Moms with two or more

[smjmekg]

I feel like a first time mom, but for a VBAC I am...I just realized yesterday I could potentially only have 10 weeks 5 days left before baby is born...I'd be full term (37 weeks)...I've said from the beginning she'll be here November 30th, 8lbs 6oz 20 inches...that gives me 12 weeks and 3 days remaining, no matter what no more than 13 weeks 5 days left, because I doubt this hospital will let me go past my due date, what I've gotten from my dr so far is that they don't really like late babies, that's ok, but I'm not gonna opt for a c-section just cause I'm past my due date...baby will come when she's good and ready.

ANYWAYS, back on subject...I've been thinking a lot about the labor and delivery part. As some of you may have read I want as natural as I can get, with as little medical intervention as possible with this being my first VBAC. BUT I have no clue what/when to get prepared. I mean, I know hospital bag, things baby will need, things I will need, etc, but the things I don't have a clue on are like...
-When should I call my cousin (only family within 10 hours, she's one hour away) and ask her about coming to stay with Elijah?
-How long should I wait when I go into labor to call her to come stay with Elijah?
-When should I start my birth plan
-What should I put in my birth plan?
-Should I have my cousin wait at the hospital with Elijah?
-Should I have her stay at our house with him until the baby is born? (DH would have to escort her on base since she doesn't have a military ID so he'd have to leave and come back)
-Should I bring anything besides a birth plan, in case DH freaks out, or gets overwhelmed, and I'm not in a state of mind to be making decisions, ie if they try to get me to do an unneeded c-section?

Total first time birth syndrome going on, I don't know if it's too early to be worrying about any of this, but I'm not one to just go with the flow most of the time, or "play it by ear". I like to have everything laid out in front of me so I can look at it and say "ok this is now, this is next, that's later". I like having a schedule, and I know the whole L&D part of pregnancy can be completely unpredictable and anything can happen and everything change in a second, but I'd like to be as prepared as possible.

[Caralea]

I have 1 natural child of my own who is 3 and 2 step-kids, 6 and 3 years old. I will not be having them with me at the hospital or in the room. As you know this is also my first VBAC. As for a birth plan, I didnt have one in writting, but the nurses and doctors had my requests in chart from prior descussions. It still didnt go completely according to plan.


This time, I dont want to write out a birth plan- my state has lots of regulations for VBACs and I have a wonderful midwife. Her and I have already discussed my wishes and or if they are even possible with the state regulations. We will probably discuss them many times over between now and birth any how- so I am not really concerned about it.

As for your specific questions:

When should I call my cousin (only family within 10 hours, she's one hour away) and ask her about coming to stay with Elijah?  **I agree with the past comments, you should call as soon as you feel the labor and need her to get your son, an hour could seem like forever in labor. You could take him with you if needed and have her meet you there so you are in medical care. I see the reason to try other wise as it is a military hospital, but you and babies safety is just as important as getting a sitter for your son.

-How long should I wait when I go into labor to call her to come stay with Elijah?  **waiting is all going to be determined by that baby girl and how fast she wants to be here. VBACs have different rules in each state and I believe my Dr would want me in asap with contractions.. so kids would have to be taken care of right away. Thank god I have family on the way to the hospital- which may take me 45mins to get to. So I kind of have the opposite problem, I need to get there.

-What should I put in my birth plan? **Now, better early than late or never if you are really set on having one

-Should I have my cousin wait at the hospital with Elijah? **The hospital may be the best place for your son, depending on if he can handle a possible long wait. or If it is the middle of the night- at home maybe easier for your cousin to transition him to welcoming new baby sister.

-Should I have her stay at our house with him until the baby is born? (DH would have to escort her on base since she doesn't have a military ID so he'd have to leave and come back) **See above

-Should I bring anything besides a birth plan, in case DH freaks out, or gets overwhelmed, and I'm not in a state of mind to be making decisions, ie if they try to get me to do an unneeded c-section? **I dont think I have an answer for this one, as I will have my husband, mom and possibly grandma there to make decisions for me. My birth plan or "thoughts" went out the window when my son was in trouble during my last delivery. So this one is all up in the air.

GOOD LUCK to you and the VBAC.. I know how badly I want one, so I can imagine your anxieties during the pregnancy to get to d-day healthy/happy and hopefully vertually painless.

I hope I answered all of your questions or gave you a different perspective that may help. ;-)

[Chez_lee81]

I also have two children. They will be at the hospital during delivery with an aunt. They will probably be in the room while I labour and in a quiet area during delivery. However my eldest who is 10 thinks he might like to stay in the room while his sibling in born. I am in two minds about this and I think we will just wait and see what happens on the day.

He wanted to stay when his little brother was born but chose  to go to nans house about an hour before he arrived. It got a bit too much for him. He was back at the hospital within 30 minutes of DS2 appearing and that was in the middle of the night. He is old enough to make up his mind about this, I certainly would allow him to be there if he truly wanted but I am not going to encourage the idea.

My DH is trying to weasel out of this delivery. I told him 'his life would not be worth living if he missed it.' We both wanted this child so he will be there to see it come into the world. He had the hide to tell me that birthing was a bit confronting. HA HA. I said if it is confronting for you, how do you think it is for me? MEN>>>  He just stands around like a stunned mullet. My mum really is my support during labour and she just seems to know instinctively what to do. When I need her and when I want her to go away. But yes, I still need DH there.

We also have to travel to get to the hospital. (40 minutes) I will be in that car as soon as any regularity starts. My last birth was only about 4 hours. I may not go straight to the hospital but I will certainly be in close proximity. There is a park and picnic area a block from the hospital. The kids will think it is a bit of a treat getting both mum and dad to the park at the same time. Might even find time to squeeze in a Macca's ice-cream.

[connorethansmom]

This is my third as well...my two are ages 4 and 2.

-When should I call my cousin (only family within 10 hours, she's one hour away) and ask her about coming to stay with Elijah?

I would call when you start to feel some regularity to your contractions.  With you wanting to stay as natural as possible, I suspect you plan on staying home longer.

-How long should I wait when I go into labor to call her to come stay with Elijah?

I would have Elijah at the hospital with you with your cousin.  We are doing something similar with my mom and having her stay with the kids at the hospital while I deliver.  They might be in the room during L&D if they want to.  We are still seeing what their level of interest is.


-When should I start my birth plan

Anytime.

-What should I put in my birth plan?

I put everything in my birth plan with the first one.  I ended up having an epi and needing a vaccuum something I didn't want.  The second time I mentioned to the nurse when we got admitted that I would rather tear than have an episiotomy and that I would like NOT to be offered drugs.  I would ask for them when needed.  I was induced the second time.

I am not doing a birth plan this time.  They don't seem very well taken with the doctor or nurses so I hope to verbally tell them my main requests in a nice positve way.  I also am delivering at the same hospital for the third time.  I know a lot of the proceedures and agree with them.  I would consider talking with your doctor, touring the hospital and asking questions to see that of your views jive with theirs.  That way you know how much/if any you are going to have to fight for what you truly want.

-Should I have my cousin wait at the hospital with Elijah?

I would.  I think that would be easier on him.  Depending upon when you get to the hospital you might be able to spend some time with him prior to hard labor and you will be able to see him right after.  I want my kids to be there when their little brother has his first bath, gets dressed, etc.

-Should I have her stay at our house with him until the baby is born? (DH would have to escort her on base since she doesn't have a military ID so he'd have to leave and come back)

Our son wasn't at the hospital when our daughter was born in fact he was asleep so he didn't see her until the next morning.  He was 2.5 when she was born and I don't think he thinks he missed out on much.  So if you decide to do that I think he will be fine too.

-Should I bring anything besides a birth plan, in case DH freaks out, or gets overwhelmed, and I'm not in a state of mind to be making decisions, ie if they try to get me to do an unneeded c-section?

I think you will be fine.  If your DH freaks out then I would hope that he is for an important reason and you need attention and a decision made now.  Otherwise express your fears with your DH ahead of time and get on the same page with the "what ifs" so he knows what you truly want.

[beautifulgirls]

You know I was reading through your questions and found them to be great questions, one's I think are not asked a lot. I do have 2 other children so this was my philosophy with both.
First may I ask how old your son is? I always wanted my kids there with me because I wanted them to have that experience on so may levels. Even if they are not in the room during the delivery I still wanted them there to be one of the 1st people they would meet. now of course if your son is under a certain age I would just have someone on call and they can bring you son after the birth. Especially if it is like 2am.  I would call any family or friends that maybe further asap. I had a friend who lived an hour away and by the time she got there I was in full swing. So that kind of answers all the rest of your questions. Labor is so unpredictable that as soon as you start to labor make all your calls. My first daughter took 1 hour and my other daughter took about 12-13 hours.
As per the birth plan, I never had one. But I can't see where it would be a bad things. I would start it now. You never know when that may happen.  If you think your husband would freak out then you really should. Just include all your wants and needs. But please understand that Dr.'s sometimes have to make decisions that can only help you or your doctor. I knew one woman who asked that they not use forcepts but the doctor had to because the baby was stuck and was starting to distress. But I also know someone who asked for certain medical things, such as..." If my level of pain becomes unbearable and I asked for an epidural please ask me to reconsider as I want an all natural birth. No matter how many times I ask, this is my request". So I guess bottom line is you need to decide also what exactly you want your birth plan to reflect.
I hope maybe some or all of this helps. You want it to be as stress free as possible and a great experience for you and your family. Keep me updated.