I agree with you. I am going through the same thing right now. My husband agrees with with me on this. Just stand your ground. Keep up the good work.
You are being a great mother to research and not buy things based on colors, patterns or what is "new" for the season! You have to reasearch. As far as a car seat you are not supposed to use one past 5 years! They are considered outdated and not fit to use after that by law in every state. Also cribs are about to be recalled for all drop side cribs and be illegal to use, Well that means if something happens to the baby or sids it can be dangerous legally for a parent to not get charges on them. In MY, IN, VA, and OH I know that they are not allowed to be used for foster children or at daycare centers anymore. ONly the fixed side cribs are. THey are hoping to pass the new law in to effect this summer some time. As far as swings and play equipment you must see it and see that is has been taken care of! Buying form a freind or family you can know that! Plastic harbors lots of germs and yet hard it is also considered a soft material unlike glass, or counter tops! Things that can be in babies mouth you always be safe to pick! Now the grnadparents should NEVER use a bed or car seat that the parent has not picked!!!!! A mattress I would never get used as they harbor grms and break down after time unless they are the solid latex brands. I feel bad for you my dear but just stand your ground and be firm! Show your DH the sleep sacs they have now so baby does not get smothered by the blankets. Yes they need to be warm but never have stuff in the abbies crib that can suffocate them! Sounds liek both daddy and grandparents need to take the baby classes at the hosptial! They do have grandparents classes!!! I woudl insist or drag them with you to yours for "support and fun". You are not int he wrong and we all are behind you 100% Things have changed! But know this as well that accidents happen less with grandparents then parents. They hve nothing else to do but be over protective when they have the baby. OH if you want a cheap fixed side crib that is solid wood Walmart has a nursery in a box for $199. I read over 400 reviews on it and I bought it! It has the changer. crib, and dresser! I always bought a higher brand for my other three but thought to try this one and see if I liked it. I could not believe th equality when I got it out of the box!!!!!! I search recalls and everythng safe and this is!!! Now I ahve more money to get a organic latex matress:) Oh and the car seat is what you don't want to skimp on! Look up the the first years true fit car seat, on learning curve site, they ahve the NTASA lists of the best ease of use and lots fo other things listed by car seat and forward and rear facing!
I would definitely let them know now. Be polite but firm. You are the mother and you get the final say. I'm sure that in the long run they would prefer you giving firm input now than you not letting them look after the baby because you are worried about its safety.
I had the same issues with my parents, my eldest son is 9 yrs now and I am only just getting it all sorted out. It caused years of us fighting and a lot of me avoiding leaving my children with them and if I had just been honest and firm with them in the beginning it could all have been avoided.
It will make for a few uncomfortable discussions, but once they realise that you are serious they will get over it and move on. Good luck!
That's the same way I feel. I dunno, what gets me is how am I supposed keep my MIL and my mom from buying and using things that aren't safe? Am I supposed to enterfere if they want to use a bad carseat?
I think you are doing the right thing. I did take a hand me down crib, but it's from a friend and I checked the recalls befire I took it, but all of the other things that you mentioned I agreed on. I have been researching EVERYTHING. And unfortuantly some things that I wanted were more becasue of the brand that I chose. I had a friend give me a hard time becasue I wanted the Chicco Keyfit travel system instead of the Graco because it's safer. She thought I was being too picky and that the Graco system was cheaper and had better patterns so I should buy that. Even after I told her the different ratings for the car seats. Just remember it's your baby and your job to keep it safe!