I need help.....

[curtism2008]

Everbody- how on earth do I get my husband to wake up with the baby once in a while?
I have been getting up in the middle of the night to tend to her and getting up with her every single morning.
There has only been 2 cases were ge did get up to let me "sleep in" and both times he woke me up several times with in the first hour asking where stuff is!

I just need a little bit more sleep since I am very fatiged from Aubrey (5 months 01/28/10) and being 9 weeks pregnant.
I really need some advice. :)

[SoCalTricia]

I feel very fortunate for having the husband I do...so of my most precious memories of when Ian was here are of lying in bed listening to my husband whisper to him while he thought I was asleep. Telling him he's so glad he has his mom's blue eyes, and telling him not to cry because they have to let mommy sleep. He was so cute with Ian.

Anyway...I know your concerns are real, and I know getting up with the baby all the time is exhausting. But count your blessings...because I would love to trade places with you. I wish I still had a baby to get up with in the middle of the night. And I'm not saying this to be a "Debby Downer." I'm just saying that time is so fleeting - you never know now long you'll have your loved ones, and your babies won't stay babies forever. :-)

Tricia

[NicMom]

This is funny in a sad kind of way. I'm wondering if we're married to the same man?! My dh is the exact same way! He says "I can't hear the baby like you do, it's because your so in tune as a mom". Then on the weekend when I anticipate that he will wake up and help me out because he doesn't have to work he hangs out at the house with friends and drinks beer. One thing I have learned is that men do not do things unless you flat out ask them. You can't hint that you need help. You have to say HONEY TONIGHT YOU ARE WATCHING THE BABY AND TAKING CARE OF HER IN THE MORNING. That's the only way it works for me. I only ask for help about once every other week. He's a turkey and thinks that he's the man who brings home the bacon so I should just do all things domestic and not bother him with it. When we both worked I made as much money as him and my job was just as important. It's funny I feel like I've been demoted!

[curtism2008]

Thanks for the comment. Yeah, lately its been more- he has is friends over and they have a few beers and hang out. I've tried the whole " if you dont help me- you cant do this..." but he is just so thick-headed it drives me right up the wall! He gets mad at me (yeah mad at me!) if i wake him up at night to make a freaking bottle!
* He works 3 rd shift at both of his jobs!!! so being up at night shouldnt be a thing!*
I have to wait for him to go to work (roughly anytime from 10pm- midnight) before I can lay aubrey down (she shares a room with us) so she wont bother him. So, that means I dont get to sleep until 1-2am and since I have had so much on my mind it takes so long to fall asleep so around 3-4am is when i do finally fall asleep. Then Aubrey wakes anywhere from 5am-9am.
I've been logging on here and talking to people and also I have been keeping a journal thinking that I'll just do these things before I go to bed and I will have an easier time falling asleep. It worked for maybe for the first week but that plan seemed to fail.

Thank you for comment again :)

[curtism2008]

well, i guess it does help that I am not the only one going through this. my DH does the same thing; "if i hear the baby- ill get up" ticks me off. he claims that he does get up in the night with her- which i think is BS because i am the one doing it. >;(.
I quit my job when I was pregnant and the break from Aug to now I still havent been able to find work (well, now it wouldnt last because I am preggy again). He was fortunate enough to get a 2nd job and he does the same thing- "I work- I'm the only one that works, you have it easy bc you just sit here with aubrey" omg! was an ***! Taking care of a baby is a full-time freaking job! Like I said- it is really tiring since I am also carrying.
I just want to cry sometime- I do cry (I even do it in front of him lol) just so i'll get something out of him. Thanks though.

[kaprovea]

I don't know if he likes to watch sports or go out with is friends or play poker or anything else that he really likes to do but I tell my husband that he won't get to do these things if he doesn't help with the baby.  I also tell him that he also chose this as a part of his life and I never went into this on my own.  I don't know if this will help you.

[blueeyedtabbycat]

aw hun, im sorry I have no advise for you. I am and always have been in the same boat as you. With all 4 of my children I have felt like a single mom. My DH doesnt get up with the babies, never has. He feels house work is a womans job especaily if he is working and im not, the same goes for middle of the nights with babies. He will claim that if he heard them he would wake up but I dont beleive it.  But serioulsy he doesnt hear them and if he does he will shake me awake and be like "the baby is crying" UGH! Its so frustrating. He still hasnt changed Taylors diaper yet and she is 5 months old!!! He is a work o holic and isnt around much so ............Whatever:~( But I have to say it was the hardest with my last two.11 months apart is not a big enought age gap for me, lol Being pregnant and having a baby to take care of is killer. Maybe someone from your family could take the baby for a few hours and let you get a nice nap in:~) Good luck!

Tabitha