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730826 tn?1317943334

baby blues. Rant.

My beautiful girl, Evelyn was born on august 11th, 3 days after my husband got home. He had to go back (to afghanistan) 2 weeks after she was born. I had to get an episiotomy which was ok, but the more moving around I did (ie going places) teh more it ripped. It ripped really bad and I was crying for 3 days straight. I went to the er and they just told me to keep doing what I had been, taking tylenol. The next ay my mom called the doc and they said soak every hour rather than every time I went to the bathroom. After doing that I was better within the day, still sore but I stopped crying. The first week and a half going through that was very depressing since I coudlnt do ANYTHING. MY mom and husband were told to take full care of my daughter and I was to do nothing. Since then, things have been ok but I get really depressed easy. If she cries and I cant make her stop, I feel like a horrible mother and break down and cry. She has also been waking up in a bloodymurder scream that just terrifies me, I feel so helpless and like the world is going to end.

Recently my friend who lives back home (in a few provinces over staying with my parents for help) got a call saying her husband was injured overseas. Hes ok and is going back out. She is in need of a friend since she has no family so I have agreed to go back home. Im leaving in a few days to go back there but am really worried since yesterday and today I have been depressed. I feel like I need a break from parenting but will never get that. Here, my mom will take her from me for an hour or more if I wanted, everyday to just spend time with her, but I wont have that once I go home. Im perfectly capable of taking care of her on my own but things are easier when I have more eyes watching her so I can do simple things like shower and clean.I know if I ask my friend, she will take on mommy-of-two role but asking everyday for a break is a bit much. I just hate feeling like a failure as a mother and a person for not being able to balance the simple task of showering uninterrupted and being a mom. I guess Im not asking for advice since I do try to feed her before I do something and try to keep her busy while Im busy such as sleeping, but I guess I just need to let it all out.
6 Responses
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730826 tn?1317943334
Thank you very much! it was every coupe days Ive been really missing hubby. This morning I got a call from hubby (usually hear from him once a week) He had great news, he has his return DATE! We were hoping he would be home for christmas, and guess what.... HES HOME DATE IS FOR NOVEMBER 13TH!
Helpful - 0
1012334 tn?1283702979
It is good to hear that you are doing better than you thought you would, a little bit of self confidence goes a long ways sometimes. Keep an eye on your emotions though, not having as many people around can make it were you don't notice as much if you are slipping into depression. Glad things are going good and that you are doing fine with your baby! Good luck!
Helpful - 0
730826 tn?1317943334
Im back home on my own now and am managing WAY better than I thought.I feel better too. I guess no having people around always helping makes me feel so much more capable because I CAN do it on my own. When they were there I thought I NEEDED them.
Helpful - 0
1173196 tn?1292916490
I think what you are feeling is normal. Especially with your hubby being away. Having a baby can be very overwhelming. Plus your hormones are out of wack. I'm on my 4th baby and I still can't get a shower or do the dishes every day. You should tell your Dr if you don't feel better though.
Helpful - 0
730826 tn?1317943334
Ugh. Im not even doing any housework or any cooking while Im here so its going to be a bigger challenge. Im hoping Ill get through showering sooner than 6 months. I would feel pretty dumb if I had planned to have a baby while hubby was gone.
Helpful - 0
134578 tn?1693250592
For what it's worth, in my first six months, getting a shower and getting my hair dry (because it made my son scream to hear the blow dryer) were the two hardest things about taking care of my son.  Sounds kind of comically small, but I judged a day as successful or not by whether or not I had been able to get clean.
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