So every now and again I have these terrible PMS like cramps in my lower abdomin, not sure what they are, they seem to come and go, not frequently or anything, but I was wondering is if they could be contractions... but me not be in labor yet... also I don't understand the whole BH idea, because I'm pretty sure that I'm not having those, and if I am then I'm not really feeling them. Ugh just over all I'm confused, I did bring this up to my doc at my last apt, but he seemed to think that it was just the way baby's head was sitting, but I get these feelings even when I'm not feeling my baby move. So I'm just over all I'm confused... I know what people say about contractions, cramping that spreads throughout the abdomin, gas cramps, back cramps, all of which I'm pretty sure I'm feeling when I have these PMS cramps... *sigh* I'm just so lost, and I don't want to be like some women and have the baby on the bathroom floor ya'know? Now I know that this probably wont happen, but it's my first and I dunno how any of these things work...
Also my back is killing me... literly, today at work I broke down and started crying my eyes out because of how much pain I'm in... and it would be nice if my work allowed me to work maybe a half shift (4 hours), which is pretty much as long as I can stand being on my feet and/or doing all of the lifting that a CNA does. And I hate to be like this, but I physically can't do alot of the things I use to... and I find that irritating and I get more pissed at myself than at anyone else, however, I do need alot more help with things than I did prior to now.
For example, this is what led up to me braking down... I am slightly anal when it comes to getting everything I need to get done by the time I leave, well today after lunch(lunch ends at 1pm) I needed to lay one lady down, get another lady's teeth brushed, get her dressed, and finally get her up, and then I needed to get another man washed up... *sigh* all before 230pm. So when I get done with lunch, I know that the other aide I'm working with is in the middle of feeding one of two or three people down my unit, so I automatically ask another aide off another unit, well apparently that was a bad idea, because her nurse pulled me aside (mind you this is after finishing her vitals and helping her toilet someone) and was basically tell me that I could ask her for help and that she didn't care that all of these other things needed to get done... nore the fact that the other two people down my unit needed to eat, she didn't wanna' be interupted from passing pills, well for f-sake she's there till 6pm today, there was no reason that she needed to act like that to me. So I told her fine!!! I'll do it myself, it's not like it would be the first time, nore the last that i use a mechanical lift that requires two people to use by myself!!! And at that point I was just so frusterated and so pissed and to top it all off, I was in pain that I brust into tears... Nowi kind of feel like an a$$...