vent...

[Zavionmom2013]

I'm 16 and a ftm 33+5 but my step mom went to the doctor recently and found out she can't have kids :( she has been trying for 10+ years she cried and cried and that same day I went for my ultrasound and the pics were on the counter (dad had them there) she saw them and went into a rage she ripped them and started screaming at me :( I feel bad because i'm Prego nn she can't have kids ion kno Wat to say

[Zavionmom2013]

I'm not mad at all I actually feel sad and kinda know what she feeling,,last year I kept trying the doctor told me I can't have kids because I had chlamydia in the past I was crushed started to drink and everything had careless sex and now i'm Prego I Juss hope that isn't true I cried because for some reason I thinks it's my fault now :(

[AnnieBrooke]

One thing that you could say, that might possibly go over well with her if you can carry it off, is to say "I realize I am a walking example of everything you are sad about, and I'm so very sorry.  I'm sorry for your loss.  I really hope the doctor is wrong."  And then leave it at that.  If you don't think you can carry off saying it to her, write it to her in a note.  That might do very well and hit the right tone.

[AnnieBrooke]

I think the same way as emmaftm except I would not try to involve your stepmother in your pregnancy.  She faces a long walk in the dark alone, emotionally, right now.  It is that way when you learn you can't have kids.  All I would do is try to take it philosophically (even to the point of staying calm about the ultrasound pictures; try to mend them or ask your doctor sometime to get another ultrasound) -- after all, she has just been told news that to her is like the death of all her future babies.  Think how you would feel if you learned your baby had died, that is how she feels right now except about all future babies.  She doesn't want to know that anyone in the world gets a baby if she does not.  For an example that doesn't involve babies to make the point maybe a little clearer, how would you feel if you were living in a house with your best girlfriend and you had a painful breakup with your boyfriend and also learned you had a medical condition that made it highly unlikely or impossible for you ever to get another, and at the same time as she got with a wonderful boyfriend who lives only for her, and she brought him to live in your house?  Would you want to see them together all the time, with lovey dovey photos on the counter?  Not very darn much.  

Once she has calmed down a bit, ask her if she really thinks the doctor knows what he is talking about, and maybe shouldn't she get a second opinion.  One doctor truly does not know everything.  (There is also IVF, depending on what her physical issue is.)  But don't open this conversation unless the two of you seem to be having a really good talk, she doesn't sound ready for it (except the bracing suggestion that her doctor made a mistake, though maybe she doesn't want you suggesting anything.)

Try to downplay the situation as best you can.  If you can't live somewhere else, try to stay out of her sight for a while.  Just being there, being 16 and being pregnant, you are a walking symbol of the unfairness of life, to her.  I'm sorry.

[emmaftm]

It's got to be hard on her but ripping up your scan pics was selfish and mean. You might be young but she's your step mum and should stand by you along side your dad. Involve her in your pregnancy but don't let her make you feel bad. Me and my friend were pregnant at the same time a few years ago but I miscarried, it took me a long time to get over it but i never showed my friend how upset I was or let myself get jealous of her because it wasn't her fault.