My husband and I are having our first baby in may. We decided when we found out that we were going to raise our baby old fashioned and nonmaterialistic. We don't want our baby to grow up with the trendiest toys that cost a fortunate. We are thinking a few nice durable toys like a collection of stuffed animals and some other things. When I told my mother to warn her that I don't want her spoiling the kid with materialistic expensive toys she said she would get the baby whatever she wants and I can't stop her. But that is literally going to prevent me from raising my child the way I want him or her to be raised.
I don't really have much contact with my mil because my hubby doesn't either so that's great I don't really deal with her. But my mom is extra bad in some areas!! She doesn't allow me to raise my kids the way I want and we've gone as far as to not talk to each other over it for about a year!! She let's my kids run around and do as they please and or tells me not to tell them anything when they're doing wrong and that's just not okay with me. Also she wants me to be my kids maid basically and for them not to be responsible for anything and that's just not okay. I expect them to pick up after themselves at least. Pick up their toys and such. I obviously cook, clean, wash etc for them but the simple things like pick up after themselves I expect them to do or to help as much as possible but she thinks its all my responsibility at all times.
My first kids paternal grandma told me not to worry about bringing a car seat to visit as they still had his dad's from when he was a baby... ummm no... she claimed it was still in great shape and there were no recalls on it that she could find... sorry but my kid is not going in a 25yo carseat
My fiances mother which will be me baby girls grandmother likes to go shopping with me for baby clothes but she don't like anything i pick out and says "I'm going to have my own clothes for her when she comes over to my house" and she buys all this old fashion stuff and it makes me so mad
I was reading about the Facebook things in earlier comments.. I can relate.. I don't have a Facebook and neither does my fiancé and my aunt told me at my baby shower that I will HAVE to get one to put pictures of my baby on there. Excuse me? Uhm, NO. I already HAD a Facebook, then I grew up, realized I don't care what other people think, and that's why I deleted it, genius. THAT'S why I don't have one anymore! Because I HAD one and I hated it! Family drives me ABSOLUTELY nuts.
I'm 31 weeks with my first baby, my daughter, and it's my mom's first grandchild and my MILs first grandchild as well. My mom insists she's taking 12 weeks of FMLA leave from her work to help me out after I deliver. Which is a nice offer and everything but it's my first kid and I just want to be left alone.. like a momma bear and her cub! Lol! Just give me time and space please and let me figure things out!! Also my fiancé and I are both "only childs" so it's especially hard, our moms, are constantly on our case! Also our moms went shopping for my baby registry and surprise!- my mom didn't buy ONE thing from it for either of my baby showers!! Hello woman, I spent HOURS AND DAYS picking stuff out WITH YOU and you just buy whatever you want anyway!! And they'd both look at outfits I thought were trashy and hideous and I'd say my child will never wear that. And they'd say something awful like oh maybe June (my daughter) will just come home from grandma's house wearing it!! Why would you do that?! I don't want my kid wearing things that worship materialism, praising gold and diamonds and whatnot. It's just shallow and unbecoming! I don't want my kid being left alone with these people :'( I just want my daughter for myself and her dad, my fiancé, my love. Is that too much to ask :(
Oh also I forgot to add my mom drives a mustang, no WAY is my infant daughter going in a two-door car!! Especially the way this woman drives it's nuts!
Haha this forum is so funny. I'm 12 weeks pregnant with my first child. Facebook and Instagram doesn't know that I'm pregnant and we tend to keep it that way until the baby comes. The only people that knows about it is our parents and close friends that's it. Our siblings doesn't know and we like that they don't coz they can be mouthed. So basically we want them to know when I'm showing....maybe at 5months lol then for the rest of the world, we ain't telling anyone. As far as my mom, she's cool never mentioned what or how we should raise the baby. My mother in law just never wanted him to marry me, she got over just right before we got wedded. But then she and her her husband have been pressing us to get pregnant coz it's good for people to have children before they get to late 20's. I hated what they were saying so I totally ignored it and my husband ignores it too coz we have plan on when to conceive. I'm in graduate school and I want to have our child in the summer instead when I'm taking classes. So that's what we did and conceived and baby due in June. His parents are now way too excited about it but I feel like they may be thinking we got pregnant because of what they been telling us lol I try not to think about. I'm also not worried about them since they live in a different country.
I completely understand about the posting of photos on facebook I just tell people I don't mind you taking photos but they are not going on the internet and fortunately everyone understands that and no one has posted anything. Like you I don't use it so I don't see why my child should be on there. As for the dummy thing my son has never had one it's not a necessity i found if he was crying then there is something up so I would figure out what was up and the crying would stop x
I'm expecting my first baby in March and am fed up of people shoving advice down my throat I haven't asked for as though I'm not capable of being a parent.
My mum annoyed me a lot when she told me good luck getting her to stop crying without giving her a dummy - obviously if she's hungry or needs her nappy changing she will forget all about that and settle as soon as the dummy goes in her mouth!
I feel the same as in me and my husband want to raise our child our way, I worry if I leave her with family who have different opinions they'll do what they want which is against our wishes. Don't think it's very respectful and it makes me not want to leave her alone with people like that.
My brothers wife and has taught her niece to understand "have you s**t", the toddlers mum hates swearing so she did it on purpose!! Also me and my husband aren't on Facebook and don't really like it, we don't want people posting photos of our child on there and people we don't know seeing her, plus their mates aunties next door neighbours daughter seeing either!! Know we can't control what people put on their Facebook but we have expressed how much we don't want photos of our child on there so we will see what happens!
It's good to get them to do little things like that tho because when there like ten and you say right you need to start doing this they will hate it but if they already know that's what they need to do then you don't become Cinderellas mother who only allows them to do chores lol.
My mum is always trying to better parent my son. It drives me mad. It's like is he going to be warm enough? Erm yes otherwise I would put another layer on! Do you not own mittens? Yes, unless you want to keep putting them on when he throws them off and follow me around picking them up then they will stay in the bottom of the changing bag! What has he eaten? Does his nappy needs changing? ( not when I've just done it) and the list goes on. I don't know if it's hormones but it's so blooming irritating I just say look if you could stop talking for like five minutes that would be great. People look at me like I'm a total biatch when they over hear me say it I just smile and try not to bang my head against a wall.
Mine insists that my 4 kids don't look like me. Really! Or if my husband and I, he does have the more dominate traits, but they clearly look like me. When people say they look like their mom or they must have got that hair color from mommy, no they look like their Gran or she argues that she had hair like that once so that must be where they got it. She acts like it's joking, but after over a decade and correcting her she clearly likes annoying me.
the only annoying thing my bfs mom dose is let my little boy run over her, and when he gets home we have to correct it, like he sometimes tries to slap her and she only tells him thats not nice "we do believe in spankings here" and it seems to be working out really well because for 18months my little man listens very well, but anyway one day he slapped the hell out of my bf and we couldn't even react because we were so shocked! but all i could think about is he learned that at grandma's, then it was confirmed when i seen him do it to her, but poor thing shes just so soft on him i think it breaks her heart to see me spank him, so i know shes not going to even attempt to, lol but other than that shes the best grandma ever, we are expecting number two and she has just been the best for taking him when we/i need a break, and she also cooks for us at her house and brings it home to us, i just wish she was a little tougher on him but i love her
I'm sorry you are going through a tough time. Keep your head up and do what you can for your baby and the one on the way. Focus on positive things you can do for yourself and your kids. Reach out to a local organization that helps single moms, like LOVE, INC or Family Resource Center or a local church that can help you move on positively for your kids. Even if you love their dad, you have to do what's best for your kids and yourself. If he is on drugs and is treating you that way, he doesn't respect himself or you. Move on and if he's truly willing to change he can prove that through his actions. If he's abusive to you, it's only a matter of time until he is abusive to your sweet babies. Stay safe! I'll be praying for you!