Am I being selfish?

[AriQueen]

Ok so I am wondering, after everything I have been through the last couple of days, major surgery having a baby, complications, fussy baby, and dealing with a ten years old that has ADHD and super hyper....I wondering if I am just being a cry baby in wanting my mom to pitch in to help me out. Well the issue goes something like this...

My mom is turning 60 this Sunday and my sister is throwing her a 60th b-day party. As you all know my mom has been staying with me the last couple of weeks to help out and it has been great. However, I feel like its the wrong time to be throwing a party in the middle of everything that has been going on. My sister and I had discussed she would plan this party later in the month to wait until I got better and things sort of settle down for me. Well, that;s not the case now and she has decided to throw the party this weekend. She is taking my mom from Wed-Sat in preparation for the party. Ok that's fine cool and dandy but that leaves me with no HELP AT ALL. I am still having trouble getting around especially getting in and out of bed and picking up the baby on my own. It feels like my recovery is taking for ever so having my mom around to help would be nice. I can only come down the stairs once per day and if my mom isn;t here I feel like I am going to go insane with the baby and being in the house by myself. Between breatpumping, getting my stepson ready in the morning for school, cleaning bottles, and tending to the baby I don't know if I can make it. Or maybe I am not giving myself enough credit that I can probably doing on my own.

Am I being selfish in not letting my mom enjoy herself these couple of days b/c I'm being insecured about my mothering abilities or is my sister crazy for planning this party now knowing I need mom's help? I feel like my sister is not being considerate of the situation and is doing it just to **** me off.

[AriQueen]

Things are going well just trying to adapt to being a mom.

[Michele, Katy, TX]

How are things AriQueen???

[AriQueen]

Thanks ladies.

Michelle, it's the same thing with me. It seems like ever since the baby I just want to be left alone and not have all this people around. It seems like my house has been packed of people ever since the baby came home and I hate it! It don't get to enjoy the baby one bit over the weekend b/c my family is so large that everyone wants to see the baby. I mean it's nice that they are interested to meet him, but can't they wait a few weeks. Geesss...

lmc2132, my mom left today and she won't be back until Monday morning. We will see how I survive these few days. My Dh and I have full custody of his son and his mom is nowhere in the picture.....

[lmc2132]

Can you talk with your Mom?  What does she want to do?  It seems like this should be her decision, where to spend her time.

Is there anyone else who could help?  Could your stepson's mother or other family take him for a few days?

You're not being selfish.  While I am sure you can do it on your own if you have to, it's clearly a tough time for you and you should feel comfortable asking for help.  good luck.

[Michele, Katy, TX]

I do think your sis should have waited a little longer for this party .  I basically go into hiding after I have a baby and don't do anything social for weeks.  It's not enjoyable when you have a baby that is so small anyway.  Even for Christmas this year, I will go to the inlaws and make an appearance.  That's it and it's only for DH.  He will stay with the other kids and I will leave w/ the baby.  There are tons of people and it's super loud, which will only stress a baby out.  Not to mention germs, etc.

Could your mom only be gond for a couple of days instead of 4 days???  The timing just stinks and I know all about that.  Everytime I have a baby, I swear it brings my husband's family from Colombia.  I'm serious.  Everytime I give birth, he has some aunt or uncle or cousin or someone traveling and I hate it because I get PPD and don't want to be around people right after having a baby.  And my husband wants to show the new baby off like a trophy!!!