I don't want to be a step mom

[twinsohlord]

Okay so quite frankly I don't want to do this **** anymore my bf/father of my two has 2 kids 2 n 4 n I feel like their mother has filled their heads with so much ******** and they come to their dad n make him feel bad when she is actively keeping them away but using me as the excuse we are on our second child and this is still a problem  and then today I just felt upset cause I was all thinking about do something special for the kids or w.e an I hear him on the phone saying yeah imma come get them this weekend  n go to chuckie chesse   or w.e which is on Saturday the day of my dead cousin bday and we made plans the boys bday is today he can take him somewhere 2mar or Sunday but anywho we talking and he says I'm bout to start spending time with my kids alone .. like we don't hAve a 1yr old..he said thAt cuz that ***** say they can't be around me umm who's car I gone take them I'm not mines m leAve me home ... I'm not letting my kid go no where where their mom might be because she said she don't want my kids to have nothing to do with my kids ... he doesn't realize how others affect our relationship I feel my bAbies although they have a live in dad have it the worst cuz we are from time to time left out and he feels he has so much too prove like he wanna show them we don't mean as much as them how would he feel If I said I didn't want them doing certain things with us what if I said I just want to be with my kids alone not yours

[AnnieBrooke]

You complain you feel like you have half a family, breaking up will certainly guarantee it.  I guess you think you would feel some sense of control over the whole situation, which you don't feel now.  You're feeling like you and she are rivals, and whoever gets their plans in first "wins."  Do you assume that if you broke it off with this guy, you would meet someone new who doesn't have kids already and would want you and your kids as his family?  How would you feel having to juggle family commitments so your kids can see their dad on some weekends?  You'd be as out in the cold as his first ex.

It might be better to see a counselor together and tell your boyfriend (with the counselor there) just how left out you feel when he makes plans to see his other kids without consulting you first to see if you have any particularly special thing planned for the weekend, such as this event you had in mind in commemoration of your dead cousin.  It would help so much if the two of you talked all of this over with counseling help.

[twinsohlord]

Should we break up I want to I want to have a family an they way things are going I'm gonna have half a family and me n mines will always be left out at some point