When to have the next one!?

[FreshLove]

Gabriel turned 1 today (Sept. 23rd) and I've been wanting to have the next baby for awhile now. I always knew I wanted my kids close together, like 2 or 2 1/2 years apart. However, I still have to finish this year and one more of college (I should graduate in May of 2013) and my husbands wants to wait until AFTER college and AFTER  we find  a permanent career and house. That could take up to a year or more after graduation and if I wait that long then the kids will be about 4yr apart which is way more than both of us want.

We have possibly come to a compromise to start TTC in September of next year (so a year away) and that way even if I conceived right away the baby would be born mid June and I graduate May 7th-ish. So Gabriel would be 2 when we started trying and the kids would be a little under 3 years apart if we are lucky.

Am I crazy to want to start trying right now? Right now we are doing great as students and parents and are blessed with a convenient schedule and sitter. I know it would mean later nights, fewer date nights, etc. but I don't want to compromise what I want for my family because of college; after all the reason I'm going to college is for my family. Does that make sense?

My husband and I both want our kids close together and he mentioned the other day that he wishes he could make a little sibling for Gabriel but he thinks it'd be crazy to have another one in college. Start TTC now even though life will be crazier and harder for a few years, or wait until it's "safe" after college with no homework, etc?

*sorry long post

[Tiffiepooh]

I know that feeling of wanting another one. My DH and I actually had a discussion about this for the past 3 nights now. We have decided to start trying again when Naomi turns 2 1/2 and since it took 5 months last time hope it will take that long or a little shorter time this next time and baby number two would be due when Naomi is about 3 1/2. Were gonna go ahead an start trying February or January of 2013. We love the idea of knowing that they will be close but Naomi will be old enough to sort of understand and to not feel as jealous.  

[FreshLove]

Period due today or tomorrow so we will if Gabriel gets another sibling soon! The wait has been tedious!

[FreshLove]

My husband and I had decided to think about it and wait at least a few months before trying. Long story short, (I won't go into the TMI details) last Thursday my hubby decided to seduce me during my nightly shower and protection wasn't used (even though he brought a condom). That was cycle day 15, turns out I ovulated the next day on cycle day 16 according to my temps which just revealed it to me today.

Anyway, this is the same exact timing that I conceived my son (BD day 16 and Ovulation day 17). However, I don't think I'm pregnant because with him I knew RIGHT away. I rarely and still don't get a lot of fertile cervical mucus (maybe 3 to 4 days of wet creamy CM no EW) last pregnancy I got a  lot of mucus from ovulation until positive test. And I had little twinges in my stomach a few days after O that lasted over a week....I don't have any of that this time (although this morning I had 3 or 4 "pulling" sensations on my lower right side?)

I know it's early but I just don't feel like I did last time which leads me to think I'm probably not pregnant. My period is due in 7 days so we shall see!

[FreshLove]

Exactly, it takes the average couple a year to conceive and I'm thinking it would take at least a 4 or 5 months. I have a brother that's three years younger (ALLAN) and one that's 10 years younger (NICK). Mom said I went through insane jealousy when Allan was born, I used to try to push him out of her lap and steal his trainer pants, lol. I love him and now that he's older we are closer but we used to fight all the time. With Nick I was a huge help. I changed his diapers, made and fed him bottles, took baths with him every week, taught him to tie his shoes...I absolutely loved taking care of him (even when I was 11 I knew I wanted to be a mommy, lol). We get along great but it's more like I'm a mentor/2nd mom to him, definitely not a play mate. I'm the big sister he goes to when Allan is mean to him, he doesn't feel good and mom's sleeping, etc.

Anyways, I want my kids to be able to play together, share stories and experiences, support each other during high school...you know what I mean? lol

Hope things go well for you guys TTC :)

[FreshLove]

Yes, it makes sense :) If they are younger than 2 they don't really remember being a single child. My brother and I are 3 1/2 years apart and we still used to fight all the time. He still does things on purpose to **** me off because he thinks it's funny. My husband and his 2 siblings are really close (23 month gap between husband and sister and 15 month gap between his sis and little brother) and though they fought sometimes when they were little all siblings do and it wasn't bad. They are all really close and talk to each other about everything.

Anyway, I would like to start now so that my kids are just under 2 years apart the only thing stopping me is finishing up my BA degree.

[stacey10]

just go with when you feel like it and what would work the best for your whole family, although having a new baby when eldest is 2 is hard, it seems easier when they are either born before the eldest is 2 or after they are 2 if that makes any sense :)

[AnnieBrooke]

My therapist once called the emotional systems of small children "primitive," when she was explaining why kids who are 2 don't handle it very well when a new baby is born.  Actually, research has shown that it is emotionally easier on the whole family if the gap between kids is 4 years or more.  I know that is what you did not want to hear, and since you and your husband feel differently, I don't even know why I mentioned it.  I guess I'm just saying not to let baby hunger make you time your kids in such a way that they will mostly fight.