Aa
long rant I apologize ladies.
I just cannot handle this anymore. Everything that is currently on my plate, I'm beyond overwhelmed and pregnancy is just causing me to be even more of an emotional wreck over these already troubling issues. First off to start, my pregnancy began with a man that I thought was committing himself to me (we were engaged and settling down), we miscarried, and after a few months I got pregnant again, well, coincidentally he left me a week before I found out, and basically told me to F*** off and hasn't spoken to me since (I'm 31wks+5days). At 9 weeks pregnant, a guy I had known for quite a while ended up stepping up and we've been dating since (he's been there for almost the whole pregnancy, and now views the baby as his own as he's taken care of the both of us). My parents, the most hateful, and judgemental people I've encountered, tend to do nothing but scream at me, and become consistent reminders of nothing but negativity (I'll bring up how in a moment).
I'm emotionally and mentally torn apart. I've gotten over the man getting me pregnant and having not even the common decency to see how I'm doing, let alone ask about anything. He's already gotten his fair share of "information" and the word I use lightly, as it is more so dramatic rumors he's heard as we both worked at the same place when all of this ended between us. The whole location we worked at spoke incessantly about how I was disgusting, and a s*** for getting pregnant (funny how being engaged and them leaving you makes you a s***), and then when I was 20 weeks along, it was rumored that I was having an abortion done (because people who after smoking for 7 years quit when they get pregnant when they are planning on terminating it). This whole thing was also funny to me, seeing as the only people I even told I was pregnant to was my manager and department just in case I had any medical concerns in the beginning (morning sickness, etc.) that could make it difficult not to leave my station often (I was a pharmacy technician, we'll talk about why "was" is used in a moment).
My job, it not only entailed the dirty looks, the whispering, the drama, and the rumors hatefully spread around about me, but it also affected me health and sanity wise. Where I worked you were supposed to get a break as I'm assuming anywhere would/should allow, and I paid union dues, so you'd think that allowing for written work restrictions from a doctor would be taken into account, but they refused mine. The whole sitting for 10 minutes every 2 hours, drinking water and getting to eat during my shifts, getting at least a 30 minute break to eat a full meal, no lifting over 20 lbs and getting restroom breaks was apparently too much to expect from my employer. My doctor stated it usually went 6 months leave, or fired if they don't comply with restrictions. Well, I applied for leave since they wouldn't comply and I was already consistently contracting and cramping and being on my feet all day without getting a break or sitting down or drinking water and being lucky not to be expected to pee my pants at times. After a month and a half of no paperwork being submitted by my doctor, my claim was denied for leave, my doctor also ended up refusing to fill out the paperwork. I was ******. Work said they'd wait until April 15th for documentation on returning to work or going on leave from my doctor, but without my knowledge seeing as they never bothered to let me know, they put me on the schedule for the 12th, 13th, and 14th of April, pinning me with 3 no call, no shows and therefore were planning on firing me due to "job abandonment". (I'm still dealing with this).
Currently, I've been hospitalized (since I was 26wks+4 days) as I dilated to 1cm, my cervix (which is now unmeasurable) is fully effaced and has funneling, and baby could come at any time. I've been on strict bed rest for a month now. Can't work (how convenient they couldn't have checked me sooner and realized when I said something wasn't right, that I knew what I was talking about), I also now that I basically have no job, have no income, and my insurance isn't covering me to stay here in the hospital, and I've also got college loans now that are surfacing even though mid-pregnancy I actually requested the price so that I could pay it off in full, which I supposedly had paid off months ago.
My great aunt also passed away to top it all off. She was 73, and the most angelic person this world might have ever seen, she never had a bad word to say about anyone, and put everyone before herself. She passed away after being put through heart surgeries almost two months ago. She took her last breath on life support (which she requested she not be on) while I was holding her hand.
I just feel like I'm going through all of this alone. My boyfriend isn't here much, I don't expect him to be, but he can't physically be there for me even when I need him most due to work and his family. Course I understand this isn't biologically his baby, so I don't exactly expect anything from him at all in that sense, but that we are dating and he does want to be part of my life, and also treat my baby as his own, it would make me feel more content if he were there for me more.
And my parents, well. While typing this out, they came to visit, they were here fifteen minutes. And after I got overwhelmed with everything going on (it's like this all just hit me) I sat and bawled my eyes out while they sat in silence, occasionally stealing glances at me. And when I finally spoke and basically asked for advice, or someone to say a word, basically all I got out of them was "well now you know what we go through." No. They don't know what I go through. I'm young, pregnant, an emotional wreck, I've lost my job due to my pregnancy and doctor's negligence, and have no income to pay for all the bills that are piling in, family at times might as well be non-existent because it's been all about them the entire time. And I just sit here, in a hospital bed, been here for four weeks only allowed to make trips to the bathroom in my room, and I'm expected to be here until delivery. I just feel so down. And so incredibly alone.
Sorry all for that huge post, but it feels good to get it all out. Again I don't expect comments or sympathy, I just wanted to let my fingers pour out my thoughts and feelings. Congrats to all the other expecting mom's out there. The first timers like myself, and the veteran mom's who have given me such useful advice and encouragement throughout my struggle.
Thank you :)
I'm emotionally and mentally torn apart. I've gotten over the man getting me pregnant and having not even the common decency to see how I'm doing, let alone ask about anything. He's already gotten his fair share of "information" and the word I use lightly, as it is more so dramatic rumors he's heard as we both worked at the same place when all of this ended between us. The whole location we worked at spoke incessantly about how I was disgusting, and a s*** for getting pregnant (funny how being engaged and them leaving you makes you a s***), and then when I was 20 weeks along, it was rumored that I was having an abortion done (because people who after smoking for 7 years quit when they get pregnant when they are planning on terminating it). This whole thing was also funny to me, seeing as the only people I even told I was pregnant to was my manager and department just in case I had any medical concerns in the beginning (morning sickness, etc.) that could make it difficult not to leave my station often (I was a pharmacy technician, we'll talk about why "was" is used in a moment).
My job, it not only entailed the dirty looks, the whispering, the drama, and the rumors hatefully spread around about me, but it also affected me health and sanity wise. Where I worked you were supposed to get a break as I'm assuming anywhere would/should allow, and I paid union dues, so you'd think that allowing for written work restrictions from a doctor would be taken into account, but they refused mine. The whole sitting for 10 minutes every 2 hours, drinking water and getting to eat during my shifts, getting at least a 30 minute break to eat a full meal, no lifting over 20 lbs and getting restroom breaks was apparently too much to expect from my employer. My doctor stated it usually went 6 months leave, or fired if they don't comply with restrictions. Well, I applied for leave since they wouldn't comply and I was already consistently contracting and cramping and being on my feet all day without getting a break or sitting down or drinking water and being lucky not to be expected to pee my pants at times. After a month and a half of no paperwork being submitted by my doctor, my claim was denied for leave, my doctor also ended up refusing to fill out the paperwork. I was ******. Work said they'd wait until April 15th for documentation on returning to work or going on leave from my doctor, but without my knowledge seeing as they never bothered to let me know, they put me on the schedule for the 12th, 13th, and 14th of April, pinning me with 3 no call, no shows and therefore were planning on firing me due to "job abandonment". (I'm still dealing with this).
Currently, I've been hospitalized (since I was 26wks+4 days) as I dilated to 1cm, my cervix (which is now unmeasurable) is fully effaced and has funneling, and baby could come at any time. I've been on strict bed rest for a month now. Can't work (how convenient they couldn't have checked me sooner and realized when I said something wasn't right, that I knew what I was talking about), I also now that I basically have no job, have no income, and my insurance isn't covering me to stay here in the hospital, and I've also got college loans now that are surfacing even though mid-pregnancy I actually requested the price so that I could pay it off in full, which I supposedly had paid off months ago.
My great aunt also passed away to top it all off. She was 73, and the most angelic person this world might have ever seen, she never had a bad word to say about anyone, and put everyone before herself. She passed away after being put through heart surgeries almost two months ago. She took her last breath on life support (which she requested she not be on) while I was holding her hand.
I just feel like I'm going through all of this alone. My boyfriend isn't here much, I don't expect him to be, but he can't physically be there for me even when I need him most due to work and his family. Course I understand this isn't biologically his baby, so I don't exactly expect anything from him at all in that sense, but that we are dating and he does want to be part of my life, and also treat my baby as his own, it would make me feel more content if he were there for me more.
And my parents, well. While typing this out, they came to visit, they were here fifteen minutes. And after I got overwhelmed with everything going on (it's like this all just hit me) I sat and bawled my eyes out while they sat in silence, occasionally stealing glances at me. And when I finally spoke and basically asked for advice, or someone to say a word, basically all I got out of them was "well now you know what we go through." No. They don't know what I go through. I'm young, pregnant, an emotional wreck, I've lost my job due to my pregnancy and doctor's negligence, and have no income to pay for all the bills that are piling in, family at times might as well be non-existent because it's been all about them the entire time. And I just sit here, in a hospital bed, been here for four weeks only allowed to make trips to the bathroom in my room, and I'm expected to be here until delivery. I just feel so down. And so incredibly alone.
Sorry all for that huge post, but it feels good to get it all out. Again I don't expect comments or sympathy, I just wanted to let my fingers pour out my thoughts and feelings. Congrats to all the other expecting mom's out there. The first timers like myself, and the veteran mom's who have given me such useful advice and encouragement throughout my struggle.
Thank you :)
Aww im so sorry hunny. Thats so hard to go through this but just know yiy are NOT alone. There are many ladies here who love you and are rooting for.you. I am one of those ladies. Iknow we have never met but we have shared similar problems through our pregnancy and have been connected through the worst of times. Stay strong and know things will get better. That babe is yours not his. If he cared he would be by yiur side everyday and he hasnt. Yiur gonna be an amazing mommy and your son is lucky to have such a wonderful mother who loves and cares for him.
Don't put him on the birth certificate. That makes it harder for him to do anything. Also, the court will see what a butt he's been. You are a mommy. You have all the fight you can need. :)
You can do this! My Mom always likes to say, "we aren't handed anything we can't handle, but it'd be nice if life/the universe/ God didn't trust us so much.
Money, work,and family drama are hard, especially when you're pregnant, but you're going to be stronger because of this and in the end it's all worth it for that wonderful miracle growing inside you.
I'll be praying for you and your beautiful baby.
Money, work,and family drama are hard, especially when you're pregnant, but you're going to be stronger because of this and in the end it's all worth it for that wonderful miracle growing inside you.
I'll be praying for you and your beautiful baby.
Thanks for all the unexpected encouraging wishes everyone. I've made it almost 8 months and I just feel increasingly overwhelmed. I tried filing for FMLA with work, they are the ones who denied my claim to be on leave. I also have the medicaid card, which I found is the insurance not wanting le to have been in the hospital for what turned into my extended stay. I fought and tried to do everything right and all the while dealing with pregnancy pain and symptoms like harder contractions before even the midpoint of the pregnancy that I knew weren't right, but nobody cared to listen or had the time. I sit alone just about every single day aside from when the boyfriend makes his way over by myself in this hospital, driving my insane. The other thing that bothers me about my pregnancy is I've chosen to keep it mostly secret. There's only family and my boyfriend and a couple of others who even know I'm pregnant. So no ultrasound picture, baby bump pictures or annoucncements on facebook when I found out I was having a baby, and then that I was having a boy. Which depresses me further because hiding this is ridiculous, but in the way that I got pregnant and how I didn't want the guy knowing any important details like gender, name, or when I went into labor, I chose to keep it a secret. He's done nothing but talk s*** about me since the split up, and only spoke to me one time after to say he wasn't going to pay my bills with Dr appointment bills I couldn't afford. So I refuse to give him any insight. Also he lives with his aunt (she's by marriage) they both say they are planning to fight it out in court for custody is what was also rumored around our workplace. That she would be damned if they never saw my baby which apparently when he comes out is theirs, but while I'm carrying them they've had nothing to do with me, and in fact hadn't even bothered to ever ask me if the rumors were true so they don't even know from me whether or not I'm still pregnant or what's going on. But I like how I've been through hell, I've put my baby first I've taken care of myself even thought I've been so down and out just so my baby was healthy and taken care of. But yet they feel they can walk in, scoop him up after and take him from me? That's another thing that kills and forever haunts me through this. But thanks so much for all the kind words everyone. I'm slowly making it closer to my due date, which is exciting. I can't wait to see him, but being high risk and ready to go into labor at any moment, my body better keep him in longer no matter how anxious I am awaiting his arrival to see his little face
AWW im so sorry that sounds horrible. But you should research the FMLA in your state u can get ur job in serious trouble for firing you due to pregnancy. pregnancy is covered under the family medical leave act. *HUG*
I'm sorry to read what your going through right now. My son is 20 days now, but before he was born I had my share of negativity & problems myself. They were so bad that I was in & out of the hospital myself, even fell into a bad depression where I got so sick that I couldn't eat or drink anything. I had a lot more happen tp me but it's not important anymore since I want to forget what my husbs did & put me through. Anyways, ever since my son was born, I've put everything a side & been dealing with fixing one problem at a time. Having my son & looking into his precious eyes made me realize what & who is more important to me. My self esteem has gotten better & I also was able to confront my husband on things that he did while I was pregnant, which he realized & apologized for. Iknow it feels like the world is crashing down on u, but as soon as your baby is born, your mothers instinct of protecting your baby will kick in & you will know on your own what u need to do to fix everything your going through. I know it's hard to do but don't give up & try to deal with 1 problem at a time because dealing with everything at once can get overwhelming. Good luck to you!
My grandma (who I miss so much) used to always say, ”From the day we are born, till we ride in a hearse, things are never so bad that they couldn't be worse”. I am not saying that to.be cold, but from a warm place. I've had to recite that little poem to myself so much in the last couple weeks its scary. All will be well, you just have take things, people, and situations one at a time. Focus on whats important, which is a healthy baby, and deal with everything else later. I wish you nothing but the best and you're in my thoughts.
My god you've gone through it huni I thought my first preg was bad with no one around and the dad being an arss but I know how you feel even if its just a little bit and I deeply feel for you try and keep your chin up for you and your baby xx were all here when you need to talk or rant xx
I feel for you, honestly I do. my Pregnancy has been one filled with turmoil and stress also. my husband became abusive only after we discovered I'm pregnant, which is odd because this was a planned Pregnancy. I'm hit, pushed, pulled and sworn at on a daily basis, suddenly he has no time or patience for my 2 children from a previous marriage. I've been rushed to hospital twice for stress related complications and still he won't stop. to make it worse I'm unemployed and penniless, with every member of my family living in new Zealand while I live in south Africa. sadly in south Africa the government doesn't aid financially so because I can't face living on the street with 2 children and pregnant I stay with this man. all in all I understand why you are overwhelmed, I feel it too.
Wow!!! First off I wanna say STAY STRONG! I am going through something similar to your story...I'm 23 and pregnant with my first child (32 weeks along). My family isn't much support AT ALL! My mother is pregnant as well so we are pregnant at the same time and she acts as if this is a competition or something. The father of my child is an a$$ and work has me on my feet for 12 hours straight with no breaks and no days off!!! However, an ex up mine stepped up just as your boyfriend and is there for me. Not as much as I would like but I count my blessings. So try to do that hun! Remember you have a great man by your side and remember a beautiful gift is on the way...it is really hard! Trust me I know! But God made women strong for a reason! You can do it! I will be praying for you sweetie and your baby! About work...its sounds like you have a case! Do some research, call an attorney and apply for medicade (idk if I spelled that correctly lol) to take care of your medical bills! Stay strong girlie!!! ;-)
God never gives you more then you can handle.. you will come out on top as a stronger women and mommy!! Good luck with baby and prayers your way...
Remember you are not alone...we may be just words on a screen right now, but you have some of us rooting in your corner for you and here for ya. Itstinks not having a supportive family. But right now, you can't do anything about that so let it go til you can. As for the job, you are union and paid dues...contact them for help. That's what those dues are for. They have an attorney on hand to help you through the discrimination and harassment they put you through. As for the ex.....work on getting child support for the little one. That's all he is worth anyway. glad you are over him. :) New guy sounds great. It's a lot to take on so just focus on the positives with him. Now....take a deep breath and count to 10. When you start getting overwhelmed, do this...and do it as many times as it takes to keep calm. You need to for baby. You're never alone. If you were here I'd give ya a big hug n tell you that thing will work out. keep your chin up. We are here for ya.
Sweetheart, to all who give you a tough time, screw them! They are the ones who will lose in the end. You are better than that. Next, keep the documents and go to your fair labor office after the baby is born. File complaints. Also contact an attorney. Next, ask for the hospital social worker. Apply for medicaid. You have no income, you qualify. It will take care of the bill. Next, talk to your bf. He sounds like an awesome guy. Tell him what you just told us. Hell, let him read this post. It maybe easier. And last, if you need to I will inbox you my contact info. That way you can get in touch. Lots of luv.
Aw your post came straight from the heart. I have a relationship similar to what you have with your parents. I feel ya. It's rough what your going through, ill be praying for you every night. I'm glad you had somewhere to vent about this, vent all youwant, the ladies on this forum are great. Your going to pull through this, you and your baby. <3
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