I am on my second baby. I can share what I did with my first and it worked. I don't know if it will work with this baby but I am going to try it with her too. She is in a bassinet by our bed right now (I do sometimes end up bringing her to bed with me about 5am so I can get more sleep).
I transfered my first to the crib at 8 weeks (waiting a bit longer with this one as we will be away for a week next week and I want to maintain consistency). I rocked her to sleep for a couple of weeks after the transition so she would get used to the crib before starting the tough love. I would put her down while she was still awake (once she showed signs of being tired...cranky, rubbing eyes etc). I used a musical ocean wanders thing to help soothe her to sleep (+ a night light). My sister used the ocean wanders thing with my nephew plus a soother. You have to see what works best for your baby. There were days she would fall asleep nicely and other days NOT. I would let her cry (doc says crying is very good for babies) but I wouldn't let her cry more than 15 min or so. I would then pick her up, cuddle with her until she calmed down and would put her back down (awake). I would do this until she fell asleep on her own. Sometimes I would picked her up once but other days I would have to do it 2 or 3 times. Maintain consistency with it and eventually they get used to you putting them down awake and know this is the way it's going to be. She was one who wanted to be held all the time and to be rocked to sleep and it was tough for a couple of weeks but then it was pretty much smoothe sailing. There would be days that she would scream but pretty much only when she was overtired. Having a changed and fed baby helps too. Mine didn't like to be wet or dirty so she would cry if not changed.
I didn't start a routine with my first until she was about 3 months old as I wanted her to be a baby and do things the way she wanted. At the 3 month mark she would wake at 7:30 or 8 and go down for a nap at 10. Sleep for 3 hours, be up for 2 hours and go down for a couple more hours at around 3. She loved her sleep so I let her nap as long as she wanted. This baby doesn't like to sleep as much so routine with her will be different. Mine would nap 2 times a day but for 3 hour stretches. Your baby may be different. Usually smaller babies will stay awake for a couple of hours then need to rest. I would judge your routine around how long your baby naps for. All babies are different. I would never wake a sleeping baby. If your routine is off by an hour every day don't worry about it. Just make sure you are doing the same routine everyday even though the times may be slightly different.
I spoke with my neighbour the other day about what she did with her kids (she has 2 boys 8 and 6) and she said she NEVER let them cry themselves to sleep. She always rocked them and they turned out just fine. She said eventually they got into their own routine and went to sleep on their own. So, you judge what is best for you, baby and your family. With having a toddler at home, I don't now if I will let Iliana cry it out too long (particularly at bed time) as Anika is a light sleeper and I know Iliana will wake her up which will lead to more work. I may use the tough love during the day and then night time rock her. I haven't decided.
Keep in mind...tough love is good for them. They shouldn't depend on mom for everything. This is the beginning of their independence. It's not going to hurt to let them to cry it out for awhile particularly if you need sleep as baby will eventually cry themselves to sleep. My doc said this to me at the 1 month check up with this baby as she was getting up 8 or so times a nightand I was exhausted. Consistency is KEY!!
I am hoping that I answered all of your questions. If you need more...please feel free to ask.
Im a first time mom too. Layla is going to be 16 weeks already! As far as sleeping in her room...we did that on her second night home, lol. She is such a loud sleeper and moves and grunts constantly and after the first night of staying awake and watching her to make sure she was still breathing...we moved her to her own room and turned the monitor on. As a first time mom Im not sure what to really expect as far as if babies really can get spoiled...or if they get used to a habit and "need" it for months after. So we never started rocking her to sleep bc we were afraid we would have to do it for the rest of her life, lol. We always try to put her in her crib sleepy but still awake that way she knows thats where she sleeps. As for the routine questions, there was not one until we went to her 2 month check up and her pedi told us that she was definately old enough to go 4 hours between feedings. Now keep in mind I have gotten alot of grief for putting my 2 month old on a schedule but AS A FIRST TIME MOM I didnt know any better and her pediatrician told me to do it, AND it just so happened to work out really well for us and I havent noticed any negative side effects. She WAS eating like 2 ounces every 1.5 to 2 hrs...and after getting on this schedule is when she started to sleep through the night. So this is her schedule that I started her on at 9 weeks (and after about 2 days she was already used to it and knew when it was time to eat, sleep, etc.) So...she wakes up at 10am eats, plays for an hour to an hour and a half, and then takes a nap from about 11:30am till 2pm, she eats again and then goes right back to sleep from like 2:30pm till about 4 pm and wakes up and plays till 6 pm when she eats and depending on how busy the day has been, she might go to sleep for about an hour after the 6 o clock feeding, but if not, she will be awake and playing until about 9pm and then I bathe her, feed her, and she is in bed by 9:45 to 10pm. She will sleep until 6am, eat, and then wake up again at 10 am and the whole day starts all over, lol. Because of how well the schedule has worked and how well she sticks to it, I never really get the chance to "let her cry" bc I know what she wants all the time, bc we do the same thing over and over again every single day. Sometimes when its nap time she will get fussy but once I put her in her crib and turn on the mobile she will fall asleep within 5 minutes. Let me know if you have any other questions. Like I said, a lot of people havent agreed with me putting her on the schedule so early, but it really has done nothing but positive things bc now I know what she wants by just looking at the clock, and after Im finally getting a full nights sleep it is definately SO worth it.
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