Pregnancy: April 2012 Babies Community
Pushy mother in law
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Pushy mother in law

As the big day is getting closer my mother in law is slowly taking more and more control. How do I make her and my husband understand that I'm just not comfortable with her being in the room. She says "he is also going to need support, mental support during your labor." SERIOUSLY!?! When ever he pushes a kid out she is more than welcome to be in the room to support him!
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Avatar_f_tn
Wow that is a first!  I am surprised your hubby is still walking striaght after that comment.  I wonder if you can get the nurse alone and tell her that you only want your hubby in the room.  They are pretty good at kicking people out without making you look like the bad guy.  If that doesn't work ask the Dr if can also cut the cord between hubby and his mom too.  Good luck!
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Avatar_f_tn
Hahaha that's what I said! I just want to make sure I'm not the only one that feels this way. I don't want to be a mean daughter in law but I'm sry I dont want her in there! I think the most important thing is for my baby to be born healthy and me being nervous and worried about what she is seeing will not help that.
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1654035_tn?1332428778
You need to be honest and let her know this is your delivery and ultimately you need to be comfortable and feel good about the situation. I did not have anyone is the delivery room for my first except my husband and for the second it is going to be the same way. I am OK if people want to come and visit me prior to the pushing and labor piece. Mental support can happen before if he really needs it??? tell her she can wait in the waiting room and provide support from there. When my sister had her baby mom and I stood outside the door and let them have their privacy.
Really you need to be honest, but focus on not having an argument or yelling so she doesn't take it the wrong way and understands this is about you and not her, she had her day for her son.
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1967331_tn?1327883644
luckily you are not as blunt as i am.... i would really tell her to get real in some not so nice words.... really he needs mental support???? never heard that one before.... i would tell her exactly what you stated above when he pushes out a baby she will be more than welcome in the delivery room other than that she should be satisfied with waiting in the waiting room or just not come to the hospital at all! this is an experience for you and your husband and if you arent comfortable with her being there she shouldnt be allowed.... maybe you can talk to the nurses they maybe able to help  like the nurses at the hospital says its up to me to have who i want in the room and everyone else they will kick them out of the delivery room
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1755745_tn?1313370731
Uggg...this is totally something that my first husband's mom would have said...brings back memories LOL! Personally, I think your HUSBAND should stick up for you and let her know your wishes and stress how he supports those wishes (or take on the role of "bad guy" himself and indicate that HE prefers it just be the two of you in the room). Wow...your man needs "mental support?" That's a good one. Totally keep us updated on what happens!
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Avatar_f_tn
Well she has decided this morning that it will hurt to bad to be told to leave when I'm ready to push so if she can't be in the room then she just won't go at all. Really?
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1755745_tn?1313370731
Lame, lame, lame! She'll just have to get over it. Unbelievable....I'll bet she changes her mind and shows up anyway.
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1967331_tn?1327883644
well then if thats her decision go with it... she wont stay away forever... then she can just come down after baby is born.... but stick to your guns amd i agree your husband should be a little more supportive in letter her know how you feel about the situation
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1654035_tn?1332428778
That is her decision and you can always remind her later that you did not say she couldn't be there at all you just didn't want her there for the actual pushing/labor part because this is a special time for you and your husband alone. She will probably show up anyway, just make sure you let your nurses know you don't want anyone in there except your husband in case she tries to push her way in when you are busy with other things. It will ultimatly be her loss, but really she doesn't need to be there, in-laws are best once the baby is born, you will want her help once baby is born and you are really needing a nap.
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Avatar_f_tn
Oh hell no. No in-laws in the room. I'm with you. I love mine but they would drive me crazy if they were there. In fact even my parents won't be there. Just tell everyone to stay at home and they'll get the call when the baby's born. Make this about you, your husband, and your baby- no one else. The last thing you need are people inhibiting your labor process.
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Avatar_f_tn
Anything new from the monster-in- law or does she have her panties in a bunch still?
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Avatar_m_tn
You will have to put your foot down on the whole delivery thing.  My mother in law wanted to be in the room too but I got lucky cause the delivery ward would only allow two additional persons for the birth.  That meant hubby and my mom.  But ifthat had not been the case I would have said no that I was not comfortable with that.  Start setting rules early on or she will try to be very controlling.  My mother in law did and I ended up finally having to stand firm with her when it came to our child because my husband would not.   Things are betterwith her but they will never be great between us because she tries to be pushy and does not know when to leave well enough alone and that part of her will never change.  This has definitely caused tension between my husband and myself because he feels like I should just be submissive to her and I say nooooo waaaay.  But that is just part of marriage you marry into the family too.
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179530_tn?1368940203
Oh my Gosh sister! You MIL is a total… um, wow… yea. I’m trying to cool it.

Ug, I’m sorry she is having such a hard time emphasizing. Maybe it’s been too long since she has had her vagina exposed in a room. This is a very serious situation and something you shouldn’t have to be stressing about before YOU push your baby out. Hopefully she will come to realize that.  
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