My husband doesn't understand me

[ctberalmu]

Hi ladies, this is a kind of desperate, venting and looking for advice post. Sorry!
At this point I am honestly thinking I am dealing with a depression here.. I don't really know if there's something like pregnancy depression. My mood has been so off, I'm always down, tired... But the worst part of it all is that my husband doesn't really understand me! I've been telling him I wanted to go see a therapist and he gets upset, he says I don't need a shrink, that is his job to keep me happy not anyone else. However, he makes me feel so miserable, if I'm frustrated for whatever reason and start to cry, he blames me and says I'm behaving like a child! If I take whatever decision, he's always there to tell me that I have made the wrong one and that he has to clean the mess after me.
I know that being the husband of a pregnant woman can take its toll, I get that. He has a lot of responsibility on him, plus he takes care of our daughter and does the chores.. But he is just plain mean with me. I feel he doesn't love me anymore and when I ask he gets pissed off.
Yesterday he said to me that I'm not the woman he thought I was when we married.. That he thought I was different but now has realized I'm not that way. I'm just speechless, all I can do is cry and that upsets him even more.

I'm 32 weeks pregnant now, and I'm beginning to think this baby was a mistake

[AnnieBrooke]

Many ob-gyn practices and clinics have a relationship with a counselor (like a therapist or a social worker) who deals with women's issues around childbirth and also loss of dreams.  Ask your doctor if there is a counselor in the practice or one they recommend, and just go.  Your husband doesn't need to give you permission and you don't have to hold it up in front of him that you're going, either.

[RockRose]

You're certainly going through a rough patch.  I'm sorry this is so hard.

In my experience, it's really distressing to a man when his wife is chronically unhappy,  and he will spend a lot of energy trying to make her happy - or at least make sure she knows to behave like she's happy.  Which isn't helpful.

There are a couple things here - it sounds like you were very self-reliant and content when he married you,  and you've changed - maybe because of the pregnancy.  He picked the kind of woman he wanted,  you,  and now you've changed.  

So he needs to know that your happiness is not his responsibility,  and if you are behaving like you're unhappy,  it's not helpful for him to basically demand that you behave as if you're happy.  

I agree that you should talk to your doctor next visit.  In the meanwhile,  make sure you're getting enough exercise (walking a couple miles is a great thing) and doing things that make you happy,  whatever that is. Playing music.  Painting.  Whatever it is.

And if your husband is doing almost all the child care and household maintenance,  take some of that back from him.

[lkaykirk]

Talk to your doctor about it.

[FollinC]

Don't ever think your baby is a mistake. The Lord has given yall this little miracle and that's a blessing!!
And yes, you can have feelings of depression during and even after your pregnancy. If your husband is saying these things to you and isn't helping you thru it then you really need to speak with your doctor about it. I'm pretty sure they will give you the help you need. That's what they are there for.
It's not your fault you feel this away... your body is changing and your hormones make you feel all sorts of ways. Please just take the time to talk with your doctor about how you are feeling. I'm definitely here and praying for yall!!