Help.... Really stressed.... Fighting with spouse. Need answers.

[BlessedMommyWife]

So hello. I have a 2yr old and I'm 18w with baby #2. This is my husbands first child. We have been arguing left and right about this subject. I have been thinking of getting my tubes tired once I deliver. I'm at home all day and 2 Lil ones I know will be a handful. I love my kids to death and I would like more in the future maybe, but he would like to have them back to back. And I do not wanna do that. He works 6 days out of the week in another city and is barely home. So its easy for him to say let's have them back to back when he ain't home. This baby isnt here yet and he already talks about me getting pregnant again as soon as i have him. This has been an argument daily it seems like... He said if I decide to get my tubes tied he will leave ..... And it stresses me out cause it seems like he's only thinking of himself and what he wants. I brought up birth control and he told me no as well cause I was on the depo shot and it took me almost a year to conceive. But uh.. I just don't know what to do. I'm in such a hard spot and I feel like if I don't give him his way I'm gonna lose my marriage and become a single parent again. Has anyone been in this situation? Or have any helpful words.... :(

[roflbecca]

Uh.. Is the marriage even worth it with someone who will leave you the moment they don't get their own way?
You need to think about yourself and your sanity. Could you imagine having another child back to back like that? And then being home alone with a toddler, and two infants by yourself 6 days out of the week? You don't need his consent to be on birth control. You don't need his consent to do anything with YOUR body.

[AnnieBrooke]

What kind of husband would threaten to leave a woman because she doesn't want to be treated like a brood mare and babysitter while he goes away for 6 days out of 7?  

Get on the Pill and tell him you'll have another baby when everyone is in school.

[RockRose]

What did you discuss before you got married?  Did you agree then that a big family is what you wanted - or were open to - or is this something brand new and he didn't express before that he wants several children?

This is a big decision - and if you tell your doc that you're "open" to having children in the future but just not right now,  he won't tie your tubes.  Generally that's irreversible although some people are successful at getting reversed with expensive surgery that insurance doesn't pay for.  

I wouldn't have another baby with him,  I don't think.  Right now,  you are in a precarious position with him threatening to leave - you'd be in a worse position if you had 3 kids and he left for some other selfish reason.

[Amberkezele]

I'm sorry mama such a sad story having baby's should be a agreed thing between the both of you and he should respect the fact that your not ready like dam you haven't even had your second. Best wishes mama I also have a two year old and got the depo shot a couple time and wish I didn't cuz soon after my girl was one I wanted to have another now she is two and I am pregnant they will be 2 years 11 months apart in age. And I am done for a while want to be able to go on a trip as a family and it be reasonable in price