband was sad and very understanding, but now a few days later I feel like he's not being supportive.  He seems like life went on for him and I'm still stuck dealing with the pain alone.  I'm sure he is frustrated that he is having to pick up the slack taking care of our two babies and doing things around the house.  I wish I could feel okay, but I know it will happen in its own time.  Any advice?

[mags242001]

Doct recommends to wait a bit at till u have 2 normal periods.

[dkaebisch]

I've been thinking of ways to help me through.  I think we will have a little memorial just us and our sons, and release balloons with notes attached and then plant a tree.  I feel like that will help me.  We want to get pregnant again...how long do we wait?

[mags242001]

I know ppl handle this differently but 5 weeks of pregnancy wouldn't give your husband enough time to bong or even realize that he is having a baby. My guy friends n husband say that it doesn't really hit them till they see the baby bump or start feeling the baby move. I had a miscarriage I was 2 months pregnant. I felt bad for a few days or so then moved on. I realized that usually defects in the baby cause miscarriages and y would I want to have a child suffering. Beside u can hardly blame you husband for moving on so quickly when you all probably only knew u were pregnant for 1 to 2 weeks. Try to think of the future for u and your husband n start preparing your body to become pregnant again.

[My1stbaby27]

Sorry for your loss. I lost my son at 1 day old after his birth at 35weeks.  All i can say is men grieve different and he may need more time to let it unfold. Take care of each other and keep communication open

[dkaebisch]

Thank you for being there for me!  Every response means so much!  My heart aches for those of you that went through this but your angels were much older than mine.  Thank you for the kind words, the advice, and just being there.  We may not know each other, but we are here for each other.

[pregwith5th786]

I'm sorry for your loss hun. I know what u would b going through u lost ur baby at 5 weeks and you feeling this way. I lost my princess at 38 weeks last year so u can imagine what I must have gone through. I know I will b grieving all my life not a day goes by I Dont think about her. When v lost her our life was shattered but after a week my husband got back to his normal routine he very rarely used to stay with me always out n about. I used to sit home crying my eyes out.
I guess its normal for men not grieving to this as v do. They keep them self busy with things but us ladies find everything so hard to control.

[kelsobliss]

I would just thank him for his help and take as long as you need. My best friend miscarried twins and we took an evening together to really process the loss. we took her, a few family members and friends and got dozens of helium balloons. On half of the balloons wrote down all the things we were most excited to do, say, be and have with them in our lives then shared them with each other and went outside and let them go. Then we took the other half of the bunch and wrote down all the things we'd miss getting to do, to be for them, to say, etc shared them and again let them go. Then we cried, watched them float away and talked about it. It was really cathartic for her and it helped the rest of us have a language to talk with her about it.
That was two pregnancies ago for her and we still can talk about the loss of her two girls and that day. Try and find a way to be really kind to yourself in this loss and not rush through it.
Im really sorry you're going through this. I hope my words were helpful. I know we dont know each other but I care about you and im holding this with you.

[dkaebisch]

I was only 5weeks 4days.  But it was enough time to be attached.  Thanks you everyone for the advice.  I am very sorry for those of you that have gone through this.  I know it will take time.  It is still early, so I have to process the grief.  Sometime s I wake up thinking it was all a bad dream:-(

[haydenava85]

This happen to me too and my fiance. I could tell he felt bad I was going through it but I got the feeling he just didn't know what to say or do. I wasn't extremely upset as I knew this happens. But I still felt a sadness. There was a moment when my fiancé sister still thought I was pregnant and he told her I was no longer pregnant in a very insensitive way and it hurt my feelings. I thought about that pregnancy a few times too, it was weird because I was able to get pregnant again, very quickly. So one time I mixed up the miscarriage pregnancy and my current one, then I thought, oh wait no I was craving that during the pregnancy I miscarried. I eventually told my fiancé, while I was already upset (better not to wait until then) and I explained how he may have been able to move on quickly and I may have seemed to be able to do the same, but I just put on a mask. I told him I wish I had more support. I am glad I told him. It got easier after that.

[boupidbird]

Post baby blues, you just had your hormones dump on you. it shouldn't last too long (I think mine was a month? After my miscarriage). Try to be active if you can. I'm sorry for your loss

[svaldez52]

When I had my miscarriage I thought my husband moved on fast and it didn't phase hin but in all reality it did have a good heart to heart ull see they put a tough face but I was suprises when he broke down...it brought us closer to make that time and moment for each other and now we are prego again 18 weeks still fearful but he's there every step of the way

[Jewlsnewmom]

Me also Iam so sorry Hun I am pretty sure your husband is just as upset as you are men don't really like to show their emotions as much as we do ...just talk to him let him know how you feel and take it day by day !

[flowers75]

Am so sorry for your lost. Be strong mom.

[mags242001]

How far along were u?