help please

[january19carson]

Just need a little advice. I'll try to make my story short and sweet. I'm not complaining by any means I just need to know what to do. I'm a person that doesn't like confrontation at all. I don't like dealing with it. I just wanted everyone to be happy. My parents hate my baby daddy/boyfriend. They have every right too. Ever since we have started dating he's cheated on me multiple times. I've caught him every time. They don't know about every time but they know he has. He has a drinking problem which I found out about not to long ago. He works at a store that is right next to the liquor store or he use to (by the way it was a full time job with benefits for our baby's son but he left that job and now my baby has no insurance)almost every night go in there and buy a pint of whiskey which isn't big and pour it into a coke and drink it on his way home I would never know. I didn't catch on at first. Then every night he wanted to go to bed at like 630-7 and I was like why are you going to bed so early and he would say bc I worked and I'm just tired. His parents are no help literally his dad keeps whiskey in the house 24/7 and all Josh has to do is ask for it and he'll be like ok go get some. He can't handle alcohol never can never will be able too. Alcohol was the main cause of a lot of our fights. When he drinks he looks for a fight and talks so much sh*t to me. He's spit on me before, shoved me, told me I was fat and needed to go eat cheeseburgers,etc. Threw water all over me, gets in my face yells at me causes neighbors to knock on our door and ask if everything is ok. Just really bad stuff, and his parents know about every time that we have gotten it but yet they dont like confrontation and dealing with it they just slide it under the rug and don't say anything. its gotten to the point that I feel like I need to babysit him with that and if I ever try to say no to him drinking he turns into an *******. He has more respect for his parents than he does me.every time we got into our fights my parents were involved and I would have to leave our apt bc we live together and I would try to take my sons stuff and he would try to stop me from taking it. It's not like he paid for it either my mom did. Eventually I would get it.one time my dad came up there with his friends to beat his *** bc of the way he was treating me and the way my bf was talking **** to my dad. I had to pull them out of the apt and beg them to just take me home and that it wasn't worth it to have the cops called which surprisingly no one called I think bc everyone wanted him to have his butt beat lol bc they hear the way he talks to me. Not to mention I would work such long hours at work like 11-10 and then I would come home to this. Im the type of person who sees the good in everyone and help people change it does seem to have gotten better he deleted his fb for me bc of him hitting up girls on there sad I know he tries to let me limit him on his alcohol intake but to be honest I don't think that it is really getting limited bc he is the one pouring them. He always has to be fu**ed up and if he isn't then he doesn't "feel good." My parents have offered to me once that I move back in with them and i denied it bc I wasnt ready to let go and my dad sat me down last night and offered it to me again and I want to but with that comes me cutting off my bf completely besides when he sees my son and I know that him and his parents will take me to court over it. He is the type of person that wants confrontation and will talk so much sh*t to me. We broke our lease and have basically moved back into his parents house. I hate living here. 3 dogs and a cat. Dog and cat hair is every where I can't even let my son crawl around when he is here. The cat lays all over the table counters and desk. I can't stand it. His mom tries to wash my son's clothes and shrinks them. And then lays them in cat hair on the table. It makes me so mad. She's a nice lady but come on my mom cleans everyday bc of my bulldog she sweeps and mops bc it's nasty to let dog and cat hair just be everywhere. I just don't know what to do guys I do have feelings for him still but I don't want to pass the opportunity up of living with my parents and them supporting me. i would have to stay in the dining room till we figured something out my dad said he would get a bigger house for me and is basically offering me the world But there is so much crap that comes with that. I don't know what to do help :(

[jemma116]

For the sake of your safety and that of your baby, move out fast (if you have not already done so).

He will never change.
Living with his parents, and especially with the standard of hygiene, it is no good for you or your baby.

Don't worry if he tries to threaten you with court.  The court would not be in his favour.  

You have wonderful caring and supporting parents.  Accept their help.

God bless and hope things work out for you.

[azndoraemon]

Move in with your parents and get their support.  If you stay with him then your baby will turn out to be abusive too when he grows up.  

Get your family to help you moving the crib while they are gone.  If your bf fight over the crib then give him back $1.10.  Worse case just let him keep the crib, is not worth fighting over.  After you move, be sure to stay firm and move on with your life.  

[january19carson]

And I have a bassinet.

[january19carson]

No I paid for the crib with money I got from the shower and he paid the remaining balance of 1.10.

[maggiemay22]

I would say have your dad or brother or male cousin help you take the crib part of the way down so you can get it out and in the car. I would definitely take a male figure with you though so that if anyone comes home nothing gets out of hand.

[ItsaBoy013115]

If his parents paid for most of it if just get a bassinet for now till you can afford a crib

[january19carson]

My son is due any day now I'm already 3 cm dilated and 80% effaced

[january19carson]

Another thing is they have already set the baby's room up at his parents took the crib I paid 3/4 for and already put it up Josh paid a 1.10 for it how do I get that and bring it to my parents I don't want any drama. I plan on moving my stuff while his parents are at work and while He is at work.

[Angie2906]

Honey it sounds like you have all the ammunition you need...he is an alcoholic...you need to think about your son and no one else at this point...he is suppose to be a grown man...if he chooses to be a drunk instead of a daddy, that's on him...your son's life shouldn't stop for anyone...leave him at his parents house and go home to your parents...you can take pictures/videos as to why the environment is not safe for your child to be at his parent's house while you are still there...he may try to keep you there and if so, if it gets violent make sure you call the police this time so you will have a police report to take to court...your parents are trying to get you on the right path, you should take it for your son...your BD/BF is not going to be any good for you if he doesn't stop drinking...he needs extensive counseling, AA classes, etc...do what is best for your son and yourself...or stay miserable...if he hasn't been physical with you, it's coming, trust me...my brother is the same way, he'll talk his way back to his wife, be an angel for a couple of days and then the monster is back...I know you don't want your son to see you with black eyes and bloody noses...your parents are only going to give you a small amount of chances to come back and then they will wash their hands with the situation...I would go now!!! God bless you and your son

[momMaggie]

My advice is to move in with your parents until you can get on your own feet. Your bf has a lot of issues to deal with and it sounds like his parents are only making it worse, even if they have good intentions. For your baby's safety and well being even more than your own, you both need to be in a clean, safe, and stable environment. So if your parents are offering you that, then you should take it. I would establish ground rules with your bf and his parents. I would also establish ground rules with your parents.They don't have to take care of you forever, but you need help until you can support yourself and your child. Your baby's father has a legal and moral obligation to support your baby financially. If you aren't married then you should have custody and child support established, even if you are on good terms. You don't have to cut the father or grandparents off from the child. It's best if your child has a  healthy relationship with them. The key word is healthy though. If you didn't have a baby I would be telling you to get out of a toxic relationship. Since you do have a baby, it's even more important. You don't need to hate the dad. It would be normal to still care about him. But it's not ok to put up with abuse of any kind. And he isn't ok if he's an alcoholic not getting treatment. You can't do anything to force him to change. You CAN change things for yourself and improve your child's life.

[maggiemay22]

I'm so sorry for what you are going through, you need to do what's best for you and your son. If his daddy is drunk and pushing you around your son definitely doesn't need to be around that what if he starts doing it to him when he's older? Its not a safe situation for anyone and if your parents are supportive and you are ready to make the change I would definitely say move back in with them. You shouldn't have to take abuse just because he is your sons father you are worth more than that. My grandpa was very abusive to my dad and grandma so I understand Its hard to leave but one thing was grandma says is she wishes she would've left sooner. Good luck to you hun you will be in my prayers.

[ItsaBoy013115]

Wow a lot of things. Honestly sweetie I suggest going with your parents. He doesn't treat you well at all you just need to leave that abusive relationship its not good for your child to be around that constant arguing and abuse. So I highly suggest getting out now while you can. Still let him see his child tho. And if his parents take you to court so what they can't take your child unless they prove you are an unfit parent which by the sounds of it you aren't and he is so I wouldn't worry much about that.