I'm not ready!

[otravez]

I'm still a new mom, still nursing. just turned 36 and my child will be 11 months, and today I realized my period was late. Took a test and sure enough turned positive. I just started crying. My relationship is not the best (I called him and he was studying (masters), told me he'll call me back and never did) and we have barely been having sex! Like once a month if that. Wth! I'm so not ready and I would have tried to choose a better time (like summer, not winter for having a child) I want to be happy and enjoy this pregnancy, I was so worried my first one I couldn't, but now....I'm just not even sure how to feel about this. I wanted to wait a little, I wanted to plan my next child. I know I should feel blessed, but I'm just upset and worried and I had not decided if I wanted more children in this relationship...sorry for the rant, I just want for once to feel happy about finding out I'm pregnant and both times I have just been caught by surprise and not feeling excited about it even though I knew I wanted kids....what's the matter with me

[dolphin8808]

There is absolutely nothing with you. This is a scary thing even for those who planned it. My situation was not good at first. I was so scared I didn't know what to do, I was depressed but then I came around. Hormones play a huge role right now too. So just take it 1 day at a time and your 2nd little miracle with bring you much love, regardless of what is happening with your BF.

[Anomalychick]

You're 36. The older you get the higher the risk of birth defects and miscarriages. If you want a second child, its much better for both you and the child if you have it now instead of later, so be glad you're pregnant now and not at 40 when you finally feel ready for it but your body is too old to do it right.

[2gs_2bs_andcounting]

Don't worry, most of what you're going through is related to hormones. Even when you're nursing you're still not the normal you. Once you get your belly and feel some kicks you'll settle down. I don't really believe there's a perfect time to have a baby. But every pregnancy and baby is a miracle. As for your man, the number 1 thing I've learned after 15yrs is love is not an emotion but an action. Relationships are hard work, if it was easy every one would stick with it. Sometimes you have to say I don't feel like loving you but I'm going to stay committed to this and still pack you a lunch, clean up your mess, and whatever else you throw my way.  I've had my share of breakdowns over the years but i think it levels off after about 7/8 yrs of marriage after we let go of our false expectations of one another. Just take it easy for now