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body image
Pre-pregnancy I never felt that I deserved the praise my husband gave me over my body. I was 5'3 and 118lbs in pretty decent shape. Once I reached my 2nd trimester I was so confident in my body and had never been so happy with it even with my stretch marks. My husband compliments me all the time and I accept what he says with gratitude. I'm 39 weeks pregnant now and felt sexy until last morning when I walked in on my husband watching porn. The night before I was practically begging him for sex but understood that he was tired. When I realized what he was doing last morning it shattered me. He hasn't watched porn in years. I'm scared for him to see my body now especially when I give birth. He's supposed to be my support during labor and birth but now I don't feel confident that I want him there. I've been trying to sleep all night but I keep having dreams of having an unassisted homebirth all alone because I don't want anyone to see me like that. I went from being happy and on top of the world to guilty over letting pregnancy change my body and no longer being desirable to my husband.
Expecting6thbaby you are correct, it is not natural and I apologize for my poor wording. What I was meaning was masturbation is natural and many times men, who are far more visual than women, liporn o have something extra to stimulate their imagination. Amy1830 said it beat though, we are all I'm different relationships and have different expectations for them. If your MSN has always known your thoughts on porn and chooses to look at it Still then You have rbety right to be upset and want to discuss it. My only thing is just don't assume your relationship is over or that your husband finds you unattractive just because he chose to watch porn because that is most likely not the case. Talk it out with him and discuss what you can both do to make this pregnancy (and all the changes that go with it) easier on you both
I agree.. what is so frustrating is people saying it's natural. I have studied and went to school for human psychology as part of medical training and I will tell you from study and personal belief it is not natural. Yes masturbation is but porn is not. Social media make people think stuff like that is natural, with the way things are advertised as a society we are becoming accustomed to that being natural and a way of life. Us becoming accustomed to it does not make it natural or right. I would really like to know where the people who said it was natural get there information from? This is not a rude comment or a statement I really would appreciate an answer on the what information or training they base their advice and comments on. I want to know what classor information I missed because I hate to be wrong although I will admit when I am and I would like to look into this information.
Well like you said everybody has there own point of view,im a christian, and i belive all of that said up there is terrible. Its adultery. And its just not right in gods eyes. God bless all of yall , and wish yall luck in yalls relationships.
I think there's a big difference in explaining masturbation and explaining porn to a child. Masturbation is natural and there's nothing wrong with it. Porn is not natural and involves fantasizing about other people besides your partner. This subject is so popular on this site and we all feel passionately about our viewpoints. I think there are just different types of people out there. Some women see nothing wrong with porn and they might even go to strip clubs with their man or engage in threesomes as knufrio said. I don't think there's anything wrong with that as long as both people in the relationship are cool with it. Some women (I think the majority) are more conservative and would be very hurt by any of those things and may think of any of it as a form cheating. I think the problem lies in each individual relationship and these men respecting that they have married the second type, the conservative type, which I'm sure they knew before getting married. If something really hurts your spouse to the point of causing low self esteem and heart ache then it shouldn't be that hard to give it up, for their sake and for the relationships sake. And id like to also add that the way the world is these days doesn't make it any easier on us women. We have tons of expectations to live up to based on our outward appearances. Most of us, even the ones who are beautiful , are already feeling insecure because sex is everywhere it comes mostly in the female form. Shoved in our faces by magazines, movies, tv, billboards, you name it. Men do not have this done to them. They don't understand why we feel so threatened by other women. And they don't get the porn thing also because porn is about women. They barely show a guys face! You don't even know what the guy looks like other than his penis most of the time. They hve no clue what it's like to be a women in this day and age. But even if they don't understand, they should respect the feelings of the one they love and commit to being faithful, physically and mentally.
Expecting6thbaby I never said I didn't find ways to keep my man satisfied. Trust me I am the type that's whlulling to give anything a try at least once, including bringing in another female. I do know about relationships and I know my own very well. My husband and I are very open about stuff like that. Men like variety so no matter what I put on to look sexy or what toys I have I'll never be an Asian girl so if he wants to watch porn with them in it, I say go for it! Its about being comfortable and knowing that just because he occasionally gets his rocks off to pictures or videos of other girls that I know he's still coming to bed with me every night and he isn't cheating.
Man whats happing to the world now ): its so sad.
God bless all of yall ! Without the good lord , we wouldnt be blessed with our beautiful babys.
I agree knufrio! Not all ppl believe in God so to them it's not a sin or considered evil. I do believe but still dnt see it as horrible because like you said men will lust for women no matter how it's done. Sex is everywhere we turn so when it comes to explaining this type of things to children its unavoidable. Just like masturbation, children do it and dnt even realize what is happening they just know they get a certain reaction from their bodies they enjoy when it's done. So that's going to be a subject you also have to explain to children. Any type of sex will always catch the eye of both men and women it's just life and something we have to be comfortable with and even more comfortable with ourselves
You are a moron I was not talking about masturbation I was talking about porn. My sex drive is higher than any man's and about relationships I never wanted just one. I never wanted to get married and have kids that was my husband. Apparently you don't know much about being in a relationship. Any woman that tries to justify a man watching porn dose not want to have to find ways to keep their guys satisfied. My husband had an issue with porn not masturbation. He has no use for that I want to have sex more than he does and want sexual play more. He don't even have enough endurance for me much less to want it when I don't. His excuse for porn was that it was not fair that I was more sexually experienced than him. He feels like he missed out on something. My response to that was I never asked to be married or to be in a relationship with him or anybody else. It's not natural it's a problem if he's not. Happy we can put a end to it. It also does not matter if other believe or not because as a family we do and I think the original poster does also and you can't support or help her with advise if you don't.
Not everyone believes in god or the bible and honestly all men lust after other women whether its through porn or guy talk between them and their friends it happens and you must accept it. Porn doesn't drive men to cheat, nagging whining, overbearing wives drive men to cheat. A man's sexual drive is far different than a woman's. Men have it wired in them to spread their seed, it's simple evolution that the more offspring they have the more likely they are to pass their genes on successfully. Women on the other hand have always looked for protection from a mate and that's why we lean more towards monogamy. As for the arguememt about explaining it to your children? Masturbation is natural and children learn it at a very young age so if you are finding it hard to explain then I suggest you practice.
I agree.. it don't help a relationship if you need that then your relationship needs help. I can do kinky and role playing but not porn. They do it as teenagers because they do not have routine access to sex. Once married they have routine access and should no longer want it. It is not natural it is sin. Lust is cheating in your heart and that is. How the bible states it. What kind of parent would bring or let someone else bring it into their house with a new baby or child. I have 5 girls and will not allow my children to be exposed. I asked my husband if he could explain it to our girls and he looked at me like I was crazy. I told him if he can't explain it to our girls then keep it our of my house and if want that he can stay out to. To the most part things have gotten better but I am still making him get help and also US as a couple. If you can't include or explain it to your children it is not natural.
I agree with Pookie127. Porn is a gateway to other bad thiNgs. Cheating and way worse things. Ladies don't let ur men become subject to the evil plans tht are just waiting to devour them. Porn leads to other bad things and i would try to shut it down now.
Watching Porn is nothing to be proud , my fiance use to watch porn all the time. Like if he was addicted. I didnt like that at all. Porn is not good in god's eyes no matter what you say, i always told him. If your scared of him cheating on you then maybe his not the one foor you. Porn started to destroy our relationship everyday that passed by. Till one day i finally told him i couldnt do it anymore. We ened up going to chruch the following day and man , how it help us out so much. Till this day my fiance has not watch porn , his been more spiritual. God haschanged him so much. Porn is straight evil. It just is.
Don't be too hard on yourself. My bf has come to realize sex is different now but he does not complain we still make it work! The other morning he took longer in the shower and I was like hmmm I know what he's doing but I didn't say anything because he brought it up last night! We laughed it off and I wasn't mad I know some days we aren't going to be intimate like we both want and some days we will but it's not wild and crazy like before I was pregnant. You shouldn't feel any less attractive! He probably just wanted to be sensitive to your needs and not upset you. I know sometimes I have sex just because I dnt want him to feel unwanted and he will be understanding and say it's ok we dnt have to. So dnt come down on yourself or him is hard. Your still beautiful in his eyes and yours!
It is completely understandable that you feel that way. What he's doing is wrong, no matter how many men do it. You need to address it, because he is being unfaithful. His standard of sexy is YOU, no matter your size or shape, because he is committed to you. If you change, his standards need to change.
Porn may be common, but its not normal, it's unnatural. If a man went a peeped at someone's window, they'd call the cops. Why is it OK for him to watch strangers having sex just because its on a screen? Its not. Its disgusting.
Porn may be common, but its not normal, it's unnatural. If a man went a peeped at someone's window, they'd call the cops. Why is it OK for him to watch strangers having sex just because its on a screen? Its not. Its disgusting.
My husband doesn't like for me to watch porn and is turned off to having it on when we have sex. He was embarrassed and sorry when I walked in on him. He said he wanted a quick release which I can totally understand. I'm upset because I have only ever turned him down once in our whole relationship but he denies me often and then is disappointed when I turn to masturbating (with or without porn).
There's a lot more to it of course but I have never felt okay with porn. He knew that before he wanted to be in a relationship with me and still wanted to marry me. I don't like the hiding, lying, and double standard.
There's a lot more to it of course but I have never felt okay with porn. He knew that before he wanted to be in a relationship with me and still wanted to marry me. I don't like the hiding, lying, and double standard.
You are overreacting. I always had body image problems but now that I'm pregnant I dont really care any more. I'm hoping your husband is not with you only for your looks. I mean I'd course you don't want to let your self go and look like a slob but shouldn't be too concerned about him watching porn. I know my husband masturbates and so do I. Its normal. Now he is afraid that baby might just come out if we do it lol. Unless he is a porn addict I dont see a problem with it. Don't overreact.
Most women are okay with it because most men don't cheat just because they watch porn. My husband loves me and loves my body (both pregnant and not pregnant) but still watches porn on occasion and there is nothing wrong with that. Sometimes they just want a quick release or may even have a fantasy or something that they are embarrassed to share. Moat guys start watching porn as teens, by this time they have gotten very good at hiding it (except my hubby is super honest about it) so chances are if you caught him once it's not the first time. Talk to him about it, but I wouldn't sweat it too much.
Why do women say it is ok for their guy to watch porn. It's not ok. I had that problem with my husband with my last preg. My husband started cheating on me because he did not find me attractive. I begged for sex and he would say he was tired. He even did it when I was in the hospital in premature labor and he did not know if I was losing the baby. When I found out he first acted like I was at fault when that did not make it go away. He begged for forgiveness and said he would go to counciling when I agreed he won't go now and acts like nothing happened. To my defense I don't look bad I wear size 7 and feel great in a bikini. People always say how good I look. To top it off my body was near perfect and I never wanted to ruin it with kids or get married and tried to talk him out of it. My guy on the other hand wanted lots of kids and to get married. I wanted him to be happy
I know I would feel the same way as you do. I haven't caught my fiancé looking at porn but I have a feeling he has recently. He normally doesn't but I'm 36 weeks and we haven't been having sex lately because its become painful to me. The last time we tried he was saying things that sounded like porn talk and I've never heard him say them before. His phone has been getting viruses and acting up lately. I just think he's probably been watching it. It would really bother me. Because I don't think he should need porn to jerk off. If he masturbates I don't have a problem with that but I do have one with him masturbating to other women. It's hurtful to me. The only thing I can say is that I don't think you should feel bad about yourself because it doesn't mean you aren't as beautiful or hot as before. I know pregnancy is a "beautiful" thing but honestly do you think having a big giant belly with a baby in it is erotic? I don't lol and I have one! When I had sex I had to cover my belly because it just made me feel weird to see it during sex. Its weird thinking that the baby is right there and to men it's probably even weirder. Maybe he is scared now that he's going to hurt the baby because you're 39 weeks? Either way I don't think watching porn is justified, but don't let it lower your self esteem. What did he say when you walked in on him btw?
Guys watch porn all time. My bf does. I ask him if he finishes he says no but he watches a fee videos so I'm sure he does. He was very horny in beginning when I didn't feel comfortable at first having sex, towards the end I got super horny. Now I can only finish him off orally and myself on top with difficulty as I am 37weeks but before when I would be able to lay on my side about 8weeks ago we would both finish sideways and at the end I would love to place his hand on my belly but he would quickly move it and grab my *** again. It didn't bother me I know he has a daddy side but guys when it's sex, it's sex they put sex first before food and all.
I'm sorry for the girl that the guy started looking somewhere else that's not right. But your man is just looking at porn.
My guy freaks out at my belly or I know he feels a bit weird when I'm on top and he tells me so it's all about communication as well.
I'm a ftm but I look forward to working hard and loving/raising my baby but never neglect your man as well keep them happy and they keep you happy :)
I'm sorry for the girl that the guy started looking somewhere else that's not right. But your man is just looking at porn.
My guy freaks out at my belly or I know he feels a bit weird when I'm on top and he tells me so it's all about communication as well.
I'm a ftm but I look forward to working hard and loving/raising my baby but never neglect your man as well keep them happy and they keep you happy :)
I can tell you right now, you're being too hard on yourself and letting hormones take control. I have NEVER ever felt good about how I looked, and past boyfriends added to that by calling me names like fat ***, when I was 150 at 5'6". But my current boyfriend who is the father to my baby, compliments me non-stop and loves my body. He tells me everyday. When I was pregnant, it was even worse! He couldn't keep his hands off me, and I for once believe the man I'm with and feel comfortable. I just had my baby six days ago, and after having seen me open during an emergency c section, he is still ready and begging for sex and and now tells me motherhood looks good on me.
However... he loves porn. Like, a lot. His mind needs to be constantly stimulated, whether its games, cleaning, reading, or watching porn, he just needs something to do. Porn for him is more like something to do when he is bored. And even during sex, he has to have it on cause watching other people make love turns him on. Do I like it? Not really... I hate it. And I have talked to him several times about it. But he assures me that its just something to pass the time, and when he does masturbate, he never comes because its not me, and he honestly does have a hard time releasing cause his brain is going a mile a minute and he gets tired quickly.
Men jerk off just to jerk off. Its not because they find the women attractive, or because they find you less attractive, its just because they're bored, or horny and you're not, you're not around, or lazy at the time and dont wanna put any effort into it. Shoot, I've gone and masturbated when he was too tired, or when I was bored. In the end you two are still making love and still find each other unbelievably sexy, and you're not out having sex with other people.
Porn is sadly normal, and healthy, and you know what? Ask if h wants to watch some when you two are making love, cause it can be kinda hot and really spice up the night together. So dont you worry, he still finds you sexy! :)
However... he loves porn. Like, a lot. His mind needs to be constantly stimulated, whether its games, cleaning, reading, or watching porn, he just needs something to do. Porn for him is more like something to do when he is bored. And even during sex, he has to have it on cause watching other people make love turns him on. Do I like it? Not really... I hate it. And I have talked to him several times about it. But he assures me that its just something to pass the time, and when he does masturbate, he never comes because its not me, and he honestly does have a hard time releasing cause his brain is going a mile a minute and he gets tired quickly.
Men jerk off just to jerk off. Its not because they find the women attractive, or because they find you less attractive, its just because they're bored, or horny and you're not, you're not around, or lazy at the time and dont wanna put any effort into it. Shoot, I've gone and masturbated when he was too tired, or when I was bored. In the end you two are still making love and still find each other unbelievably sexy, and you're not out having sex with other people.
Porn is sadly normal, and healthy, and you know what? Ask if h wants to watch some when you two are making love, cause it can be kinda hot and really spice up the night together. So dont you worry, he still finds you sexy! :)
I understand how you feel! As soon as I started showing my fiance looks at me less and less. I'll offer sex and try to be intimate with him only to be shrugged off. Usually a video game is more important than me. I recently found out he'd been talking to a girl online saying I never give him sex saying he'd had nothing for months when in reality it was a week tops. He was planning to have sex with her when I found out and its since destroyed any self confidence I was building about my body.. keep your head high girl.
I'm sorry to hear you feel that way. I think you're being too hard on yourself ... the more confident you are about your body the more it reflects on your character, and you shine from within.
I think every guy watches porn / self-services himself once in a while - with or without an attractive wife. I wudnt be too concern if I was u.
some evenings when my husband wants sex I'm either tired or just not in the mood. but the next morning when he leaves to work I feel super ho**y ... thats just how it is. and since I'm not giving him much, he admitted to **** off in the shower every now and then, which I totally understand.
I'm sure there's no reason he shud suddenly not find you beautiful anymore. maybe take some time off on the weekend for some intimate togetherness :-)
I think every guy watches porn / self-services himself once in a while - with or without an attractive wife. I wudnt be too concern if I was u.
some evenings when my husband wants sex I'm either tired or just not in the mood. but the next morning when he leaves to work I feel super ho**y ... thats just how it is. and since I'm not giving him much, he admitted to **** off in the shower every now and then, which I totally understand.
I'm sure there's no reason he shud suddenly not find you beautiful anymore. maybe take some time off on the weekend for some intimate togetherness :-)
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