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Avatar universal

Advice please

I just need an outside opinion on this situation.  To begin, my fiancés sister and I have never seen eye to eye.  In fact, we don't even acknowledge each other's existence.  As sad as it sounds it's better that way because she is the type of person who is self righteous, never does anything wrong, and doesn't take responsibility for herself or her children.  She is a mess to say the least.  Recently, she made a comment about me and I'm not sure if it's my hormones that are getting the best of me, but she said "look at her, look at how big she is already, she looks like she's having twins!".  I didn't acknowledge her or her comment, but I feel like she's trying to bait me into an argument.  I mean what pregnant woman wants to hear how big you think she is?  My question is, what would you say to future comments?  Are my hormones just getting the best of me?  Fiancé says not to worry about it, and that I look pregnant not big.
BTW I'm 6 months, on my third pregnancy, and  have only gained 7 lbs.
8 Responses
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973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
In all honestly, I'd say nothing.  Take the bait, become part of the problem.  Now, I have a difficult sister in law. She's pretty rude at times and says things that I just can't believe she says.  I chalk it up to her own insecurities and lack of parental help as a younger person in knowing what TO say and NOT to say.  Her filter is severely lacking.  That's basically a social skill problem in my opinion.  However, I just don't play along.  I talk to her because I'm not going to make a family rift or make my husband uncomfortable or worse---  my kids.  I want us to all go to family outings without any 'drama' or weirdness.  So, I'm polite.  I can  s uck it up for a few hours and allow her to do her thing with saying rude things---  stay quiet about it, and the next day call a girlfriend and complain about her.  

So, don't come up with any biting retort ---  just smile and keep it all in perspective. She doesn't really matter in the scheme of your life.  Don't let her have that power over you.   good luck
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Avatar universal
Thanks for your replies ladies!  I'm hoping that I can tune her out or kill her with kindness.  It sounds easier than it is, because it's an ongoing thing with her.  Ever since the fiance and I got together she's been less than accepting.  I don't want to be around/near her as I have older children who see and hear things and they understand what's being said. They're still young and impressionable and I don't want them exposed to her rudeness and for lack of a better word ghetto attitude.  As for family functions it's either suck it up and deal or don't go.
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Avatar universal
You do show early since this is your third child. Honestly the fact she is saying things like this shows how jealous she is. Do not allow others put you down, you are pregnant you are beautiful, hormones or not smile and say thank you I know I am beautiful. I've heard plenty of different comments due to my weight because I am petite. My partners neighbour said to me "you're as thin as a stick, how can you carry a child?" then says congrats after I given her that look. People will always say foolishness to put you down. I love how I look and I will embrace it no one can ever tell me about myself because who are they to me.. God blessed me and that's all that matters. You're blessed with another child all that matters is your child being healthy and your delivery is easy and safe. Of course we will have our moment where we would blow up based on some comments .. We are pregnant and why would they think it would be cool to say something so stupid. However, mama dear do not stress about it or about her, it really is not worth it. Remember you are beautiful. That is that.
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Avatar universal
Being "big" @ 6months with baby # 3 really isn't that big a deal. The more pregnancies you have the earlier you show  

From out side of the box,  
I would say say
A:  she's trying to make conversation with you, push differences aside,  I mean you are carrying her niece /nephew.  
B: she's just trying to get under your skin.

While I have a short fuse pregnant or not; I have learned how to deal with these type of ppl.

Kindness!  Smile,  look pretty respond in a way she's not expecting  

"Omgees girl I know right! Feels like I'm carrying twins too! But just glad I still look good, " while looking down at your self.

A jealous female hates a woman whom loves her self .  Sad but it's so true!

I know ItS hard to ignore comments like this, especially when it comes from some one "close" just put oN your face, and sit pretty,  trust it will hurt her more with your reaction than it hurts you. She may even try to come back at you again.
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Avatar universal
I'm in a similar situation with my husbands brother but he strongly dislikes me and I have no idea why. He tries bumping into my shoulder anytime he walks past me. But my husband always blocks him. All I do is ignore hes even in the room.. ALWAYS.. your fiancés sister is just trying to start an argument but don't give her attention because that's what she wants.
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Avatar universal
People commenting on my size never bothered me, most don't mean anything by it, but in this case it sounds like she's trying to bite you. Either way it's not worth noting.
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1 Comments
*nothing not nothing.
Avatar universal
It definitely comes natural to her.  
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Avatar universal
Shes trying to cause a wedge between you and your hubby.. ignore her shes just being a b*tch to you
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