Baby shower blues

[mini_me210]

Hi ladies

I'm sorry for sharing something so trivial but I need some advice.

I had a major crying session today because I just realized I'm paying for all the decorations, prizes, plates, table cloth, food and cake for my own baby shower despite having two friends who said they'd help throw the shower. I suddenly felt so not loved. Money is tight and they know that but neither of them offered to pay for anything or chip in.  So I thought I'm supposed to pay for everything. I'm feeling so stressed now and sad. What is the etiquette now a days?  Am I wrong for feeling sad?

[mini_me210]

Hugs to everyone for your support. I had my shower and was very pleased with everything.

[Brittany12385]

Good! I hope you are feing better, as I'm starting to stress out over mine since it's this Sunday. Lol

[mini_me210]

Thanks Brittany12385 it makes me feel better that others are also forking out for their own baby shower. I guess I'm just on a tight budget so i feel the pinch. And you're right too. It'll be fun.

[mini_me210]

Thanks ladies for your support.  I guess i have to air out some grievances to clear the air.

[plumber43]

Hi, usually they are a surprise, did you insist on helping throw it? Maybe they wanted to do it there way and since your doing it they figured your throwing it. I had a big shower but I threw it for my hubby since it was my 4th and his 1st. Maybe they wanted to invest in a really nice gift instead, hugs momma!!!!!

[wonko]

I'm sorry you're feeling stressed out and unloved.  It sounds like your friends are (unintentionally) making you feel miserable at a time when you should be happy.

I'm not getting a shower, nor have I been to any!  So my insights are really limited.  Of course, parties cost money, and money can be tight or a sore spot for anyone.  Maybe your friends figure that with all of the gifts, you will still come out ahead?  (I'm not sure what sort of items you're asking for or expect to receive, just trying to imagine what they could be thinking.)

Personally, I wear my heart on my sleeve and am very direct with people.  So I would be inclined to ask them directly if they plan on helping to pay for the party, and I would also share my frustration about having to pay for it myself.  It really transcends the money, too, since traditionally showers are supposed to be thrown for you, not by you.  (Not that I have any objection to folks who throw their own.)  You don't need to be confrontational, you can let them know that you are confused and that you value their friendship enough to want to clear the air.  Just my two cents, your mileage may vary.  

Hopefully you can get to the bottom of why your expectation of the party and how it would be planned and paid for ended up being so different from what actually materialized.

Most importantly, don't get too down!  This is a special time for you and your baby.