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Pregnant & alone
Hello I'm 24 weeks pregnant and about 2/3 weeks ago the father of my 5 year old daughter & unborn child broke up with me because we fought a lot I kind of believed that so I gave him space. We do not live together he lives 2 hours away due to work, when I was pregnant from my 5 year old he walked away from our relationship to be with a crack head so he missed the birth of our daughter he then went to prison for 5 years due to a drive by he did in that time I was kind of there for him in a relationship way anyways he got out in April and we got back together, I waited more then a year for him and once he got out I got pregnant, and again he walked away saying we fought to much and he needed to do him first so I was okay with it. Sad but I cant hold him by my side if doesnt want to. So yesterday i called him my daughter wanted to talk to him, to find out when someone picked up his phone it was his new girlfriend, I didnt fight I said your daughter want to talk to you and somehow he didnt end up talking to her, he told me he started dating someone after we broke up and I said you dont have to give me an explanation. He said he bought stuff for the baby and all but never calls or text to ask about baby or my daughter anymore he said if your hurt or not to bad that's on you the baby isnt born and has no feeling what so ever. I didnt argue with him I told him I was going to hang up and we ended our conversation with okay. So my question is should i allow him to be at the delivery room with me when all he's done is hurt me over and over? Hes never gone to the dr with me he doesn't help with $ wise and I feel he doesn't care about nothing. What should I do? Im sorry if to long I just need some advice. I really hope hes happy Ive never been the type to blow up his phone or beg him to come back. Just feeling lost.
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134578 tn?1483549754
See a lawyer.  Then see a shrink to figure out how you got into this mess, what makes you a doormat?  You're going to have to live this one without him (obviously) but there is nothing wrong with filing for child support.  If he's a user and a jailbird, he probably isn't out there getting legitimate jobs where he has a paycheck that can be garnished, but there is nothing wrong with getting his name in the records as owing back child support.  Maybe someday his sorry butt will grow up and he will think of getting a job, and you'll get some financial help.  
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A lawyer for what? He does have a job as a leader in a remodeling backyards company. I dont want his money I've never needed it from him, if he's there for my kids its more than I can ask for I just dont know if i should allow him to be there? Does he have rights even if hes not on the birth certificate or last name of this baby im going to have?
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134578 tn?1483549754
You might not personally want his money but his kids have a right to his financial support (and his emotional support too if he is not too much of a slider to give it to them).  Don't turn away child support if it is possible to get it.  This is his children's right.
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He still have right!DNA can proof it.pls be calm, pray for guidance,you can seek counselling in other to speak to the right people.may God lead you right honey.
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I would tell him when you go in to labour and if he turns up he does and he is showing you that he is interested. But if he doesn't leave it at that and wait for him to get in contact with you. It's a crappy situation your in and I'm sorry he is like that have you got family that can be with you if he doesn't turn up?
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Think of your children. What is best for them. Is it healthy for them to have someone like that in and out of their lives? Even for you. You and your children deserve to be happy and if he can't show you that his children matters then maybe he isn't worthy enough of being in the delivery room for such a special moment that he hasn't earned. Yes he's the biological father. But like they say "anybody can call them selves a parent but a parent is someone who puts that child above their own  selfish needs and wants.
But stay calm and don't stress yourself. You still have a few months to make up your mind.
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Coming from a man point of view. Walk away. You can do it on your own. Don't let no man think they are above you and you need them. Let it be tough love. Take it upon yourself to care for both your kids and ask one of your good friend if she will be in the home to support  you while giving birth. Clearly this man has no intention  of being with you or stepping up as a father to your 5 year old and unborn child. Wish you all the best and make the best decision  for your kids. They should be number one e in your life. Bless.
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