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467707 tn?1270928640

My best friend just miscarried

This is so sad. My best friend of 25 years conceived just 6 days after me, we had the same EDD give or take a few days, and today she just e-mailed everyone to say that she had lost the baby and that she's fine but doesn't want to talk to anyone...

I feel so bad. My baby will always remind her of what she's lost. This is terrible.

I don't know what to say or how to comfort her. I want to help her through this yet I don't want to say something hurtful or insensitive. I have a tendency to talk faster than my brain can process ideas, I can say the wrong things and not even realize it. Please help
7 Responses
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658868 tn?1247257750
It must so hard to your friend and to you at this time, I'm terribly sorry for your friends' loss. I'm sure given a little time, your friend will come around and may want to talk about it. Give her this time and am sure, you will be able to talk to her and comfort her. Once again, I'm terribly sorry and hope all goes well with your friend.  
Helpful - 0
589779 tn?1235125028
hi, this happened to me and my best friend last year. our due dates were a week apart and i lost my baby at 11 weeks. give her time. it helped me that my friend included me in her pregnancy and eventually i was so happy for her.i am now her babies favorite aunty. dont ignore what has happened she will need you more than ever and both of you have to talk about it or it will build up in both of you.

love catbaloo
Helpful - 0
436469 tn?1248973845
Last year I had a m/c while 4 of my close friends were prego.  It was very hard.  They were all so nice, but it was hard to see their pregnant bellies...but, it would have been worse if they didn't acknowledge what I was going through.  I also didn't really want to talk about it at first, but it was nice to hear a voicemail,read a card, or read an e-mail.   It made me feel better that friends and family cared and were thinking of me.
Helpful - 0
325477 tn?1250551309
To find comforting words are always the hardest...when I m/c, I didn't want to talk to anybody....I would probly wait a day or two before talking to her about anything, give her sometime to grieve..
Helpful - 0
568659 tn?1256139982
I'm sorry, I know how you feel. My best friend that is also my co-worker got pregnant 2 weeks before me and lost her baby also, I didn't find out I was pg until 2 days after she found out the baby was dead. I didn't even want to tell her that I was pregnant. I am so afraid to even talk about my pregnancy without offending her or making her sad. Time will make it easier to talk about but just give her time to grieve and be there to listen.
Helpful - 0
229857 tn?1319029907
Lookingforward has a great idea. Just email her and say that you understand she doesnt want to talk but when she does you will be there for her...And then maybe in a few days ask to go to a girls day out shopping or to lunch if shes up to it??
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Oh, that's very sad indeed. I wonder if just sending her a quick e-mail letting her know that you respect and understand her need to not talk to anyone right now but that whenever she's ready, you'll be there to support her in whatever way she needs...

That way, you're giving her the space she needs while still reaching out.

Helpful - 0
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