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1085681 tn?1280176627

help! my family is being awful..am I out of line?

My family is throwing a fit because "I'm being picky"..apparently. I'm 22 years old, and this is my first child. The first grandchild for both my husbands family and my family. I've been getting a lot of flack for trying to find the safest products. I don't get it, isn't it smart to try and make your house as safe as possible for your child? And I mean I'm not being crazy here. Its not like I'm covering my house in bubble wrap from Prada. I just feel like some things should be new. Cribs and car seats in particular. But I got a second hand Pack N Play. Everyone is getting on my case because I've been reading and researching about baby products. Isn't that a good thing? I swear I'm not goin crazy with things. I just want my baby to have things that are safe. My mom suggested that I could get a whole bedroom set for the baby on Craigslist..that worries me. I mean people can say anything online and pictures might not even be the actual product. Besides you never know what the people have done to it. I mean they could have taken horrible care of it. Even a swing online kinda worries me, what if its gotten knocked over and just beat up?! I told my mom that and she just rolled her eyes and gave a big sigh, and said I'm being difficult. I'm all for hand me downs as long as they're in good shape. Am I being ridiculous? I know there a lot of recalls and dangerous products out there, and to me its a parents job to try her best to keep her child safe. No one else is trying to learn anything about anything. Lord knows my husband isn't going to find out anything, he got on my case when I said that you don't put babies to sleep with a lot of blankets or pillows. He thought I was wrong and that if you don't your kid will be cold and get sick. I mean neither of us have ever had kids, I'm the only cild of my mother and father and his mom hasn't had anything to do with a baby since his little brother 18 years ago. So things have changed, but unless somebody researches and finds out that things are different we wouldn't have known. I feel like I'm doing a good thing and not only is everybody taking it for granted they act like I'm crazy. Am I? Or are they just out of line?
5 Responses
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1139082 tn?1278162422
I agree with you. I am going through the same thing right now. My husband agrees with with me on this. Just stand your ground. Keep up the good work.
Helpful - 0
906115 tn?1344200509
You are being a great mother to research and not buy things based on colors, patterns or what is "new" for the season! You have to reasearch. As far as a car seat you are not supposed to use one past 5 years! They are considered outdated and not fit to use after that by law in every state. Also cribs are about to be recalled for all drop side cribs and be illegal to use, Well that means if something happens to the baby or sids it can be dangerous legally for a parent to not get charges on them. In MY, IN, VA, and OH I know that they are not allowed to be used for foster children or at daycare centers anymore. ONly the fixed side cribs are. THey are hoping to pass the new law in to effect this summer some time. As far as swings and play equipment you must see it and see that is has been taken care of! Buying form a freind or family you can know that! Plastic harbors lots of germs and yet hard it is also considered a soft material unlike glass, or counter tops! Things that can be in babies mouth you always be safe to pick! Now the grnadparents should NEVER use a bed or car seat that the parent has not picked!!!!! A mattress I would never get used as they harbor grms and break down after time unless they are the solid latex brands. I feel bad for you my dear but just stand your ground and be firm! Show your DH the sleep sacs they have now so baby does not get smothered by the blankets. Yes they need to be warm but never have stuff in the abbies crib that can suffocate them! Sounds liek both daddy and grandparents need to take the baby classes at the hosptial! They do have grandparents classes!!! I woudl insist or drag them with you to yours for "support and fun". You are not int he wrong and we all are behind you 100% Things have changed! But know this as well that accidents happen less with grandparents then parents. They hve nothing else to do but be over protective when they have the baby. OH if you want a cheap fixed side crib that is solid wood Walmart has a nursery in a box for $199. I read over 400 reviews on it and I bought it! It has the changer. crib, and dresser! I always bought a higher brand for my other three but thought to try this one and see if I liked it. I could not believe th equality when I got it out of the box!!!!!! I search recalls and everythng safe and this is!!! Now I ahve more money to get a organic latex matress:) Oh and the car seat is what you don't want to skimp on! Look up the the first years true fit car seat, on learning curve site, they ahve the NTASA lists of the best ease of use and lots fo other things listed by car seat and forward and rear facing!
Helpful - 0
448723 tn?1301454958
I would definitely let them know now. Be polite but firm. You are the mother and you get the final say. I'm sure that in the long run they would prefer you giving firm input now than you not letting them look after the baby because you are worried about its safety.

I had the same issues with my parents, my eldest son is 9 yrs now and I am only just getting it all sorted out. It caused years of us fighting and a lot of me avoiding leaving my children with them and if I had just been honest and firm with them in the beginning it could all have been avoided.

It will make for a few uncomfortable discussions, but once they realise that you are serious they will get over it and move on. Good luck!
Helpful - 0
1085681 tn?1280176627
That's the same way I feel. I dunno, what gets me is how am I supposed keep my MIL and my mom from buying and using things that aren't safe? Am I supposed to enterfere if they want to use a bad carseat?
Helpful - 0
991222 tn?1333990733
I think you are doing the right thing.  I did take a hand me down crib, but it's from a friend and I checked the recalls befire I took it, but all of the other things that you mentioned I agreed on.  I have been researching EVERYTHING.  And unfortuantly some things that I wanted were more becasue of the brand that I chose.  I had a friend give me a hard time becasue I wanted the Chicco Keyfit travel system instead of the Graco because it's safer.  She thought I was being too picky and that the Graco system was cheaper and had better patterns so I should buy that.  Even after I told her the different ratings for the car seats.  Just remember it's your baby and your job to keep it safe!
Helpful - 0
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