Is Anyone Doing This Alone??

[jiliandee]

So my baby's dad walked, which I'm okay with but I live in Chicago, all of my family is still back in my home town. I didn't know if there was anyone else doing this all alone. Most of the days I'm fine with it but some days I break down because I'm so excited but really have no one here to experience it with me. Any tricks to coping?

[Crysi]

I am 19 and going alone a it. The father has not and will not be involved. My ex (before the baby dad) wants involved and my Mom is helping as much as she can but emotionally I know how you feel. It's hard but I know in my case that not having the father around is healthier for everyone

[SoCalTricia]

I'm not alone this time, but I have an 18 y.o. and a 9 y.o. that I've raised alone until I met my husband almost two years ago. I know how alone you can feel...and I did have my family close, so that made a difference. But, what made an even bigger difference was developing a support system of friends - coworkers, other mothers, neighbors. I became so close with many of them, and so many were supportive. I truly couldn't have done it without that support system. And it won't happen on it's own...you have to make an effort to build that for yourself and for your baby. Don't think it's ALL on you - drum up the courage to make new friendships. Get involved in some classes, either at a local junior college, or a church. I ended up making wonderful friends in my birthing class! We already had the babies in common...and it didn't seem to matter to them that I was the only single one in there. Also, you can meet some fantastic women online. Just be careful about personal info. But I have some very close friends that I've met online...we communicated for years before meeting in person, but now we get together once a year or so. If you want to talk, just email me...I definately have single-mom experience!

Tricia

[worriedbabe]

i'm doing it alone. if i wanna talk, i phone friends, family or talk to you guys on here. Personally, the point i'm at is that i'd rather do it alone than have the dad around. and it's extremely rare that i think of him.

[YvetteY]

By the way...you never know...you may work things out with the father.   I do know exactly how you're feeling, but you will get through this and it won't bother you as much once the baby gets here.  You'll be very busy with the baby and by then you'll be more at peace with the situation if you don't get back together.   I do hope all the best for you!!  Surround yourself with family and friends and I promise this will make things easier.

[YvetteY]

I know this is hard.  I had to do this myself 19 years ago.   I was living with my boyfriend.  We split up and I found out I was pregnant.  he didn't want anything to do with me or the baby.  He said if you're keeping this baby it's yours.  I'm out of the picture.   And I'll be darn if that wasn't the case.  I have seen him once in that 19 year period. and he's never been in my child's life.  

LIke you I was living away from my family in another state. I did move back home and moved in with my mom and little sister.  i was 23 yrs old back then, so I wasn't too thrilled about that.  But when the baby came, they were great to have around.  I certainly wouldn't have been able to do it otherwise.   Which kills me now since I'm pregnant and my mom passed away two years ago.  I want my mom more than my DH!!   I had to quit my job and pack my stuff and just move back home.  And to be honest, my mom and sister were such a big help. I was sad about the father not being around and it was hard for me at the child preparation classes, but you get through it all.  

I did give up a lot moving back in with my mom as far as my life goals, but eventually I did get back on track for the most part.  

To be honest it took a good 2 or 3 years to get him out of my mind.   But like they say...time heals all wounds.  Now I don't even think about him at all.